Alex Jones is hawking another book, this time, it’s ostensibly for the sproggen. The title is Thump: The First Bundred Days, By Timothy Lim, Mark Pellegrini, Brett R. Smith.
In the year 2016, with a hop, skip and jump,
A candidate stormed the stage: A bunny named Thump!
His goal is nothing less than to become President
And to make America great for each resident!
But his campaign trail is fraught with challenge and peril,
Attacked on all sides by fiends ferocious and feral!
There are traitors and crooks and old establishment guard
And rabid media watchdogs unchained from their yard!
Will the winningest of bunnies take his greatest stand
And find his way to the highest office in the land?
We won’t spoil it for you here, but you might have a guess…
Come join Thump and his party on the road to success!
It’s every bit as bad as you’d expect, with at least one surprising low. One thing is quite clear, they do not expect children or adults to actually have a working vocabulary; this is more “we can’t use the real words, but you know wot I mean, wink nudge.”
The book, called Thump: The First Bundred Days, was written by a group of co-authors including Brett R. Smith, the creative director of the Steve Bannon-backedClinton Cash: A Graphic Novel, and Timothy Lim, who has worked with Marvel, Lucasfilm, and Hasbro. The book is published by Post Hill Press, whose books are distributed by Simon and Schuster.
The online store of Jones’ conspiracy theory outlet Infowars is selling the book with an exclusive poster showing Jones and Thump and describes the product as “the perfect book for teaching your kids or reading through it for yourself!”
Jones hosted Smith for a promotional interview on January 3, and flipped through the book, revealing some of its disturbing content.
On one page that Jones showed, the text read, “Thump found friends in strange places and in all shapes and sizes. Such as the frogs that croaked ‘KEK!’ They were full of surprises!”
“Thump found friends in strange places and in all shapes and sizes, such as the frogs that croaked “KEK!” They were full of surprises!“Gosh, no nazism there, no. And isn’t that critter on the left stolen from whatshisface?
And then we have this…
Thump reads, “Thump was caught talking of grabbing all things pusillanimous. Protesters even made pink hats: their ire was unanimous.” Let’s have a look at vocabulary here:
Lacking courage and resolution: marked by contemptible timidity Syn: cowardly.
[Origin: Late Latin pusillanimis, from Latin pusillus very small (diminutive of pusus boy) + animus spirit; perhaps akin to Latin puer child.]
Hmm. Seems they only cared about a rhyme and at least the starting sound of pussy, and not the meaning of the word. It would be nice to think this was a deliberate swipe at the Tiny Tyrant, but I doubt that’s the case. I’m sure if the sprogs of Trumpholes ask as to the meaning of pusillanimous, they’ll be told a pretty lie, if the Trumpholes know what it means in the first place. I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets tangled up with pugilism in the Trumphole world.
You can read more about this travesty at MediaMatters.
chigau (違う) says
I hope they sent copies to Trump.
I’m sure he’ll like the pictures.
I hope someone sends him the poster, of him being petted by Jones.
Gah! The appalling attempt at scansion! It hurts my eyes!
Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk- says
I object to the abuse of bunnies.
W T F!
What a bizarre, warped, mess.
If this was intended for kids learning to read and indoctrinate them though I think its making a mistake because words like “”pusillanimous” rhyming(!?) with “unanimous” -- well, that’s not going to be easy for young readers to follow and, who knows, may even make them actually start to think critically!
It doesn’t really make sense even for adults does it? So much for the “plain-speakin” quality of Trumpian rhetoric huh?
If the kids do look up thewords in the dictionary and work out what these excerpts mean in clearer language, it amounts to : (As noted but with further deconstruction here.)
-- “Thump was caught talking of grabbing all things small spirited and cowardly.
So that means what? The votes of small minded deplorables? The cowardly fear of immigrants etc .. he whipped up and exploited?
-- Protesters even made pink hats: their ire was unanimous.”
So the protesters all agreed and were united (unaminous) in their ire (anger) which they displayed by wearing pink hats which means -- what? It is supposed to be somehow bad of the protesters to be angry and united that Thump is grabbing small-minded cowards / or women’s genitalia without their permission? What if anything wrong with them wearing pink hats? Do they have any further reference here that shows why the pink hatted protesters are meant to be (you’d guess?) a bad thing?
-- “Thump found friends in strange places and in all shapes and sizes, such as the frogs that croaked “KEK!” They were full of surprises!
“Surprises” like (alluded to by context -- which will date pretty quickly) nazism, nastiness, allusion to the very worst elements of behaviour and a murderous ideology that fought the USA and other Allied powers in WWII and justly lost that war after murdering millions of innocents and destroying most of Europe?
Is any of that supposed to make Thump look good? Or his kekkin’ “friends” look good?
You know I’m pretty sure most of us could write a better and more comprehensible, more logical, rhythmic and entertaining children’s book on the Trump campaign and its results -- and being fiction we could also give it a better ending with perhaps a moral or two and poetic justice at the end. Hmm …
(Love to see what the likes of The Digital Cuttlefish could do with this amongst others.)
Went to the Media Matter site.
First pages’ picture, introducing Mr Thump resting comfortably on the shoulder a buxom human lady (Melania? and I said shoulder, but I keep seeing him as if emerging from inside her shirt -- it’s the way his tie is set). Let’s not be subtle about Mr Thump luck with young human women, folks.
Next page a human “Mr Marlon Bundo Pence” fondling a rabbit (or maybe Pence is both the human and the rabbit -- who knows?).
Marlon Bundo Pence.
Just for this, the perpetrators of this … book … deserve oblivion.
It obviously goes downhill after page 1, but the starting point is already awful. I must be really lacking in humour. All I can see is soviet-grade personality cult.
I’m a fan of a webcomic by a Canadian author, “Manly guys doing manly things”. Her main male character is following the cult of Marlon Brando, as a macho man who managed to be a suave alpha male without overly dripping with testosterone.
(aside note: if you like Magikarp pokemon, this webcomic is worth a reading)
Your mileage may vary on this interpretation. But as it may be: Pence didn’t stuck me as the suave type, and as for testosterone poisoning, it’s overflowing to record levels with these guys.
(shorter version: “I knew Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando was my friend. You, sir…”)
About “And isn’t that critter on the left stolen from whatshisface?”
One commenter (@PeteRas592, on the 4th of January) tweeted the dog’s author to ask if this was indeed his dog. His answer: “I’m proud to say it is. Great book.”
Well, that clarifies plenty of stuff, for anyone who had any doubt. And I’m not talking about the dog.
I really, really hate to do this, Athaic, but the Pences do have a pet rabbit, and that is its actual name.
Then I was reading it wrong. Well, mostly wrong.
I actually feel better.
-- Claim that news outlets that don’t agree with them are part of an evil conspiracy
-- Produce ass-kissing propaganda for their viewers to use to indoctrinate children