This week we have a walnut tree at sundown, sent to us by Avalus. The evening sky in the photos is big and dramatic and the setting sun blazes through the heart of the tree. Brilliant. Thanks for sharing, Avalus.
This week we have a walnut tree at sundown, sent to us by Avalus. The evening sky in the photos is big and dramatic and the setting sun blazes through the heart of the tree. Brilliant. Thanks for sharing, Avalus.
Obligatory #not all parents, but if you’re one of those I don’t hate, we probably hate the same people.
I basically have two types of special needs kids: kids with learning difficulties and kids with socio-emotional difficulties. The later group can basically be divided into three groups: kids whose issues stem from their environment and past, kids whose issues are medical (ADHS, autism spectrum, …) and both. Which is why I hate parents.
With this new system of inclusive teaching we can do a lot for these kids. We can give them leeway in a way that wasn’t possible, often with me acting as a calming influence, taking them out of the context that is causing the conflict, spending the time somewhere else. Some kids write their tests alone with me in a room because for them it’s important to keep talking. That way they don’t disturb their classmates and don’t have to waste their energy on keeping quiet.
Those things are great, but they are only ONE part of a complex issue. I am not a psychiatrist, I cannot prescribe drugs. I’m not a therapist, I cannot do behavioural therapies or talk therapies or whatever*. And most importantly, I cannot change their homes. Some parents will simply refuse to see how big their kid’s issues are. We’ve got one mother who is convinced that her son is a little genius. He scored 122 points in one subtest of an IQ test! Sure, he refused the parts where he was expecting to perform poorly, and even if you believe in IQ tests, 122 isn’t exactly a genius, especially not when it’s that one peak. She therefore firmly believes that her son isn’t actually a kid with the emotional development of a three year old who is still suffering from the abuse that happened to him as a three year old. Her son is just way too smart for us and plays with us. She also believes that she can tell us how to run the school. Charming.
Another mother’s hobby is to threaten the teacher, because her darling innocent boy whom I saw chasing another kid through the school building and had to physically prevent from hurting that kid badly is being unfairly picked on.
And then there are the ones who simply don’t care. You implement checklists, systems with rewards, you write into their homework notebooks like every day and they will simply ignore it. The kid hasn’t had a pen to write with for 3 weeks? Who cares?**
All of this makes me very angry. Not because it’s exhausting to deal with those kids. It is, but I get paid for it and in the afternoon I go home. I’m angry because when those kids go home nothing has changed for them. Their chances are getting smaller with every day they’re not getting the support they need and that their parents are denying them, and our hands are bound because without the parents we can’t even get the school psychologist to talk to the kid. And it makes me even more angry when I see how their peers are doing who are getting that support. Surprisingly, often those kids do best who are in group homes because their responsible adults can deal with all of that without having their own lives and decisions challenged. I just wished that parents would leave their own vanity at the door and work for the good of their kids as well.
*Though a big part is actually listening.
**Yes, I know many parents in our school are poor. But just giving the kid a bottle of water to drink instead of a soda would both free enough money for a dozen pens a month and do the kid some good.
Today is Thanksgiving in Canada and our version of the holiday is a mix of harvest celebration, family get-together and time to count your blessings. We usually eat too much and grumble at how early the Christmas Season starts. There will be talk of Halloween and lots of remember whens and someone will tell the story of Dad and the whipped cream. There will be turkey and ham, squash and fresh green beans, apple and pumpkin pie and we don’t forget the cream, iced or whipped take your pick. Some of us will spend time outdoors going for walks and putting up Christmas decorations and most of us will spend a few minutes counting our blessings.
I have many blessings and I try to count them every day, but this year I have a whole new set of blessings to count and that is all of you. I feel very privileged to be a part of this community. You have all welcomed me during a very difficult time for this blog and your support means a lot to me. I’ve made friendships here with people from all over the world and although I will probably never get to meet any of you in person I value our friendship a great deal. So on this Canadian Thanksgiving Day I am thankful for you.
Not our affinity Charly, but our friends’ very good old boy, who is definitely related to a certain oversized squirrel:
We went for a walk through the woods to the “hunting palace” of a Swedish king who once ruled these regions. Part of it is a restaurant today, part of it is a ruin.
We’ve been on a roll here lately with spiders and Nightjar has sent us one more. This incredible set of photos showcases a spider preparing a meal. Photos are below the fold. Thanks for sharing, Nightjar.
I feel slightly guilty about what’s going on in these photos. I had seen a honeybee on our goldenrod and approached carefully with the camera. When I got there the bee flew away… and straight into an orb weaver’s web! The spider was very quick to wrap up the bee (1st picture) and to carry it along a thin strand of silk (2nd picture) into its hiding place among some dried chayote leaves (3rd picture). Fascinating to watch, but I couldn’t help feeling bad for the poor honeybee, it looked so pretty on the goldenrod… Oh well. [Read more…]
The last flowers around the house…
Raccoons are very cute, but also an invasive species, which is why I like them best in zoos.
The next animal is just pretty, though a serious mistake by nature because the poor animal is usually only lean enough to hunt when almost starved and then their prey gets stolen by others. Why, nature, why?
And now from pretty to drop dead gorgeous…
As readers of Affinity know, I was growing up until 13 years of age in a totalitarian state with little real autonomy, an effective satellite of USSR. I also grew up in a poor family so it was a bit of an uphill financial struggle for me to get a university education.
Towards the end of my education I had to decide how to actually start my independence and one of the options that presented themselves in 2000 was to go to USA with a “Work And Travel” program and J1 visa. I might write about my American adventure maybe some more later, today I wish to only briefly discuss the question in the title, which in various forms was posited to me in later years from many people here, old as well as young.
Even before venturing to USA I was of the opinion that it is a proto-fascist state and my opinion was further solidified by my experiences there.
So my answers at that time were these four points:
And mind you, this all was in 2000. The only progress that I see from behind the Atlantic was on health care, everything else got much worse since then. And it seems that USA is managing to drag back the rest of the world as well – in last decade or so the main American exports are jingoism and creationism.
The USA was never democracy and never free. It only managed to convince its enslaved citizens that they are free. I am entirely content with my decision to not even try to live there permanently.
I have been wondering about who’s eating the beech leaves in the front yard and last week I found the culprits: Sawfly larvae.
Not that I mind, I don’t want a beech tree in front of the house so any help in keeping it small is appreciated. Though in these pictures they’re devouring the redflower currant, which I don’t appreciate that much.
There’s hardly a zoo without a population of small feral cats, this one was no exception.
