Fail Hard


When you screw up, screw up with style and try not to bleed too much.

I should have watched more videos of wood lathe operators, and thought a little bit harder. What I did, was put the lathe in the same place my old lathe (which did not function) had been sitting for years. But, because the old lathe did not function, I did not get to discover I had positioned it too close to the wall.

I also didn’t think it through enough to realize that the head is designed for larger objects on the left side: you have a taller rest-post and lots more room, but you come at it from the other direction. Which means that the lathe should have been positioned at right angles to the wall – it’s not as though I don’t have enough space – and it’d be better anyway since if something escapes the machine, it’ll go trundling off down the hallway instead of hitting the blackboard and splashing back at me.

“Well, duh!” thinks I, “I will just unbolt the thing and rotate it!”

There are 1/2″ tapcon concrete screws 4″ into the floor. I know, because I drilled them in, myself. What I forgot was that I used polyurethane epoxy as a lubricant while I was putting those screws in.

You know the term “half-assed”? My and my friend Mike always do things “double assed.”

Go ahead and laugh at my pain. I do, and it’s funny.

The thing about Tapcon screws is that the blades of the thread are broken, intermittently, so that they bite into the concrete independently. That also gives them a lot more surface area for the epoxy to grab onto. So I took a 1/2″ breaker bar, slipped a 4-foot black iron pipe over the handle, and broke the breaker bar. I guess that’s why they call it that.

It’s not really a bad problem, it’s just cause for some cursing – I’ll bring in a couple angle grinders and put my earmuffs and face shield on and remove the screw heads completely, rotate the lathe, and then polish the stubs level with the concrete.

I was so pleased with how the lathe didn’t vibrate at all.

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I’ll probably scratch the mounting brackets up a bit but if I grind one completely off I’ll just make another one and weld it right back on. It’s so nice to have all the tools.

Before I start throwing sparks with the angle grinders I’ll vacuum the area up carefully – a hot steel spark landing in a bunch of lathe shavings could smoulder for a long time.

Comments

  1. lochaber says

    huh, I’m impressed.

    I’ve used some iron pipe as a breaker bar a few times, and I tend to joke that the head of that bolt WILL turn, it just might end up turning independently from the threads…

    Having worked in a few older, multiply repurposed areas, bolts in concrete ground down to floor level is some sort of tradition.

  2. sonofrojblake says

    At the chemical plant I just stopped working at the floor in some areas is more ground-down bolt shafts than actual concrete. That’s the legacy of people like me installing things, running them for a decade or two then removing /replacing /”optimising” them for most of a century.

  3. Sunday Afternoon says

    Having worked in a few older, multiply repurposed areas, bolts in concrete ground down to floor level is some sort of tradition.

    Here in earthquake country, it doesn’t have to be an old building. Many of the labs I’ve worked in have had these due to the need to change the location of equipment, most notably cleanroom flowhoods where all the weight is elevated by about 8 feet.

  4. StevoR says

    I tend to screw up in so many ways.

    This particular, specific one, I lack the mechanical skill, inclination and ability to screw up in – because I wouldn’t even know how to start to try. FWIW.

  5. says

    Update: the machine has moved. And damage to the lugs is minimal.

    Knifemakers get good with angle grinders; i peeled the heads of the bolts one layer at a time with a diamond wheel.

  6. says

    Sunday Afternoon@#3:
    most notably cleanroom flowhoods where all the weight is elevated by about 8 feet.

    I bet having one of those fall on you in an earthquake would really suck for a second or two.

    When I started setting up my shop I invited an old machinist to come do a safety check, and he told me about the time a bridgeport mill started trying to walk around a room… Nopeitty nope! Pull out the plug! Pull out the plug!

  7. says

    SteveoR@#4:
    I lack the mechanical skill, inclination and ability to screw up in – because I wouldn’t even know how to start to try.

    Larry Wall used to say “the greatest attribute of a programmer is hubris” – of course you know how to screw up; all you have to do is start with this simple mantra: “well, what is the worst that could happen?”

  8. dangerousbeans says

    @StevoR with an attitude like that you won’t screw up anything! have a go, break some stuff, permenantly attach a half ton lathe to your floor :P

  9. says

    Lofty@#8:
    “How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?”

    Depends if the wood chuck can chuck the wood or if the wood is good to chuck!

  10. publicola says

    Well, like I always say, “It takes a real man to admit his mistakes”. I say this because of the uncountable number of dumb errors I’ve made over the years. I once put a chain saw chain on backwards three times in a row and couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t cutting. Oh well, it’s good you can laugh about it. Maybe someday I’ll tell you my plumbing story. It’s a beaut.

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