The whole process is annoying and meant to be humiliating, and generally speaking, those who get to undergo this nonsense aren’t exactly getting the great stuff, med-wise. Anyway, what with all the holiday stuff happening right at the time of my last appt., my PMP forgot to get a test from me, so tomorrow is my first time being placed squarely under the federal thumb of drug paranoia. Oh what fun. I loathe the idiotic drug laws in this country.
My last appointment at the pain clinic was in December. At that time, I was assigned a PMP, had a contract shoved at me and told that it was a no choice sign – either I agreed, or no more meds for you. Thanks to the insanity of federal drug laws here in uStates, the contract stipulates that the patient agrees to random drug testing, urine, hair, or blood, and being pulled in for random pill counts as well. The tests are not only for illicit drug use (because fuck knows, you wouldn’t want someone in chronic pain smoking weed now and then or anything, why it might help!), but a check on whether or not you are taking the correct amount of your prescribed meds. There are a wealth of problems with this, of course. A lot of people test negative for their particular meds, there are a host of known false positives, and gods forbid you take something prescribed by a different doctor – that’s a serious no. If you don’t test positive for the amount they think your sample should show, you can be placed under suspicion of dealing drugs to the ever friendly DEA.