This less-than-lethal tactical tool is made of solid polyurethane resin, suitable for a lifetime of hard use situations.
Break the mold. With your fist.
This item is in need of a home. Usually when I make stuff like this it winds up on a shelf. Anyone want it?
Part of the paranoia that I see in various “tactical” products is an outgrowth of xenophobia and toxic masculinity. After all, an aluminum-bodied flashlight is just a flashlight; it’s only “tactical” if it’s junked-up to look intimidating. Part of the semiotic landscape of toxic masculinity is the black armor of Sauron, the SS uniform, the embroidered skulls that announce “we are the baddies” (per Mitchell and Webb) – Darth Vader wears black and the awkward and useless stumble-bum clone troopers wear white.
It seems to me as though the “tactical” folks are an incoherent mix of fears and aggressions that they, themselves, don’t understand. I’ll mention one thing, though: a lot of “home defense” products are oriented toward the idea that some unidentified other is going to launch a home invasion attack that requires maximum aggression to counter. The vague threat of home invasion was one aspect of American frontier masculinity – in spite of the reality that it was native American’s homes that were being invaded, American settlers established the excuse that “indians attacked” which they could trot out whenever they wanted to go on a rampage of ethnic cleansing. We cannot ignore white southerners’ fondness for the “black men raping white women” trope, either – what else did they need all those guns for, unless it was to put down the occasional slave revolt?
I’d send it to my sister. It’s too horrendously tactically pink for me. :D
Also needs more bling.
Awesome shout out to Mitchell and Webb. I so miss their skits. My favorite ones are the EVIL GENIUS ones!
I can’t lie.
I would love to have the pink knuckles.
That. Is. Awesome! Why, yes, please. I would buy that.
That’s even better than the gummy-knuckles.
Actually after your previous post it ocurred to me that you could market brass knuckles – or tactical nonbrass knuckles – as manly kitchen utensils: Real men don’t mash potatoes, they beat them to a pulp! Smashed potates make a fine and manly side dish to go with strips of raw meat ripped from the still-warm carcass of a woolly mammoth or, in a pinch, grizzly bear.
That said, I’m sure in the vast desolation of the internet you could find some tactical sphincters only too happy to “ironically” beat people up with things like the above, more so because don’t fit the usual tactical/skull design patterns. Because its “funny” or “to trigger someone” or some bullshit like that.
I’ve long noted that anything cited as “tactical” have an additional 25% mark up.
Also fun to watch people who have lots of “tactical” gear lose things. Drop a normal, non tactical, flashlight and you bend down and pick it up. The guy with the camo flashlight is in far more trouble. I never understood the need to make things hard to see. Some things need to be easy to see. Like … I don’t know … perhaps a flashlight … when you are most likely to need it, when it’s dark.
I spent a couple of hours, starting at dusk, in a forest feeling around the leaf covered forest floor for a friend’s wallet. Silly bastard bought the ‘tacticool’ camouflage model. When we got out of the forest I suggested a nice bright orange one.
Pro tip: If you work in attics and other dark places put some luminescent tape on your tools. When you lose a tool pan the area slowly with your light. Then turn the light off. The luminescent tape will glow and show up clearly in the dark.
Needs some sequins.
And a rainbow ribbon.
My girlfriend would love it, though it’s prohibited around here :\
Maybe i should make a sparkly one for her?
Given the title, I Googled ‘tactical bra’.
(Yup, there they are; no, I have not Googled ‘tactical tampon’)
Well, it looks like I have a “hit” product on my hands!
I didn’t make the pom/puff, that was sourced on ebay. I’m going to source a few more and do a limited edition run of 3 or 4 of the things.
Tabby Lavalamp, if you want the Original(tm) One-and-only(r) Prototype, I will contact you for a mailing address.
9) @ dangerousbeans:
You’re prohibited from having silicone not-brass knuckles? How exactly does the law on that read? “No one shall possess any items of any substance, excluding woolen gloves, that fit over two or more of a person’s fingers at once.”
Most of my camping tools have lanyards made from fluorescent pink cord for exactly this reason. Also, my folding pruning saw is the version with the orange handle, not the green one.
Marcus, yay!
How did you want to contact me?
This sort of thing needs an overarching descriptive name. Untactical? Antitactical? Dystactical? Intactical!
@Tabby Lavalamp – I emailed you, but my emails are often scored as spam because my hosting company apparently hosts spammers. If you haven’t gotten an email from me look in your spam bucket for mjr@ranum.com and you will find a generous offer for p8nis enah8chment!
Done! I’m looking forward to the pink knucks and the stolen identity!
@ ridana
the exact wording is:
Knuckleduster, being a device or instrument designed or adapted to be worn across a
knuckle or knuckles of the hand, finger, fingers or thumb so as to:
a) increase the force or impact of a punch or blow when striking another person
with that hand, finger, fingers or thumb; or
b) protect the knuckle or knuckles from injury when striking another person with
that hand, finger, fingers or thumb.
I don’t know if that covers polyurethane, and I doubt the cops do either, but i’m sure that won’t stop them confiscating it and fining you >_>
Ironically it does cover some of my motorcycle gloves too
abbeycadabra
Tactless.
Not to get too far off topic, but notice how an innocuous device like this violates the law in probably more than one state. The same with knives over a certain length, nunchuks, and similar items.
However, guns….really, truly dangerous weapons, MUST NOT BE REGULATED!! Because, freedumb.
:/
Crimson Clupeidae@#20:
Not to get too far off topic, but notice how an innocuous device like this violates the law in probably more than one state.
Yeah. I am not sure I want to explain to some state trooper that “the law says brass and these are plastic.”
They try to make the laws open enough to interpretation that you can say something like this is “brass knuckles” but any kind of “inertially enhanced linear impact generator” is hard to distinguish from a hammer. I can “open carry” my 2lb wrought iron forging hammer.
The laws are really dumb. But look who writes them. Fans of resin knuckles aren’t likely to chip in and buy a congressperson or two.