“Red rover, red rover, call Milo over,”


C. Ford.

Elsewhere in the wilds of the Religious Reich, Lance Wallnau has put a claim on Milo Yiannopoulos. How sweet it would be, if it weren’t a match made in a nightmare. It will be interesting to see if  Milo claws desperately onto to this, to try and once again claim his place as king of the shitlords or summat. I don’t see this as being a particularly comfortable union, but Wallnau has gone full court daft in his attempts to paint the rise of a great and wondrous theocracy, and Milo is, if anything, an opportunist. Considering Wallnau’s hatred of all queerness, I wonder if this can be taken as yet another sign of the desperation infesting the Religious Reich.

Last week, right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau appeared on the Charisma podcast with Steve Strang, where he claimed Alt-Right troll Milo Yiannopoulos for Jesus Christ and prophesied that he will one day be leading revivals on college campuses.

Wallnau said that he began listening to Yiannopoulos in the wake of the controversy regarding his comments condoning  pederasty and found him to be a brave truth-teller who “is exposing the tyranny and fascist spirit behind the progressive left.” Yiannopoulos is like “a prophetic fencer just scoring point after point,” Wallnau said, which is why the left is out to destroy him.

Uh, no, Lance.  As per usual, any destruction Milo suffered was a direct result of his own actions. I’m afraid the reasons to dislike Yiannopoulos are numerous – he’s a repugnant asshole who will do and say absolutely anything in order to gain attention. Yet another person with arrested development, much like the Tiny Tyrant. I can’t speak for the whole left, but this small slice of it has better things to do than plot ways to ‘destroy’ him.

But the left will not destroy him, Wallnau predicted, because Yiannopoulos is going to undergo a radical religious conversion and lead an army of millennial prophets who will take on the left.

Oh, well, this ought to be good. It will be like Marjoe Gortner all over again, with glitter!

“I’m claiming Milo in the name of Jesus for the Kingdom of God,” Wallnau declared. “Just like [Donald] Trump was an unlikely candidate for us as a deliverer in the presidency … God hid himself in Trump, I think God is hiding himself in Milo and I’m calling him out in Jesus’ name to salvation.”

That god of yours has been hiding for millenia, and now it has decided to hang out in the bowels of Trump & Yiannopoulos? Eeuuurgh.

“Red rover, red rover, call Milo over,” he continued. “The church doesn’t want people like him, but God wants him in the church. Father, we call for Milo in Jesus’ name. We call, Lord, that You will break every cycle of destruction, every spirit that is assigned to him to destroy, distort, to wound and to lock him up. We pray for shafts of light to come from heaven into his heart, divine encounters with the Gospel in unique and unusual ways, we pray for Jesus to be made manifest in his dreams.”

Red … rov oh gasp hahahahahahahahahaha…hahahahaha. Hee. :falls over laughing: Oh you have got to be kiddihahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Red fucking Rover? How can anyone take these clowns seriously? Yeah, fuck the rest of the prayer or whatever it is, I’m not getting past the Red Rover business.

Wallnau said that Yiannopoulos will be part of an “army of millennial young prophets who will expose the enemy” and prophesied that “Milo is going to be doing campus revivals in the future.”

If nothing else, that should be entertaining. Are you going to make Minister Milo shed his pearls? Via RWW.


  1. says

    “…which is why the left is out to destroy him.”

    Um, Mr. Wallnau. I hate to break it to you, but as much as we tried it wasn’t the left who finally brought Milo down. It was the right.

  2. chigau (違う) says

    I remember playing Red Rover.
    Sometimes kids had to go see the nurse after recess.

  3. rq says

    I see my concerns in the Gulliver post have been addressed over here…
    Anyway, Milo can get a few pointers from St Teresa of Avila on how to handle Jesus’ spear piercing… I mean, those shafts of light from Heaven.

    There’s a reason they banned it in schoolyards, yep.

  4. Ice Swimmer says

    Mr Y-poulos and Mr Wallnau, I can’t.

    I must say this red rover thing was news to me. Back when I was a kid, king of the hill, played on a pile of snow was the usual forbidden game.

  5. Tethys says

    I had forgotten about Red Rover in elementary school. It used the rhyme, but we aptly called it murderball. I always wondered if the red part was from the color of those rubber balls, or the bloodied children? I was the smallest person in my class until junior high, and got pretty adept at evading being hit. It hurt like being slapped, and even though they weren’t supposed to aim at the head, it seemed those games always ended with at least one child going to the nurses office with a bloody face.

  6. says

    There was no ball in the version I played, but kids really tried to break the chain -- I got tossed more than once!

  7. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin says a version she is familiar with is played by one penguin. There are two common strategies: One is to stand still until you fall over. You loose. The other is to run around until you fall over. And loose. A rare alternative is to set off the local volcano and wipe out the island. This is apparently a winning strategy, unless you are Walrused. I’m not quite sure what she means by that, as she then started explaining an alternative version involving icebergs and ships…

  8. rq says

    Dodgeball was the one with the ball, and it hurt, too. Since I couldn’t (still can’t) throw, I tried to dodge more, with varying success.
    Red Rover was a somersault risk (and I’m pretty sure, too, that it’s still played, but it has since been banned in the schoolyards of my childhood because of the high rate of injury), and then there was Crack-the-Whip which, according to my mum, had to be played on skates for authenticity.

  9. Tethys says

    Clearly my school was strange, or maybe murderball was what they came up with after Red Rover was banned. We didn’t do the chain thing, but one side would call a person to come over and then they got blasted with the red rubber balls as they attempted to make it across the blue line on the gym floor. Dodgeball was both teams blasting each other with the red balls until only one person remained. Kids cracking their heads together as they tried to evade being hit caused more injuries than being smacked in the face with a ball. We also played Duck, Duck, Grey Duck, rather than Duck, Duck, Goose.

  10. chigau (違う) says

    So what is it about pre-high-school gym that attracts outright sadists to be teachers?

  11. rq says

    I had not heard of murderball, I thought you were talking about regular ol’ dodgeball!
    How does Duck,Duck,GreyDuck differ from Duck,Duck,Goose?

  12. blf says

    Murderball is also the original name for what is now known as Wheelchair Rugby or Quads Rugby.

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