From the Left Side of the Barn

I think it’s pretty progressive that the town of Fair Haven, Vermont, elected a mayor who is a Nubian …

… goat.

Why not? [nbc]

Apparently one of his first official acts was pooping on the floor.

Surprisingly there was no outcry from conspiracy theorist republicans asking to see the goat’s papers, to make sure he was a Nubian Goat from New Jersey, or something. There’s humor hidden in this mass of absurdity but I’m having trouble finding it.

Wait, no, I found it: this is Caligula’s horse Incitatus 2.0, who was elected to the Senate. Incidentally, is the name “Incitatus” related to “Incitement”? This seems to be a manifestation of political ennui. It’s hard not to look at Donald Trump and wish he could be replaced with a horse or a goat. Although, in terms of liking the sexy-time, a goat probably would probably only be an improvement in competence, not profligacy.

I guess the only happy news I get from the story is that the police chief apparently had to clean up literal shit from the mayor. That’s a precedent I approve of.

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That sure is a handsome goat.



  1. komarov says

    It’ll be congress next, then the senate and then, finally, the White House in 2024.

    In ’26 the goat will be assassinated for its progressive policies and for coming dangerously close to actually reigning in the rich. It’ll be remembered for reforming US healthcare, actually getting the US out of the Middle East* and it’s close, albeit sometimes strained, relationship with rural communities across the USA. It’s greatest defeat – though never conceded – will be the livestock emancipation act.

    It’ll probably be put on stamps and coins, if there are still stamps and coins. (I can’t forsee everything)

    *Guess what the next president will be remembered for!

  2. kestrel says

    When I sell goats I explain to people, “they want to overthrow the government” and they think I’m exaggerating. Well there it is, people: I told you, but you wouldn’t believe me. Goats want to overthrow the government. And at this point, I wish them the best of good luck.

  3. komarov says

    John, it’s an imperious goat, which I was alluding to with my clever pun.

    Okay, fine, mistaaaake. Thanks for the correction.

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