Oh, It’s Weed Day?

Weed never did much for me. The first time I smoked it, I was watching Cosby, Himself and laughed so hard I think I separated a rib. Subsequent times, I just immediately head for the couch and go to sleep. If I need to sleep, I’ll just read a book on ethics.

Anyhow, since today is weed day I thought I’d share a picture of an invention a then-friend and I cooked up, back in 1999: the Nobel Peace Pipe. After our experience watching Cosby, Himself I was complaining that the smoke was hot and burned my throat. Then, I said to myself, “Self? You know nitrous oxide is really really cold when it comes out of a whip-it. What if you used nitrous to cool the smoke?” Then, then-friend named it the Nobel Peace Pipe, and it took me a couple days to source all the parts and assemble the first prototype.

It worked unbelievably well, since the usual process is to inhale the smoke, and hold it deep in your lungs. Doing that with a lungful of mixed nitrous oxide and smoke messes you up incredibly fast. Best of all, the nitrous oxide’s analgesic properties make you less likely to feel burned or dried out by the smoke, and the smoke is cooler (but way more dry). We had one friend who was notorious for taking massive hits, so he was our beta-tester – yes, we tested on human subjects – the system was a resounding success.

I probably don’t need to explain the process, but allegedly when smoking weed in a bong, one pulls a bunch of smoke into the bong body then opens a “valve” (usually a hole with a thumb held over it) that lets you “clear” the pipe by pulling air in the hole and smoke into the lungs. With the Nobel Peace Pipe, instead of clearing the pipe with air, you gently squeeze the lever on the whipped cream maker and release a lungful of nitrous into the pipe body, then suck a load of nitrousy weed-smoke into your lungs. Then, you fall over.

Instance of The Nobel Peace Pipe (2005) model #6

The pipe above was made for a friend who likes hookas and has access to an effectively unlimited amount of weed. It was particularly easy to make since hookas have a one-way air inlet valve on the pipe body, you just find a compatible hose-bib, some hose, and a whipped cream dispenser. The hose-bib screws on to the threaded outlet where the cream would come out, and onto the one-way valve on the pipe.  With a more typical bong, like some of the lovely modern multi-stage lucite water pipes, you would enlarge the thumb-hole and add a grommet (to seal it) then run the hose from the cream dispenser down below the water level in the pipe. Or you could use a one-way hose fitting and put the inlet hose pretty much anywhere in the pipe body.

There are several advantages to using the cream dispenser:

  1. It acts as a “step down” pressurizer, so the nitrous doesn’t come out fast and blow ashes and bong water all over your face.
  2. It’s a good thermal mass for keeping things the right temperature – nitrous coming right out of a charger is about -32F and comes out fast enough that it can freeze flesh.
  3. It reduces fumbling when you are fucked up – and you’re going to be.
  4. It is very easy to control the nitrous jet with the gas lever.
  5. When you pass out you don’t have stuff leaking all over the place.

I forget what happened to Pipe #1. Since then I’ve made a few others; I’m up to #7. After #2 I started making little brass number and date plaques that read “Nobel Peace Pipe” on them. Because if you’re not proud of your work, you shouldn’t do it – and if you’re proud of it, you should sign it.

Be careful when working with PVC, nitrous oxide, and fire in the same vicinity, as they react sharply enough that you can propel rockets with the reaction. Nitrous oxide can be dangerous in lots of ways, so do not take this as an endorsement or encouragement to engage in illegal activities. Void where prohibited. Contents may have settled during HTML encoding.

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I am not presently taking orders.

This method is wasteful of both weed and nitrous (FYI) it’s more of a “life of the party” kind of toy and probably not best for daily use.


  1. says

    I am really inexperienced with the weed!
    My gateway drug was coffee. If I have a preference nowadays it’d be red wine and roxicet. When I broke my jaw in 2013, they sent me home with a liter of liquid Nurse Roxie and I fell quite in love.

    Unlike some US presidents, though, I’ll admit that I have inhaled.

  2. says

    I’d like to be able to indulge in weed, it helps with pain issues, and insomnia too. However, being under the federal thumb of mandatory drug testing in order to get bad pain pills (they ain’t no roxie), I can’t indulge.

  3. kurt1 says

    Isn’t that already an ice hookah? Looks like you can fill the tray around the top of the shaft with cold water and freeze it.

  4. polishsalami says

    Back around Christmas 2003 my elderly, alcoholic neighbour accused me of painting (sans paint) his front lawn with a brush I had borrowed from him. At the time I thought the whiskey had finally snapped his brain in two, but years later I realized that this had probably happened.

    I had been taking Stilnox — the sleeping pill that years later would fuck up Aussie swimmer Grant Hackett’s mind. The scariest part of this is that I have zero recollection of even a millisecond of this event; the second scariest part is that I left my house in the middle of the night, and could have wound up literally anywhere.


  5. says

    Weed can have some quite interesting mental effects, such as stimulating visual imagination and associative ability. If combined with attention training/meditation, you can really get some work done. The trick is that you need to properly train yourself to do it or you’ll get too easily distracted.

  6. says

    I have a friend who is still on zolpidem (ambien) and demonstrates plenty of the random behaviors you describe. One of the interesting things about it (and other hypnotics) is the way it interferes with short term to long term memory transcription – you can do all sorts of things you later forget.

    There are lots of drugs that have that effect including fentanyl, which appears to be what killed off Prince. I have been around people who were tripping on fentanyl under anaesthesia (wife #1 during a medical procedure) and its effect on memory is interesting, dramatic and profound. I cannot imagine taking that particular drug recreationally.