Trouble Keeping Up

Yes, I know I’m cynical a lot of times, and it seems like the times when it all goes to complete shit that I would be in my natural element. But I’m not. I’m just feeling terrible about all this the last couple weeks, and my usual snark and satire feel poorly suited to our current moment.

But this has a lot to do with how I practice it. My snark and satire, when it’s not used for self-deprecating humor, is most targeted at authoritarians and their supporters. Writing merely factual pieces feels useless right now, and you can get news from other places than this blog. Writing satire and snark feels completely inadequate, since there appears to be nothing short of exploding a nuclear weapon on US territory that Trump and his supporters won’t do.

So, I haven’t been contributing much to FtB lately. But I have found a bit of humor that does make me feel better in this moment. it’s not by me, and I haven’t been able to trace the source yet, but I place it here for what enjoyment you might be able to take in this otherwise horrible and sad moment:

 

…an anarchist and her mom prepare for a protest…

Lifeless In Seattle: A totally real record of really real press conferences conducted by the Trump Administration

Day 1: We are sorry to report that the Chinese launched an ICBM whose nuclear warhead evaporated Seattle.

Day 2: Yes, we’ve also heard the rumors that Putin had instructed the FSB to ensure that Seattle would die “by nuclear fire”. This is categorically untrue.
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Thinking Forward to Sunday

So, PZ has planned a hangout for Patrons this Sunday where scientists will be talking about debunking pseudoscientific nonsense. Of course, this doesn’t come up out of nowhere, it’s obviously in response to the misinformation woo-peddlers and right-wingers spew generally and the misinformation that Trump is spewing about Coronvirus “cures” more specifically. All of which makes this meme not only funny, but tragically relevant to our current moment:

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Hand washing getting repetitive?

Now you have instant options! The website “Wash Your Lyrics” will generate a poster copied from the NHS but with the lyrics to the song of your choice – automatically, no typing of lyrics whatsoever. Input the song name and artist & away you go! My first creation was based on Bikini Kill’s Tony Randall, off the album Reject All American. This is how it came out:

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Whose Corona? (h/t Scandinavia and the World)

Well, SatW did a comic about getting this song stuck in their head during discussions of the coronavirus that causes COVID-19, so I decided to do up a full redo of the lyrics from scratch. For your listening pleasure(?):

Ooh, my little bitty one, from Wuhan
When you gonna give me some (time, Corona!)
Ooh, you make my nares run, my nares run
Got grit coming off of my (eyes, Corona!)
Never gonna stop, love queuing up, such a dirty line
Always reachin’ up, touching faces of the younger kind
My, my, my, ay, ay, woah!
M-m-m-my Corona!
My Corona!

Come a little closer, huh, ah, will ya, huh
Close enough to get in my eyes, Corona!
Novel viral mystery, you get to me
Hopping borders on air lines, Corona

Never gonna stop, love queuing up, such a dirty line
Always reachin’ up, touching faces of the younger kind
My, my, my, ay, ay, woah!
M-m-m-my Corona!
M-m-m-my Corona!

Na, na, na, na, na-na
My Corona!
When you gonna get to me? get to me?
Is it just a matter of (time, Corona)?
It is just a matter of (time, Corona)…
It is!

 

Random Nonsense I’ve Been Thinking & Writing

Something was going through my head reading about Mad Mike’s rocket crash, but after reading a commenter on Wonkette say that flat earthers should be banned from accessing satellite (including GPS) services and data, I was finally motivated to put my thought in words:

Technological estoppel

That should be a thing.

In other randomness, I’ve also recently been thinking

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