I’d Rather Just Use My SUV

My spam-inbox is a microcosm of American fear and delusion. And tactical stuff. My spam-inbox is very, very tactical.

That is not the perfect defensive tool for a woman. That looks like enough blade to give someone a severe flesh-wound that gets you beaten to death.

First off, it’s “tactical” as hell: black, jaggedy, ugly “wicked” etc. But why – if it’s intended for righteous self-defense – is it touted as facilitating a criminal activity (namely, concealed carry through a metal detector)? Is this designed so that someone can get on an airplane, cut the flight crew’s throats, and fly the plane into a building? Something like that?

My spam-inbox has become a portal into the fetid cancerous growths in the bottom of the American psyche; a sort of social colonoscopy if you will. We see the true America – as it wants to see itself – tactical, wicked, and fucking stupid.

What American women spend a lot of time in severe environments that might cause them to rust, warp, or split?

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Never mind the whole “for women” bit. I don’t think I can say anything about that without my keyboard exploding. This is how this stuff makes me feel.


  1. dashdsrdash says

    “Kray-Ex (TM)”. I believe that’s supposed to connote “crazy ex-“.

    Here’s my theory: there is no product. This is a political opinion-influencer trying to advance an MRA/incel agenda by convincing recipients that women are looking for and have ready access to these tools, which they are going to use to commit violence.

    It’s even possible that this was sent by a true believer who wants to collect statistics or identifying information on these dangerous women.

  2. dashdsrdash says

    Huh. Apparently Kray-Ex is the variant of Kraton that Cold Steel now uses, and Griv-Ex is the variant of glass-filled nylon.

    I haven’t bought anything from them since the mid-90s, when one of their molded pocket clips shattered while clipped to my pocket.

  3. ridana says

    Why does the header end in a question mark? Is it possibly not FREE? Is there uncertainty about if it’s FREE today, or only today? Are they not really sure if it’s completely undetectable?

    And what is that ellipsis hiding? It is some sort of prompt to think about the nature of FREEdom or time? Or the unfettering of your imagination, like the one after where you might need to use this, or the one after “concealed storage”? So, so much left unsaid in this ad.

  4. Dunc says

    Knives are worse than useless for self-defence, unless you’re pretty highly trained. Start waving a knife around in a fight and somebody’s going to get cut, but there’s really no telling who.

  5. lorn says

    Given the materials, likely similar to glass-filled nylon, calling this a knife is a bit of a stretch. If it is sharp enough to cut at all it likely won’t stay that way for long. Edge holding is typically not the materials strong point. I would classify this as a dagger.

    If you limit your use to two or three motion attacks and are looking to solve a life-or-death issue that way this is not your best choice. Get a real knife. This is, to my way of thinking, somewhere between a knife and a shiv. The key to using a shiv is to use surprise to get close enough to attack vital areas and many forceful stabbing motions to the select vital area. The common references is to a sewing machine. Twenty or more thrusts into one tight area.

    A couple of dozen vicious stabs into the groin, belly, kidney, armpit, neck, or eyes tends to dull the enthusiasm of any but the most insensitive attackers but you cannot settle for half measures. As noted, any small number of stabs, or using less than maximum force, is more likely to antagonize than deter.

    Think of this weapon as a pretty good shiv, an expedient weapon, and you know how to use it. It is a big step up from a toothbrush with the end of the handle sharpened. Or the top of a #10 can folded into a point and wrapped in tape. And at least as good as a sharpened screwdriver.

    That said, if you take this unit into places that object to regular knives, like the local courthouse or on a commercial airliner, they are going to take it personally. Expect jail time.

    If someone gives you one of these units my advice is to limit it to letter opening duties.

    Note: I have never been incarcerated. I’ve worked as a tradesman at a couple of local jails and other than a couple of lessons in use of knives and expedient weapons with the army I have had little interest in the subject.

  6. kestrel says

    These are some good rape prevention tips, best I’ve seen: https://canyourelate.org/2011/05/24/rape-prevention-tips/

    I carry a pocket knife to cut open bales of hay or do some other small task, not because I think it’s a great self-defence tool. In fact I don’t go around worrying about someone attacking me, and even if that should happen, I highly doubt I’d ever even consider whipping out my pocket knife. Good grief.

  7. Pierce R. Butler says

    What American women spend a lot of time in severe environments that might cause them to rust, warp, or split?

    Only the ones who work in kitchens.

  8. chigau (違う) says

    I really meant about slicing cheese.
    That other thing has nothing to do with knives.

  9. says

    I ordered one of these amazing knives. I’m going to do some cutting tests against one of my other knives. For science!

    Well then, was the knife really free as advertised? Or did you have to pay some money? Or maybe they got something else out of you (like an address where to send further spam)?

    I’m asking, because usually, whenever some spammer offers me free stuff, it isn’t really free. Last time I got such an offer, the spammer who called me offered free samples of alternative medicine/food supplements. Of course, the samples were supposedly for free. A moment later it turned out that this shit wasn’t exactly free, because I would have to pay the shipping costs. And those seemed suspiciously high, higher than what shipping usually costs. I’m not sure how much exactly they overcharged for shipping, nor do I know the value of that crap they offered. Thus I cannot know whether they were making a profit by sending people “free samples.” But I assume that they weren’t loosing money by giving away “free” stuff.

  10. says

    Ieva Skrebele@#19:
    Well then, was the knife really free as advertised? Or did you have to pay some money? Or maybe they got something else out of you (like an address where to send further spam)?

    It was a lie, of course. We are expected to pay shipping and handling – a paltry $7. Which means that the knife is worth at least $3!

    And they get a customer list, which they can/will sell, which means I will get more cool tactical spam to share with you all.