Really, Christians? That’s what you want to go with?

The generation to whom the Christians’ bigwig directly spoke 2000 years ago will not pass away before the Most Momentous Day. Of course, they have all passed away, unless you want to believe that some god made a few of them immortal and commanded them to live in secret just so that this obviously wrong prophecy would turn out to be technically true. But if they’re immortal, then we can’t foresee a reasonable limit to the waiting for the end of days.

Wars and rumors of war will immediately precede the second coming of Jesus, the Rather Greasy. But wars are happening all the time, rumors of war even more often. So how is it that a good Christian theocrat is supposed to use these to establish a timeline?

The traditional methods have failed to establish the timing of the Battle of Megiddo Hill, AKA Battle of Ar Megiddo, AKA Battle of Armageddon.  Again and again “prophets” have told us that one day or another will be the last for the sinning sinners of sinland. And yet, again and again they have been proven wrong.

What’s a Christian in search of money got to do to lay down some impressive prophesying these days?

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For Your Enjoyment: Penises, Pepsis, and (Grocery?) Bags

We Hunted the Mammoth is a website probably at least vaguely familiar to any reader of Pervert Justice. While WHTM may or may not be to your taste, author/curator David Futrelle has discovered something interesting and terribly, terribly funny about the tastes of a certain misogynist. While I highly recommend you spend some time browsing the site and especially reading the particular post in question, I cannot stop myself from stealing a few snippets of Futrelle’s work and pasting it here for your enjoyment. Permit me to begin by reposting the very interesting writings of a particular misogynist discovered by Futrelle:

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Republicans Asked WHAT?

In one of the more amusing screams to come out of the lethal circus fire that is the Republicans’ “big tent” these days, we now hear this complaint:

  • Senate Democrats, from Sen. Bernie Sanders to Sen. Joe Manchin, have followed Sen. Chuck Schumer’s lead and refused to negotiate with Republicans on a path forward to replacing Obamacare.

Well, I could mention the fact that refusing to negotiate and refusing to repeal are two different things, but then I’d pour water on this thing when the really exciting explosions are just about to…

 

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Hold My Beer: “Let Them Eat Champagne” – No, really.

Let them eat Brioche not good enough? That’s okay: Ivanka gives us the high-class version of Hold My Beer. For Ivanka, it’s hold my champagne.

Ivanka Trump, whose family sells Trump-branded champagne, actually tweeted out that this memorial day – the day we set aside to think about those who actually fucking died in the wars fought by US soldiers at the orders of US politicians – that this Memorial Day should feature champagne frozen into popsicles. Y’know. For the dead.

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A Timely Rebuttal to St. Anselm

We are, of course, all familiar with the ontological arguments of St. Anselm, in which he uses the existence of something greater than whatever you’re currently thinking about to prove that there must be a single greatest thing, because no one thing is ever greatest because there’s always something greater. Or something. I’m told it logics quite a bit, actually.

As one result of an unfortunate encounter for Anselm, over at Chainsawsuit by Kris Straub I found Anselm’s argument unfortunately demolished by a dick:  [Read more…]

Yes, I Talked To A Trump Voter

Warning: exact quote from a racist below.

Me: But why?

Them: I didn’t think Obama was fair. After 8 years of Obama, I wanted a fair leader.

Me: Ah. You wanted a Fair Leader. So we’re in agreement then. You voted for Trump because of racism.

Yeah, I don’t think they got it. But if not for definitions 2 & 9, what they said wouldn’t make any sense to me either.

 

 

Christianity Versus Personal Responsibility

No deep insights here. Just a big, bold WTF? at the fact that so many conservative Christians continue to profess to be champions of personal responsibility.

Really?

Christians: your god hates personal responsibility. He loathes it. If you believe he exists and if you believe Christian doctrine, then this god has condemned you to torture because of something someone else did thousands of years before you were born. That’s not personal responsibility. If that god believed in personal responsibility, Eve and Adam would have taken some lumps – presumably the snake also – and, well, that would be it. They were cast out of the garden. Their children didn’t return, so no one else ate the forbidden fruit. Nope. Just those two. But the Christian god is happy to make you responsible for events in which you played no personal part.

And, of course, there’s no responsibility imposed on you for your evil acts. Sure, you have to “believe” in the Big J, but even if you don’t commit any evil acts, you’d still have to have faith in order to escape torture. To escape divine condemnation, Stalin must pay the same price (no more, no less) that any child who dies within minutes of being born must pay. No need to make amends to those you’ve wronged. No need to do something a little extra to make it back into the Christian god’s good graces if you ordered water boarding and other war crimes. No need to suck up just a little bit more if you launch a war that kills hundreds of thousands of people.

Nope. This god condemns regardless of your behavior. This god condemns regardless of the amount of evil you harbor. And this god forgives Hitler and Mother Teresa just as quickly and easily as this god “forgives” Charles Hamilton Houston, Sylvia Rivera, Hildegard von Bingen, and Woody Guthrie.

Personalized responsibility? Responsibility where it actually matters what you personally have done, why you did it, and what outcomes resulted? That’s anathema to the Christian god and antithetical to the tenets of Christianity.

And yet so many people simultaneously profess to be devout Christians and believers in personal responsibility. I sometimes wonder: do they even realize that they must of necessity be lying about at least one of those things?