Highlighting Wonkette Wisdom

There was a bit in a piece by Wonkette writer Robyn Pennacchia that was too good not to signal boost:

I have a theory on why women are the primary audience for true crime, for why we are the primary audience for crime procedurals. It’s because justice, for us, is a kind of escapism, it’s a kind of fairy tale — about as likely to happen in real life, to us or to anyone we know, as a pumpkin turning into a carriage. Nearly every single woman I know who has reported a rape or a sexual assault to the police has been told, more or less, to fuck off, nearly every one has been retraumatized. We have hundreds of thousands of untested rape kits, just hanging around in warehouses.

I, too, have watched hours of Law & Order in its original and SVU incarnations. I, too, have come to the conclusion that the criminal justice system is aptly named. How do I combine a dislike of how rule of law is exploited to produce its opposite and along the way perpetuate injustice after injustice with an affection for shows such as this? It’s exactly what Pennacchia said: fantasies can be as comforting as fresh baked bread.

If it’s on the internet, it must be true

Speaking of things that are disrespectful to various national anthems, I am furious that people are running around talking about the Star Spangled Banner without giving proper credit to those to whom the credit is due: Whitney Houston & John Stafford Smith. I saw it on the internet so it must be true:

Google gives credit for the US national anthem to Whitney Houston & John Stafford Smith

I have to run out and pick up the album “Super Bowl XXV” now.

Religion, Trump, and Accountability: A Cautionary Tale

Stolen from a thief:

Jehovah & Satan are scratching their heads, giving puzzled looks to each other, attempting to determine who gets blamed for Trump. Of course, they have to rope in their friends when each denies taking any hand in Trump's creation.

Gods discuss who is responsible for Donald Trump.

 

Given their age, I think FSM should be remanded to juvenile court.

 

Full Script:

Jehovah & Satan are scratching their heads, giving puzzled looks to each other at this point.

Jehovah: You’re sure he’s not one of yours? Because I didn’t make him.

Satan: Please. Give me some credit. Even I have some standards.

Jehovah: Buddha? Brahma? [Both shrug their shoulders.] Gaia?

Gaia: [Glowers.]

Jehovah: Right, right. Sorry. Forgot about the “pussy grabbing” thing. … Cthulhu?

Cthulhu: What kind of monster do you take me for? [Sips tea.]

Satan: Well somebody cooked him up.

Flying Spaghetti Monster: …

Jehovah: Wait… There’s no way you could …

FSM: Look. It was my first time. I was a little drunk and someone asked for a “Tangerine Dream” so I thought …

Satan: [Facepalm.] Fucking newbies.

I’ve been waiting 26 years for this

I did my first local TV interview on abuse affecting people of all genders 26 years ago this month. At the time, it seemed we were a lifetime away from popular media being able to criticize people who make light of sexual abuse or domestic violence targeting men. Turns out, it wasn’t a lifetime away, only a single generation:

They Satirize Themselves

From the blog of a (seemingly) genuine gun-fondler and Trump devotee:

Pooh & Piglet Find The Best in the US Constitution

Seriously: there’s no reason to buy the guns except that they’re allowed? Joining the NRA when we know that they most probably broke laws on a massive scale to let Russians help determine the outcome of a US election?  It’s hard to believe this is serious, and yet the original blogger certainly seemed sincere.

 

 

Happy Juneteenth

Portland has an awkward history of Pride overlapping with Juneteenth, and this year it happened again. If you had a choice of going to a Pride celebration or a Juneteenth celebration but couldn’t be a part of both, which would you attend? Why?

For me it’s a bit academic, living in Canada where Juneteenth isn’t celebrated (for obvious reasons) and Pride is on a different weekend anyway. But it’s still a chance to look at important issues of how we prioritize our lives and the causes that we value. I think right now I’d prioritize Juneteenth if for no other reason than the Canadian kids have been to lots of Prides and zero Juneteenths, but it would get harder to answer if we’d been to both the same number of times.