It’s tough work being Baphomet, you know

Content Notice: Trans-antagonism.

I don’t deliberately visit Patheos often for one big reason: Portions of that network are, to put it charitably, like packets of guano flung into a ceiling fan. But lo and behold, minding my own business through an innocently conducted wikiwalk, I stumble upon the Christian theological case that trans folk are Baphomet.

Or… something.

The article begins:

I was doing some research

Sure. “Research.”

for an article on the statue of Baphomet which was unveiled in Detroit last weekend when I discovered some very interesting details.

For those of you who are not up to speed, the Satanic Temple unveiled a nine foot statue of Baphomet–or Satan.

As I looked at the image and read up on it I saw that the Devil is portrayed as transgender or androgynous.

Okay then.

The image in question, in case you’re curious:


This should be good. We’re basing our argument off the fact that a particular temple in Detroit (whose explicit purpose is to troll Christian theocrats, no less) depicted the entirely fictional character of Baphomet as a goat-man with boobs. It mostly just quirks an eyebrow from me and solicits a “that’s kinda interesting, I guess.” But no, our quivering-knee’d Dwight Longenecker has a deadly serious point to make:

Rising from his lap is the pagan Caduceus–the rod with two serpents entwined that the pagan god Mercury carries. According to Satanic lore, this is a phallic symbol with the earth powers of the serpent intertwined.

The winged goat headed figure not only has male genitalia, but breasts.

Well, symbolic male genitalia, according to you.

Furthermore, when you look closely you’ll see that the beast has two arms–one male and one female.

*squints at picture*

On the arms are the Latin words “Solve” and “Coagula”. These mean “Separate” and “Come Together”. These are occult words for the task of the alchemist who takes what is integrated and natural–breaks it and then puts it back together in a new (and perverted) way.

Chemistry is PERVERTED! Are you telling me homosexuals have been recruiting from the Chemistry department THE ENTIRE TIME??

This is precisely what Satan is doing at this time with human sexuality.

He’s been talking about the gender/sex of this particular image of Baphomet but doesn’t seem to realize the whiplash he just gave me when he decided he was making a point about “human sexuality.”

Through feminism, homosexualism , trans genderism,

That’s, uh, not even wrong.

gender confusion and “identifying” as whatever gender a person wants the distinctions between male and female are being broken and put back together however it is desired.

Not “however it is desired.” It’s being put back together in a way consistent with empirical evidence.

Bah, what am I saying? This is a theocrat we’re talking to! Don’t I have some babies to eat or something?

The celebration of “Caitlyn” Jenner

Ah yes, all trans people are Caitlyn Jenner. Wait–does that mean Caitlyn is Baphomet?

–indeed the enforced celebration


and constant publicity about this “transitioning” is a visual illustration of what is going on.

Uh, wait–now THE MEDIA is Baphomet? Make up your fucking mind, guy!

The latest rumor is that “Caitlyn” is going to bare all for a Playboy centerfold

Ahhh, so like many theocrats, your research is based off of Playboy.

Can this be happening? American men are being set up to lust after another man who has artificially become a woman?

I hate to break it to you, bud, but people have been calling trans women “traps” for a loooooooooot longer than Jenner’s been around as a very-unappointed representative of the trans community.

Does that mean Caitlyn Jenner is a demon?

Uh, yes? Obviously.

I’m not saying that,

No, you aren’t, you just asked it after you, you know, said that.

but the Jenner story is part of something happening in our culture

And that’s it! That’s the whole article!

Don’t ask me why I’m not a regular there.



  1. rq says

    Are you telling me homosexuals have been recruiting from the Chemistry department THE ENTIRE TIME??

    And now I’m wondering where I’d be today if I hadn’t switched out of chem into bio back in the day. Though I may have been aware of the gay agenda at the time.

  2. AndrewD says

    You wrote “Chemistry is PERVERTED!”, [sarc] of course we Chemists are perverted. We play with toxic materials, explosives and smelly things and get paid peanuts(if lucky). We run towards explosions and fires(albeit carrying fire extinguishers). We are also the real scientists unlike the fake mathematicians called physicists (not to mention Biologists) [/sarc]

  3. cartomancer says

    Interestingly enough medieval Christians tended to see the work of alchemy as a kind of physical analogue to their own ideas of spiritual purification and transformation. To them it symbolised the working out of base impurities and sins to achieve a golden, imperishable state in heaven. Indeed, it was generally supposed that the fabled “philosopher’s stone” was really just a metaphor for salvation.

    Baphomet, on the other hand, has nothing to do with traditional pre-Christian religion. The name is attested no earlier than the First Crusade (1090s AD), and was used solely by Christians condemning what they suspected was “pagan” worship, specifically among the Knights Templar. It’s a manufactured term of abuse (which 19th century occultists such as Eliaphas Levi and Alexander Crowley adopted into their own syncretistic belief system). One theory holds that it’s actually an Old French corruption of “Mahomet” (Muhammad), with the accusation being that the Templars had converted to Islam, which was thought to be a daemonic parody of Christianity by many.

  4. says

    As I looked at the image and read up on it I saw that the Devil is portrayed as transgender or androgynous.

    Baphomet is fictional. Stupid christians. For fuck’s sake. They’re the idiots who pattern their representation of jesus off of Cesare Borja and they are complaining that Baphomet has boobs?

  5. Siobhan says


    they are complaining that Baphomet has boobs?

    They are complaining that Baphomet as envisioned by an organization dedicated to trolling them has boobs, yes.

  6. says

    Among those annoyingly invasive medical questions you get, you’re going to have to add “When do you get your goat head transplant?” because clearly, that’s the end goal of all this trans stuff.

  7. Siobhan says

    @PZ Myers

    I don’t even have my symbolic penis yet. How can I even start planning my goatoplasty?

  8. The Mellow Monkey says

    I guess if you can’t tell the difference between an image of a fictional character created to troll you and reality, it makes sense that symbolic penises are the same as the real thing.

    (And how far does this symbolism go? Is anything longer than it is wide a symbolic penis now? When we put on pants, are we doing some sort of symbolic sex act with our legs???)

  9. whirlwitch says

    “And that’s it! That’s the whole article!”

    There’s a bunch more, actually, if you click on the Continue Reading link at the bottom. The best it is about the Knights Templars. My favourite bit regarding them:

    “The charges against the Knights Templar remain controversial, but locked within the order were some sort of secrets which were dark.

    “There were some sort of secrets which were dark” has such a lovely quasi-poetic ring to it. Almost Chrétien-ish.

  10. David Brindley says

    I don’t often read your blog, but if this is where you are heading, you’re added. PMSL at these doofuses. :-) Well skewered.