Auction #8 for Freethought Blogs Legal Defense Fund

This for the FtB legal defense fund. See [go fund me] for details. Rules are below:

AUCTION CLOSED – $251 to the anonymous bidder. I will post a final picture of the build once I finish the knife.

And now, for something a bit different:

mini demon slojd

This is a semi-custom auction. That’s the blade. The winner gets to specify the handle material, shape, bolster(s), etc. Have you always been hankering for a rosewood-handled stabby thing with ebony bolsters? I can do that. I’m not going to publish a detailed set of rules, just be reasonable and I’ll make what you want. The blade’s not going to change, though – it’s sweet and strong and sharp as it is, and all it needs is some fine polishing and a handle and it’s ready to cut the hearts out of artichokes or whatever your black, evil mind desires. It’s a bit small and thin for “tactical” use so do not plan to use this as a murder weapon; combat knives need a big thick tang and back so they don’t flex, and a heavy handle that can handle the weight of a corpse. If you’re thinking of murdering a fish, though, this’d be pretty good for that.

Specs: it’s a slojd-shaped and flat-ground 4″ blade of my own-made 1095 and 15N20 low layer-count twist damascus. In my opinion, the grind I did on the flats is exceptionally lovely, if I say so myself. When I forged it out (with my hammer and muscles!) I happened to place one of the twists in the bar in the center of the blade, which is why it has that cool blobby pattern in the middle. You may also enjoy the way that the layering deforms in line with the tip, from where I drew the steel out with lots of loving little taps of my hammer and plenty of cussing.

In the picture above, the pattern does not show properly down by the heel of the blade; that’s because there was some WD40 on it when I dunked it in my ferric chloride. Don’t worry, there are patterns galore everywhere on this blade.

The tip is not needle-like, yet, because I still have to handle the damn thing and I do not want it to go straight through me if it catches on a belt. I’d rather have it hang partway through so the folks at the emergency room know how stubborn I am.


You can bid in the comments, or bid by emailing me [link]. If you email, I will assume that you wish to remain anonymous and will post a comment in the bidding section that reads: “Anonymous bid in the amount of $___”

Whoever bids the most for the commission wins it for $1 more than the second highest bidder bid. For example, if I bid $75 and Joe bids $5 and I’m the highest bidder, that makes Joe the second highest bidder, and I win the thing for $6. This is a variation of the Ebay bidding algorithm and, while it is less effective at milking money from the bidders, it discourages people from feeling that they need to log in at the last minute and try to bid over someone else. At the time when bidding closes, whichever bid is the highest, whether it’s email or a comment, wins.

The winner is expected to donate the agreed-upon amount to the defense fund and send me suitable proof (a screenshot or whatever) and give me a shipping address, and we can talk and figure out what you want. Then, I’ll make it (eventually) and polish it up and photograph it and stick it in a box and send it your way. Some limitations apply: I will not make a handle out of pure silver or precious material; I do not want to work with bone, stone, fossil, or leather – they stink ungodly fierce when you put them on a belt grinder. I reserve the right to say “no” to your suggestions and refund your money. In the event that something horrible happens during production (e.g: the blade flies across the room and explodes against a cinderblock wall, or embeds itself permanently in my head) I will refund you money with apologies, or maybe make another blade.

Since we don’t have an automated bidding system like Ebay, I’d like to discourage “auction sniping.” If you want the thing, bid what you’re willing to pay for it and just see what happens. If you simply must have it, bid $1million for it and if the second highest bidder bids $50, it’s yours for $51.

If you do not win, you owe nothing!


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My comment settings require manual approval for the first comment from a person. If you comment and don’t see it, I’ll get it, fear not. If you email me and do not get an acknowledgement, and you are gmail user, check your spam box. Google’s spam algorithms don’t like me for reasons I have never cared to figure out.


  1. kestrel says

    I don’t see a bid yet… which of course does not mean there isn’t one. Still, just in case there is no bid yet, I’ll start it all off with $50.00. That is a really beautiful piece of steel. I plan to murder the approx. 15 million plums I picked yesterday, should I be so lucky as to win.

  2. bowdsquared says

    Since the actual winner is a $1 more than the second highest bid I will bid $150 to keep Pete honest. :-)

  3. hoku says

    Is this a stabby thing or a slashy thing? If it’s the latter I’ll go $220. If it’s the former, make it $219.

  4. DonDueed says

    Well, before I saw the other bids I was going to offer $111 (in honor of Bilbo Baggins). Since that won’t cut it (heh), I’ll just donate that directly to the defense fund.

  5. Ketil Tveiten says

    I only now noticed I’d (possibly, depending on thing-ness) been preemptively outbid. I’ll raise my bid to 225$ to save Marcus the trouble of deciding whether this is a slashy thing or a stabby thing.

  6. says

    Administrative note: I am going to be out of the office thursday afternoon, all day friday, and saturday morning. I will not be checking my email and will sort out who’s got the highest bid when I get home saturday.

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