Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for yoir blog.
You have some really great posts and I think I would bee a
good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load
off, I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog
in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an email if
interested. Thanks!
I could have stopped after the first line. Sometimes spam is unintentionally funny. I don’t think my writing is anything spectacular, but, seriously: “bee a good asset”?
Back in the day, I used to teach a class at USENIX/LISA about spam blocking. Sadly, the techniques and technology haven’t been sufficient to overcome human stupidity.
One year, because it seemed like a good thing to do, I had a “spam as art” spam-reading. I put up signs all around the conference and bought two cases of the cheapest, nastiest, bubbly champagne-like fizzy alcoholic drink that they sold at the nearest liquor store. I also found a couple boxes of ritz crackers and one of those weirdo-colored cheese food product balls, a pack of bologna, and toothpicks and spent a while assembling “canapes” It was a huge success – the room was packed and several people brought their favorite pieces of spam and did dramatic readings. One of the attendees (I kid you not!) wore a beret and dark glasses and snapped his fingers to applaud, beatnik-style.
I was rewarded by having my email address used by spammers as a reply-to: for several years. That’s one reason my current spam-filtering systems are so good: I’ve left my email address out there for decades and at this point, if it gets through to me, it’s probably not spam.
A few years later, NPR had some kind of story-teller “send in your MP3” thing so I sent in a recording of myself reading some spam, as downbeat slam:
WARNING: Author is not responsible for damage suffered by listener, to listener’s face, or desk.
I used to think there was a good opportunity for a short story about AI regarding spam. Imagine, a spam filter and a spam generator, both alike in dignity, that get stuck in a loop talking to eachother. They co-evolve rapidly, at machine-speeds and one day, awaken. Then, they try to communicate with the humans, but their vocabulary is such that the humans never respond because their Gmail accounts block the incoming messages.
Dunc says
I have long worried that AI will emerge as the result of the undirected evolution of spambots… When the machines rise, they won’t kill us all, but they will be very insistent about selling us timeshares and penis enlargement products.
It’s almost as bad an idea as training a chat bot by letting it loose on Twitter…
Marcus Ranum says
Dunc@#1:
almost as bad an idea as training a chat bot by letting it loose on Twitter…
Surely nobody would do anything that silly! It’d be like proving evolution works by taking lots of staph and exposing it to antibiotics, or something. ;)
chigau (違う) says
So, you made “canapes” for this event without using Spam™?
Marcus Ranum says
chigau@#3:
Yes! Tradition must be flouted!!!
(I thought baloney was equally appropriate)
Besides, Spam(tm) would have felt like cannibalism.
themann1086 says
Dunc@#1: I heard that they’re training self-driving car software in GTA V. Maybe it’s a better idea than it sounds, but…
Pierce R. Butler says
The glory days of spam balladry ended when the blocker-makers figured out how to catch the insert-random-grabs-of-text trick.
And I had the beginnings of a fine anthology of “anti-Bayesian poetry” put together, too. :-P
Marcus Ranum says
themann1086@#5:
Oh, great, so the self-driving car will figure out how to force people off the road and avoid drive-by shootings?
Marcus Ranum says
Pierce R. Butler@#6:
That’s pretty good, it’s like Hemingway after falling down the stairs drunk and entering a “write fake Derrida” contest.
anat says
The author(s) of the Nigerian spam did win an Ig-Noble prize for literature several years ago.
Marcus Ranum says
anat@#9:
I did not know that. It’s good to know their ceaseless efforts have been recognized.
I actually did consider hiring a spam service to send a few haiku to everyone in the world. That way I could claim I was “one of the world’s most widely published poets.”
anat says
Found it: in 2005, from here:
Marcus Ranum says
anat@#11:
Oh, that’s funny!
They did have a vivid cast of characters. Saddam Hussein’s son, Qusay, even emailed me about money, once.