I’ve gotten so weary over the years about the pervasive nonsense people hold in their heads about bisexuals, I gave up trying to talk sense about it. That was wrong, and I’ve been reminded that said nonsense still holds sway, and if things are ever going to get better for bisexual people, everyone has to get a good handle on the reality, and keep on speaking up. I’ve had a woman say to me “stay the hell away from my husband!…and me too!” and a man say to me “stay the hell away from my wife!” even though I’m very long time married , and happily so. I have no interest in someone else’s spouse because I’m not interested in cheating, it doesn’t have anything to do with me being bi. It has more to do with me disliking any relationship in which a person will be hurt. After a while, such things didn’t even elicit an eyeroll, just a small sigh. Then I stopped talking about it, or mentioning it at all. Bisexual people still remain invisible, and often when we are visible, it’s simply to be scoffed at by someone or other. I think I can do better, and I think most other people can do better, too.
Eliel Cruz has a good article up at The Advocate, addressing the top problematic societal beliefs and behaviour regarding bisexual people.
So here we are in the supposedly enlightened year of 2016, and yet, biphobia persists. In no particular order, here are a few of the most tiresome lies society really needs to stop telling about bisexual people.
1. Bisexuals don’t exist.
This is the first and most pervasive lie about bisexuality. Some people simply can’t fathom a sexuality in which individuals are attracted to more than one gender. You can test the waters, but you eventually must pick a side, the thinking goes. But bisexuals don’t need science — or the approval of those attracted to only one gender — to prove that they exist.2. Bisexuals are just going through a phase.
Yes, it’s true that plenty of gays and lesbians used bisexuality as a way to soften the blow of coming out to conservative parents. Many may even have identified as bi for a time while they were still making sense of their own orientation. And while coming out is an intensely personal decision, the strategies of some should not invalidate the identities of the majority, for whom bisexuality wasn’t a “stepping stone” but the final, concrete destination.