Demonization and Ridicule and Mockery, Oh My!

Detail of Satan from Hans Memling's Triptych of Earthly Vanity and Divine Salvation (c. 1485).

Detail of Satan from Hans Memling’s Triptych of Earthly Vanity and Divine Salvation (c. 1485). Source.

This little snippet from Paul “Advanced Luciferian Beings” McGuire caught my eye in his latest screeth, in which he takes issue with people mocking his lunatic nonsense. It’s exactly like what Hitler did to Jewish people, donchaknow? He ends with this:

“Demonization and ridicule and mockery is an essential component in a mind-control brainwashing process that gives you the cultural license to destroy, kill your enemies simply because they may believe in the Constitution and the biblical God,” McGuire warned. “So you are looking for a moral license to kill them and you are looking for an immoral narrative that gives you the fake legality to destroy them and massacre them.”

That’s rather the plan of the religious reich, is it not? You want to force everyone else, regardless of belief, to adhere to your lunatic beliefs and ideals. You want to strip women of their autonomy, make sure only white, male, lunatic christian assholes run everything, and force every single person to conform to christian straightness. You want your hate and fear to rule. The rest of us want acceptance and inclusion, and are not afraid to treat all people as people, with full human rights. We want all people to be taken care of, able to provide a roof and food; a good education for all, and we don’t find diversity all terrifyingly scary. And I have absolutely no interest in tearing children from their parents arms, or stripping them of icons which are meaningful to them. But you’re in favour of all that. When I saw this photo, the first thought was “concentration camps. Now we’re doing concentration camps.” I have zero interest in putting anyone in a camp, let alone killing them. I’d be happy if you’d all just shut the fuck up, and get on with your lives. You and the rest of the religious reich would institute the Inquisition in a heartbeat if you could. Being blinded and driven by hatred and fear is no way to live, Mr. McGuire, and yes, I will keep mocking and ridiculing you, because that is exactly what you have earned. I think I’ll stick to my side, thanks.

The whole screeth is at RWW.

Luciferian Advanced Beings and Pharaoh-God Kings!

Paul McGuire, a lunatic lost in conspiracies is at it again, still flogging away on the whole Pharaoh God Kings business, but with added Luciferian Advanced Beings! Ooooh.

“The unprecedented attacks against President Trump and his administration are something that we’ve never seen before in all of human history,” he said. “These unprecedented attacks on Donald Trump are part of the greatest spiritual battle in the history of mankind.”

Sigh. Investigation does not equal attack. I always find it interesting that so many christians are adept at self-brainwashing, but that is part and parcel of Abrahamaic religions. It really wasn’t long ago that we had an actual president, who came under vicious attacks for eight long years. Not long ago at all, but it does feel a lifetime. The religious reich conveniently forgets all that, and happily acts as though no previous president ever was attacked, no. Just the Tiny Tyrant. If the narcissistic asshole sitting in the white house wasn’t a criminal, there wouldn’t be an investigation. That’s how these things work.

“The physical battles that we see in our world and nation right now are a direct manifestation of the spiritual battles going on in the invisible realm,” McGuire added. “There are people very high up in what is called the globalist occult or globalist Luciferian rulership system, and this rulership system consists of what used to be called the Pharaoh-God Kings, it’s what Aldous Huxley called ‘The Scientific Dictatorship,’ and these are advanced beings who know how to tap into supernatural multidimensional power and integrate it with science, technology, and economics.”

It’s interesting, the determination to keep hold of all the old bugbears, while trying to put a modern spin on them. Oh yeah, it’s Lucifer and Pharaoh God Kings, but with Science, Supernatural Multidimensional Power, technology, and economics! Got to try and make it interesting, I suppose. There’s a problem with the whole Lucifer business though – there is no Lucifer in the bible. Lucifer is yet another bad translation in the KJV. There is Hêlêl ben Šāḥar, that would be your bad guy. Granted, that’s a bit more of a mouthful than Lucifer, but practice makes perfect! As for Aldous Huxley and “the scientific dictatorship”, he never said that. That didn’t stop someone from plastering all over the net, unfortunately.

“They are people at the highest level of the pyramidic organizational structure in which the highest ranking officers, if you will, of the New World Order and Mystery Babylon are ruling the earth through an organizational structure that looks like the pyramid on the back of the U.S. dollar,” he stated. “And they control the world because they understand that the true control of the world is done through supernatural mechanisms.”

“Mystery Babylon”? What in the fuck is that? A pyramid. Hmmm. I haven’t noticed any gigantic pyramids anywhere. Perhaps I’m just not looking hard enough. Or maybe it’s in the earth’s core. Who the hell knows. Okay, so they know control is managed through supernatural ooogaboooga. What happened to Jehovah then? That’s supposed to be his demesne, is it not? How about that lazy, ineffectual god do something for a change. Light a bush on fire, something.

Via RWW.

Beware The Dolls!

Three Dolls, Vintage Warehouse.

Three Dolls, Vintage Warehouse.

Democratic Florida state Rep. Kim Daniels is also an exorcist preacher whose bill requiring all public schools to display “In God We Trust” goes into effect this summer. Ms. Daniels also has a thing about dolls. And witches. Now granted, dolls are creepy (at least to me), but they aren’t demonic or otherwise possessed. If you’re afraid of dolls, well, they’re kinda like vampires – you have to invite them in, after you’ve purchased them of course (or worse, made them!)

In her book, Breaking the Power of Familiar Spirits: How to Deal With Demonic Conspiracies (June 5, 2018), Daniels writes on how evil spirits operate under covers that make up our everyday lives. From fashion to furniture, from trends to traditions, and from rituals to dolls, Daniels shows how the familiar areas of our lives can harbor demonic influences. One of these areas is fetishes.

“Most idolatry is rooted in fetishism,” Daniels writes. “Simply put, a fetish is an object with a spirit attached to it. If we’re not vigilant, we can open doors to familiar spirits in our lives and homes simply by the items we possess and the practices we keep.”

In writing on fetishism and idolatry, Daniels goes back in history to when dolls had spiritual value attached to them. In religions and occult practices, dolls were used as supernatural intermediaries to confer favor, represent gods and enact witchcraft.

Oy. If we’re going to talk fetishes, how about we have a nice chat about the overwhelming amount of christian ones? Generally speaking, dolls have a long history of being toys, a comfort item for young children. If you go back far enough, dolls were happy comfort items for all genders, they weren’t just for girl children. As for ‘representing gods’, let’s go have a cleansing of every single fucking christian based church. No more altars. No more ugly crucifixes with Jesus dolls on. No more rosaries. No more statues. No more stained glass windows. And so on. I mean, you wouldn’t want to take a chance, would you?

“If you create an atmosphere of holiness and seek God,” Daniels says, “everything that is not like God will come out of hiding and be exposed.”

Great idea! From now on, all christians need to strip their homes of all the comfy material stuff, because it could be harbouring a spirit! Live like monks or nuns. And no fetishes, either!

Via Joe My God and Charisma News.

Oooer, A Psy-Op Blender! Wait…

Wow, Coach Dave is on one hell of a trip. His latest lunatic screeth is quite long, and so full of batshit, it’s hard to know where to begin. What’s all the fuss? The latest royal wedding – it’s a major psy-op to enforce the worst of the worst: the blending of white people with :gasp: people of colour!

Daubenmire, who has declared that he is “proud to be white” because “white, heterosexual, Christian” men represent America’s only hope for survival, has fretted about the threat of white genocide, and has fumed that interracial marriage weakened this nation “because multiculturalism is spiritual AIDS [that] has brought an infection into what was once a great Christian American culture,” said that the marriage of Prince Harry to a woman of “mixed blood” is an attempt to corrupt the pure bloodline of House of Windsor.

Yes, Coach Dave is a fully paid up member of the White Patriarchal Assholes™. He’s also astonishingly dense, as we shall see.

“Let me just lay it out there, because most people won’t say it because they don’t want to sound racist,” Daubenmire said while wearing a literal tinfoil hat. “Prince Harry’s wife is half-black. Now, wait a minute. That ain’t that royal bloodline lineage there, is it fellas? Isn’t there a little bit of mixed blood coming in there?”

Pretty much everyone on the planet has a someone in the woodpile who comes as a bit of a surprise. Now royalty everywhere does have a perturbing history of inbreeding in an attempt to keep things within the right class, but I’d happily bet there are some right interestin’ people in those bloodlines. Royalty has also spent a lot of time breeding like out of control bunnies, and there was seldom much concern about all those babes born on the wrong side of the blanket, and there were a fucktonne of them, too. History, Coach Dave. Try learning some.

“Did you see who performed the service?” he said. “Was it the Bishop of Canterbury or some official WASPy guy? Was it? Did I miss something? Or did we see the ultimate—umm, how do I say this?—a blending of the races; one new world order, one-world government, the blending of the [races] in the House of Windsor coming together for the first time.”

Bishop Curry is the ultimate blending of the races? How on earth do you figure that one, Dave? It’s not as if Bishop Curry was getting married to Harry. You might be unaware, Dave, but there have been people of colour in England for a very long time. A really long time. There have even been people of colour at the royal court, going waaaaaaaaaay back. I did hear that Bishop Curry preached about love, and I rather expect that’s what got under your skin. As for the whole new world order blahblahblah blending of races in the House of Windsor, uhhhh, it was one wedding. I don’t think it even qualified as a herald to all that nonsense.

Daubenmire insisted that since Prince Harry is sixth from the throne and very unlikely to ever become King of England, he was allowed to marry Meghan Markle in order to send a message endorsing mixed race relationships.

Oh, all that idiocy has been downgraded to an endorsement now. Gotcha. Who the hell knows who is going to end up on the throne? I can’t be arsed to care. As it stands, Elizabeth might live to be two hundred years old, given her death grip on that throne. People aren’t influenced by this kind of thing as much as you seem to think, Dave. For most people, it’s a matter of falling in love, and skin colour doesn’t enter into it.

“I’m going to tell you something, if there was any chance that Harry was ever going to be King of England, do you think they really would have let him just choose any woman he wanted?” Daubenmire said. “Of course not. So what’s the message that is being sent to us? … Is it a psy op that now, all of a sudden, sixth to the throne, he ain’t never going to be king, now it’s okay for the crown to be diverse?”

Yes, I expect Harry would have been allowed to marry who he wanted to marry. Even royalty has to make concessions to the current reality. If there was an obstacle, Harry could always choose to abdicate, it’s been done before. No, it is not a “psy-op”. Harry is not “all of a sudden” sixth in line. As for the crown being diverse, yeah, it’s just fine. There’s no reason it shouldn’t be.

RWW has the full story and video.

Hey, Better Than Pharaoh!

Screengrab. Man looks like he was unwrapped after a a few decades of mummification. Yeah, I know, but still…

Here’s a somewhat novel defense of the Tiny Tyrant – he’s better than Pharaoh. Yep. Naturally, the first question springs to mind: um, which Pharaoh would we be talking about? There were a bunch of them.

“Throughout biblical history, God continually raises up imperfect leaders,” he said. “In the days of the Pharaoh of Egypt—let’s not be Pollyannish here—anything that is inappropriate for young children, it was far worse in the king of Babylon’s time and the Pharaoh. When they partied, they partied and they didn’t even have an X-rated label because anything went.”

Uhhh, X-rated kinda means anything goes, and that’s not even touching on the absolute idiocy of trying to paste that over various Egyptian dynasties. I don’t think it a terribly wise focus either, given the Tiny Tyrant’s penchant for nasty partying. All throughout history, pretty much  everything was worse for children, so I’m afraid that’s not much of a winner either. This is also a display of complete ignorance about Egyptian history, which in many aspects, was highly civilised, with a whole lot of very smart people running things.

“Donald Trump, like so many other leaders in the Old Testament, was raised up by God not because he was perfect,” McGuire added. “Other men in the Bible were pagan kings, in fact, they made the people worship them as gods. God has a historical record from Genesis to Revelation, over and over again, God says in his word, ‘Thus saith the Lord.’ He chooses who he will raise up and put down.”

Monarchy, regardless of where it’s taken place, has always been considered to be of divine origin and choice. Nothing new there. The ancient Egyptians had gods, you know, and they took them pretty damn seriously. Just like you do. That means god[s] first, monarch second. Most monarchs were quite smart enough to play up their various god[s], and simply relied on their authority as ruler to keep people in obeisance, and being fodder for wars often fought over…god[s]. “Thus saith the lord”. Yeah, there was a lot of that, and a lot of what Jehovah said was hideous, psychopathic bullshit. So fucking what? I could walk around every day saying “Thus saith Caine”, and writing “Thus saith Caine”. Wouldn’t mean a thing, except perhaps as an announcement I had decided to be an obnoxious ass.

“He put Trump into office for a reprieve,” he continued, “because our Founding Fathers, the pilgrims and Puritans, entered into a holy covenant with Almighty God, based on Deuteronomy 28. It’s an everlasting covenant. That’s why America is great. So here we have a man, a billionaire, and they don’t like him because they can’t control him. He isn’t a lapdog for Pharaoh’s new world order.”

Oh FFS, what a stew of crap. Yeah, Deuteronomy 28 is interesting. 28:14 begins:

And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them. (Emphasis mine. Heh.)

That’s followed by an astonishing amount of curses, truly horrible shit, from petty infliction of hemorrhoids to family doing the worst things to you. Oh, and I guess you fellows haven’t heard, but all the pharaohs are dead. Long dead. As for the Tiny Tyrant, he cant control himself, in any sense of the word. That’s why he can’t run any business successfully, and resorts to cons and grifting.

RWW has the full story.

If You Have A God’s Protection, Why Do You Need A Gun?

Screengrab via RWW.

Yet more contradictory behaviour by christians. Everything, always a contradiction, with more than a sulphuric whiff of the standard christian hypocrisy.

…“I feel the Lord’s hand of protection is on you,” Howard-Browne said. “If they were going to take you out, they would have taken you out. They’re not going to touch you because of the blood of Jesus that protects you, the angels of God that encamp about you, your wife, your children, and everything that you touch.”

“I can feel God’s strength,” Jones replied. “I just can’t believe that other people don’t see it …There is no energy even like it; people don’t even know.”

Wow, check all that out! A god’s hand of protection, super-protection blood, special angels in a bodyguard encampment, and supernatural energy. All that, but y’know, you better take this gun, because…why?

After Howard-Browne declared that God is using Jones “to wake people up,” he pulled out a .45 caliber handgun and presented it to Jones as a gift.

“Preacher brings Alex Jones a .45,” Howard-Browne said. “That’s the headline for the mainstream media.”

Yes, it’s a blatant bid for attention, no question there. Still, I’d like an answer as to why someone with such supposedly powerful protection would need a gun? Don’t you trust that god? Aren’t you supposed to have faith? And what about that god’s will business? Why would you take the chance of subverting it? (And what kind of a pitiful excuse for a god could have their will so easily subverted?) What if it’s your god’s will that you get gunned down in the street, or otherwise “taken out” by someone? Oh, ye of little faith.

And is it just me, or is Jones looking rather frightened by that gun?

RWW has the full story.

The Antichrist Will Be…

Detail from Sermon and Deeds of the Antichrist, Luca Signorelli, San Brizio Chapel.

Detail from Sermon and Deeds of the Antichrist, Luca Signorelli, San Brizio Chapel.

The antichrist will be…a homosexual Jew! So sayeth idiot Rick Wiles.

…Wiles said that this sort of “apostasy” is a sign that the End Times are near and warned that the Antichrist “will be a homosexual Jew.”

“What is the spirit of antichrist?” Wiles said. “It is anybody or anything that denies that Jesus Christ came to earth as God in human flesh. That is antichrist. If you deny it, then you are antichrist. And the Jews and Judaism is antichrist. Any Jew that denies that Jesus Christ is the son of God in human flesh, then he is antichrist. Judaism is antichrist. Islam is antichrist. Hinduism, Buddhism, all those isms [are] antichrist because they deny the virgin birth of the son of God.”

Yeah, yeah, only christianity is right, but you all can’t fucking figure out which christianity is right, you all think your particular flavour is right, and the rest are wrong. Nothing new to see here, although I am surprised to see atheism given a pass. I guess we don’t count against all those other isms.

“I personally believe that the Man of Perdition, the one that you call Antichrist, I personally believe he will be a homosexual Jew,” Wiles added. “Watch out for global Zionism taking over this planet through artificial intelligence. There are two things that you cannot publicly criticize now; you cannot criticize the homosexual agenda and you cannot criticize Zionism. Those two are together. They’re driven by the same spirit. And what is coming is a global entity that is going to be Zionism and homosexuality and it’s going to be operated through artificial intelligence and it’s going to be policed through the most high-tech surveillance society that you can imagine. It will be a nightmare.”

Sigh. Seems to me that I see a hell of a lot of public criticism of all things queer; and worse, much bigoted railing and open hatred. Same goes for any and all things and people Jewish. I haven’t noticed the nazis shutting the fuck up lately, or just your garden variety bigots, who are well known for their fear and hatred of Jewish people. So much for that declaration. The christian agenda of attempting to usher in the ‘end times’ is hardly a secret, and you have to have those pesky Jewish people around for that to happen, but it sure doesn’t mean you have to like them, right, Mr. Wiles? As for that ushering in, shouldn’t that really be the business of that lazy ass god of yours?

As for your pretend “global entity”, no, that’s not going to happen, anymore than the terminator showing up at your door. As for high-tech surveillance societies, well, that’s most of the major players, and has been for a very long time. No one loves tech more than governments. That’s not to say that most of them are very good at it, they aren’t. Mostly, they all spend time trying to shift blame and cover up all the mass fuck ups. Surveillance is a fact of life anymore. Well, unless you’re a cop.

“Israel embraces homosexuality,” he continued. “They need to be told, ‘You’re sinners, you’re going to go to Hell, you need to repent, you need to call upon the name of Jesus!’”

I’m pretty sure all of Israel is not a hotbed of queerness, and I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of bigotry and disapproval there too, just like everywhere else.

RWW has the full story.

A Resolution Against Social Justice, It’s Evil!

Grady Arnold.

A group calling itself Godly America sent out a press release through Christian Newswire on Monday calling attention to a Southern Baptist pastor who “has submitted a resolution against social justice” to be considered at the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting in Dallas in June.

Godly America, “a ministry to remind Christians of their rich heritage and history as Americans, and to call America back to the Judeao-Christian [sic] principles on which America is founded,” seems to consist of said pastor, Grady Arnold.

Mr. Arnold seems to be going his own way here, even to the heresy of embracing Glenn Beck, which I don’t see endearing him to other Southern Baptists, as they do not consider mormons to be christians. Here are some bits and pieces of the press release:

Within the resolution, Arnold states that social justice activism is “a vehicle to promote abortion, homosexuality, gender confusion, and a host of other ideas that are antithetical to the gospel.”

Mmmm. I’m good with abortion, and seriously promoting education, comprehensive sex education, and contraception. I’m all kinds of fine with acceptance of all queer folk, and there’s no confusion on the part of people who are inhabiting this century’s reality. Who gives a fuck about the gospel? Confining yourself to bronze / iron age views is not in any way good.

Pastor Arnold warns in his resolution that denominations that have embraced social justice have rapidly dropped in membership and have become more liberal in their theology. “If Southern Baptists are concerned with having conservative theology and want to avoid even further numerical losses, they need to talk to their pastors, local associations and state conventions, and tell them to take a firm stand against social justice.”

Oooh, comin’ into the 21st century! That’s a good thing. I suppose it’s always good to know just how much the religious reich does not at all care for people, of any kind. It’s always about power and oppression.

“If Southern Baptists don’t rise up and take a stand now, then in a few years they will be seeing books in their Lifeway bookstores promoting liberation theology, black theology, and feminism, and in their literature, they will be called upon to understand their ‘white privilege’ and the need to feel guilty about it.”

Oh my, could things possibly get worse than that? There’s zero need to feel guilty about white privilege. What’s needed is a clear understanding of it, and how it promotes systemic racism and personal bigotry, then working to be aware of it, and correct it.

RWW has the full story, with lotsa links.  The press release is linked above, and the full “resolution” can be found here.

Christians In Prison: Pushing Anti-Transgender Policy.

Image from official notice changing Bureau of Prisons regulations dealing with transgender people.

Image from official notice changing Bureau of Prisons regulations dealing with transgender people.

Christians, even in prison, committed to doing evil shit and making sure other people are hurt.

In their complaint, the Christian inmates reportedly refer to the transgender women as “men,” in keeping with the Religious Right’s strategy, aggressively promoted by the Heritage Foundation’s Ryan Anderson, of refusing to acknowledge transgender identity and insisting that it is nothing more than a mental health problem. In a March article in the Witherspoon’s Public Discourse, Ryan quoted his mentor Robert George saying, “Changing sexes is a metaphysical impossibility because it is a biological impossibility.”

…The change “comes after four evangelical Christian women in a Texas prison sued in US District Court to challenge the Obama-era guidelines, and claimed sharing quarters with transgender women subjected them to dangerous conditions.” The Obama-era rules allowed flexibility for prison staff to make case-by-case determinations that considered the wishes of transgender inmates as well as management and security considerations. But, according to BuzzFeed, the new guidelines issued on Friday “instruct officials to ‘use biological sex as the initial determination for designation’ for screening, housing and offering programming services.”

Oh, you can just feel that christian hate, can’t you? I have to get myself together for chemo day tomorrow, and I have to say, I’d rather deal with chemo than with fucking christians. Ick. RWW has the full story.

Scott Lively: The Voice For Authentic Conservative Homosexuals.

All around repugnant, immoral, evil person, Scott Lively has a new shtick in his bid for governor of Massachusetts: he’s going to be the voice of all those nice, properly closeted, quiet, conservative queers, who understand that heterosexuality must remain dominant. Mr. Lively is doing his damnedest to come across as reasonable and tolerant. Not at all the same Scott Lively who once called for the execution of all queer folk, no, no. If you want to read his glurgetastic appeal to “authentic conservative homosexuals”, you can do that at Lively on “Gays”. If you’ve eaten today, you might want to wait a while. In the meantime:

“One of my goals here in this campaign is I want to establish sort of a profile of what an authentic conservative homosexual looks like,” Lively said, quickly making clear that this should not be construed to mean that he would consider “ever endorsing homosexuality, because it’s something condemned by God.”

Lively asserted that “authentically conservative” gay voters are nothing like “the gay progressives,” because the former place “an emphasis on personal privacy instead of gay pride parades cramming it down everybody’s throats.”

Lively said that gay rights activists today are part of a “radical cultural Marxist warfare” movement whereas the founders of the fight for gay rights were simply seeking “the right to be left alone,” which is something he is willing to support because “we should respect people’s right to be wrong, because in God’s perfect timing, he works with every person.”

This is a truly astonishing pile of shit. I don’t believe for one second that Lively has at all softened his views on queer people, he has been utterly virulent in his hate and condemnation of them for decades. He really wants that governorship though, and he’s obviously more than willing to lie his arse off in order to obtain said office. I sincerely hope the people of Massachusetts show Mr. Lively the curb.

Lively declared that as long as gay conservatives “agree that mainstream society should be—and must be—heterosexual,” then society should be willing to accommodate them, especially when faced with the threat that the “gay cultural supremacy being driven by the hard-left progressives” is creating an environment in which “the natural family may actually be facing extinction.”

That is not going to happen. If anything, climate change will get us first, but people are not going to stop breeding. The majority of people on this planet are hetero, and most of them either want or end up with children, and there’s a fucktonne of people on this planet.

“If the concept of male and female complementarity actually becomes criminalized, and that’s where this is headed,” Lively warned, “we’re going to face some really serious problems.”

No, that is NOT where we are headed, you melodramatic asshole. Some people are now learning about gender, and coming to understand it properly, and expanding on the rigid gender definitions which have defined, and often devastated generations of people. That’s not a threat to hetros in any way whatsoever. Family has become a much larger umbrella, to embrace all manner of configurations, and in many cases, extended families are coming back, which is a good thing, because there’s a lot of support in that. There are a whole lot of children out there who are in desperate need of homes, and assholes like you, Mr. Lively, would stop queer folk from providing those homes. It’s good to remember that you don’t actually care about any people outside of evangelical fringe, and all you want is the power to oppress.

RWW has the full story.

“If you join a gym, don’t join one with gay men in it.”

Over at Barbwire, Robert Oscar Lopez has an article up on how to be a Manly, testosterone laden STRAIGHT DUDE, complete with ten ‘tips’ for getting over that awful gay. There’s so much material (two dense pages), I’m just going to pull bits here and there, you can check the whole mess for yourself, and calling it a mess is a serious understatement. As well as all the lies of the “ex-gay” bullshit, there’s a serious misconception of just what a “straight man” is, too. There’s a full embrace of toxic masculinity, along with some incredible mistakes in that regard. Altogether, it’s terribly pathetic, a complete caricature of being a man, a cartoon construct filled with desperation.

I don’t have much more time before the law makes it illegal for me to share the ten tips I will share in this blog. So I better type quickly and give you ten tips on: how to go from gay to straight. I am speaking from some expertise, but mostly from my own experience. These tips will be helpful if you find yourself wanting to get out of the gay world but your goal is not celibacy.

Oh, I see the drama has not been forsaken. It will be illegal to talk about my desire to be a straight dude, oh no!!1!!

There are certain perks about being gay that you are going to miss. For instance, if you identify as gay, people pity you and give you less responsibility for being a jerk. You get to be a complete whore and have that called liberation. Sex is easy to get and commitments easy to flake out on.

It’s a bad start, painting the queer communities all over the world this way, like a bad ’80s movie. Cruuuuise, baybee! Anyone can be a jerk. Anyone can sleep around. Sex is not always easy to get. Anyone can be afraid of commitment. Unfortunately, Mr. Lopez is all about the stereotypes.

In the gay world, you may have competed from time to time for the attention of men with nice physiques; now, you will be fighting against men with even more well-developed physiques, trying to achieve victory over them in order to win for yourself a coveted prize: a virtuous and desirable wife.

Soon you will see how much harder life is for straight guys.

:Snortsputter: Sorry, almost choked on my tea there. Oh yes, let’s hear it for the poor, pathetic straight dudes. Their lives are so gosh darn hard, livin’ the status quo! Now maybe it’s just me, but I haven’t really noticed a tonne of straight dudes with even MORE well-developed physiques wandering about. Maybe it’s where I live, but there seems to be a preponderance of pot bellies.

Once you go straight, you may go years without sex; nobody wants to hear you cry about it. Once you find your woman, you can’t just blow off things she complains about. You have to sit and listen to her whine about stupid stuff for hours without laughing or rolling your eyes or getting snarky.

I’m not sure the sacrifice is worth this, and while Mr. Lopez goes on and on about the big prize of a wife, owning that there woman, he paints a picture of complete subjection to said woman, and you just have to take it, because that’s the price you pay. There’s not one bloody word about finding a partner, a friend, someone to share your life with love and care. And I have to say, no one is getting my damn snark. It’s all mine, and I’m not sacrificing for anyone.

Most importantly, once you go straight, nobody wants to hear you complain or talk about your problems. The minute you leave gay identity behind, you go from being a pitiable and pathetic victim to a grown man with the ability to solve his own problems. This means you cannot break down or become defeatist, and you cannot expect sympathy just for being you. When straight men threaten to kill themselves if people do not give them what they want, this is called abusive rather than the grounds for a hashtag campaign.

So…you’re saying straight men suck at being friends? All the gay people I know are not considered to be pitiable or pathetic by anyone, least of all themselves, and I’m afraid they get stuck with solving their own problems, just like everyone else, you stupid dipshit. Of course straight men can break down, they can become defeatist, and depressed, just as anyone can, and that calls for support and help, not that you’d offer any, Mr. Lopez. And more to the point, Mr. Lopez, it’s perfectly normal and alright for straight men to break down, feel defeatist, or become depressed. No man should feel like he cannot reach out for help or that men don’t deserve help. Keeping crap all bottled up is the reason why a lot of angry, straight, mostly white men end up going on mass killings. It’s horrible, evil, toxic bullshit that men are supposed to be silent sufferers, that “real” men don’t do this and don’t do that. It’s a shit attitude, and it’s harmful. People are people, and all people should be able to reach out when they are in need, with no stigma attached.

Perhaps the biggest transformation signifies the most important change: your sexual identity will no longer be based on what you want, but rather, what you give to a woman. You must abandon the practice of dwelling on whether you like this or are excited by that–the issue now is: what body do you have, and how can it give pleasure to others? You have a penis, which is the basic piece of equipment to bring happiness to a woman (though you must make sure that match is right). But from now on, the quest is not to gratify your penis, but rather to give pleasure to her with it. You will measure your sex life by how happy she is, how pleasured she feels, how much satisfaction she expresses.

Did you get that, women? All it takes to make you happy is a penis. I wonder if Mr. Lopez knows you can avail yourself of a wide variety of detachable penises, in varying degrees of softness/hardness, colour, and size? Some of those bad boys even have convenient lotion or lube inside. Others have happy time batteries. Oh my! Personally, I don’t want a partner who is obsessed with only one side of the sexual aspect of the relationship.

You need to get healthy, with a decent body mass and strength. You need to be financially stable. If you join a gym, don’t join one with gay men in it. Be around masculine men and pick up their mannerisms and humor. Do not listen to women who say they want sensitive men or an equal share of power in the household; women want leadership, strength, and guidance from men. You have to become a rock of fortitude, a source of security–for men, that is the love we give. And you have to be in good enough shape to make her body feel unbelievable pleasures she might have never imagined.

Just how does one avoid a gym with even one gay person in it? How would you know? I’m pretty sure going around and asking people if they’re some flavour of queer would get you promptly kicked out. Oh, and security is nice, but I prefer my partner to actually like and love me.

The manosphere may shock you (I mean sites like Roosh’s Return of Kings) with its misogyny and vulgarity. But you need to hear the thoughts of straight guys.

Those are not the thoughts of straight dudes, Mr. Lopez. Those are the thoughts of toxic assholes, who are not the least bit interested in finding a wife; they’re into the dark side of that whoredom business, using, abusing, and tossing. It’s all about notches. As for the thoughts of straight guys, well here’s the thing: you’re talking about a fucktonne of individuals, Mr. Lopez, and most of them are not represented by the toxic manosphere. You seem to buying into this notion that a manly man has to be a toxic, misogynistic asshole.  Straight dudes are not a  hive mind, or any other type of collective.

It will also educate you on how straight men deal with setbacks and frustration. You need to increase your masculinity and self-confidence before you start dating girls. In addition to spending your time online in these kinds of environments, you want to do activities that place you in contact with straight men, and do not confide in other guys everything you are dealing with. Part of being a man is not having to talk about everything in your head, and just listening to what other people do. If you want to be in a relationship with a woman, you need to become a man — the kind of person who can be stalwart, unflappable, strong, and reliable, someone with no problems or drama. Being around straight men will gradually help you get there.

Ah, the school of stiff upper lip and penis! You don’t need anymore than that, straight men!

In crass terms, when you become a woman’s sexual partner (husband), the sex life of the marriage will largely depend on your sexual performance. You will need strong abdominal muscles, gluteal muscles, arms, and legs. You want your woman to feel like a powerful animal has her in his power, who instead of crushing her is using his strength to lift her out of the doldrums of this world into a dreamworld of ecstasy and limitless wonder. For her, sex is a vacation like riding the jet skis in Jamaica. You are the stallion she will ride into glory. But to be that stallion, you need to be muscular, have high testosterone, and be fit.

I, uh, I oh gods…falls over laughing. I think Mr. Lopez may have been reading a tonne of bad bodice rippers. A good sex life is one in which all the performances count. If this is just about you, might as well toss the wife a nice detachable penis, and go back to masturbating.

Okay, that’s it for me. I can’t take anymore. I’m going to go clean instead. Yikes. You can read all two pages of compleat shit here.

The Most Powerful Prayer!!1!

Lance Wallnau is urging people to unleash the most POWERFUL prayer there is: appealing to Jehovah’s reputation. Yep. This is all about how good ol’ Jehovah is gonna look.

“The most powerful prayer is a prayer that appeals to the Lord’s reputation,” Wallnau said. “Here is what I’m telling to the Lord right now, I’m saying, ‘What will they say when a man who makes the embassy move to Jerusalem as your capital is so unjustly beaten up and removed from office? What will they say about the God of Israel honoring those that honor Him? What will they say about this man who, just today, authorized the relaunching of the entire Bush-era faith initiative … More prayer in the White House than any president has had in 50 years, what will they say, Lord, about you when your enemies are mocking the weakness of your people?’”

“What will they say if he cannot be preserved from his enemies railroading him out of town?” Wallnau asked, calling on the “God of Israel [to] rouse from your slumber” on behalf of Trump and “act in such a way that even your enemies will be silenced.”

It would appear that Jehovah is still napping, not giving a tiny, godly fart about what’s happening, so it’s the last resort appeal of “what will the neighbors say!?” Now Lance did cite a passage from Exodus, where Moses appealed to Jehovah’s vanity with “What will the Egyptians say?”:

32:12 Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.

I have to say, that sort of thing doesn’t seem to work at all anymore, I guess that nap is just too good. Honestly, this makes me laugh, because I just can’t imagine wanting any part of such a vain, weak little twerp of a god who is so easily manipulated.  Herne the Hunted is a much better god in comparison to Jehovah, at least he has dignity.

The full thing is at RWW.

St. Julianus Murdering His Parents.

St Julianus Murdering his Parents, Spinello Aretino (1350-1410). Source.

The other day, I was looking up a fresco by Spinello, and my eye was caught by the painting of St. Julianus murdering his parents. I decided to dig a bit further, it’s an odd tale. Julianus the Murderer morphs into Julian the Hospitaller. To me, the painting is jarring, depicting Julianus as a saint while busy hacking his parents up, but apparently these things don’t bother religious people. His parents must have been very sound sleepers, too, they don’t look a bit disturbed.

According to de Varazze, on the night Julian was born, his father, a man of noble blood, saw pagan witches secretly lay a curse on the boy that would make him kill both his parents. His father wanted to get rid of the child, but his mother did not let him do so. As the boy grew into a handsome young man, his mother would often burst into tears because of the sin her son was destined to commit. When he finally found out the reason for her tears, he swore he “would never commit such a sin” and “with great belief in Christ went off full of courage” as far away from his parents as he could. Some versions say that it was his mother who told him at the age of 10, while others say it was a stag he met in the forest while hunting (a situation used in depicting St. Julian in statues and pictures). [Julian was of noble birth and while hunting one day, was reproached by a hart for hunting him and told that he would one day kill his mother and father.]

Everyone loves a tall tale, and this one seems happily tangled. The story about the stag reproaching Julianus and predicting his future as a murderer strikes me as more than happily pagan in nature, and it probably should have stayed there, because as soon as you start twisting this about to be christian, it becomes a very ugly story indeed.

After fifty days of walking he finally reached Galicia where he married a “good woman”, said to be a wealthy widow.

There’s good luck for you, and a damn fast move, too. ETA: yet another hallmark of christian tales, the wealthy, good woman isn’t deserving of a recorded name. Just window-dressing. She’s the only one in the story who doesn’t do something evil, but the murderer gets to be a saint. Aaand, she doesn’t even get a face in the creepy painting.

Twenty years later, his parents decided to go look for their now thirty-year-old son. When they arrived, they visited the altar of St. James, and “as soon as they came out of the church they met a woman sitting on a chair outside, whom the pilgrims greeted and asked, for Jesus’ love, whether she would host them for the night as they were tired.” She let them in and told them that her husband, Julian, was out hunting. (This is why he is also known as the patron of hunters.) The mother and father were overjoyed to have found their son, as was Julian’s wife. “She took care of them well and had them rest in her and Julian’s bed.” But the enemy went off seeking Julian and told him: ‘I have sour news for you. While you are here, hunting, your wife is in bed embracing another man. There they are right now, still sleeping.'”

The enemy. Right. I guess we all get to assume this would be Lucifer. Or maybe a lesser demon. Might have been a nasty gossip at the local. Who the fuck knows? Now, if it had been me, I would have wanted to check things out for myself, but it seems Julianus was a rather gullible man, who simply swallowed whatever someone said, with little thought involved.

De Verazze continues: “And Julian felt deep sadness and his face drew into a frown. He rode back home, went to his bed and found a man and a woman sleeping in it. He drew his sword and killed them both. He was about to take off and never again set foot in that land, but as he was leaving he saw his wife sitting among the other women. She told him: ‘There are your mother and father resting in your room.’ And so Julian knew, and fell into a rage. ‘The shrewd enemy lied to me when he said my wife was betraying me’, and while kissing their wounds he cried ‘Better had I never been born, for I am cursed in soul and body.’ And his good wife comforted him and said ‘Have faith in Christ Almighty, a stream of life and mercy.’ They had no children… Gold and silver they had a lot… And after seeking redemption in Rome, Julian built seven hospitals and twenty-five houses. And the poor started flowing to him, to Jesus’ Almighty’s love.”

Apparently, Julianus didn’t even bother to use his eyes before he set to murdering, and was quite the coward, to boot, ready to run away. There was no sense of offense, or self-righteousness on Julianus’s part, no passion, he acted more like a simpleton carrying out instructions, and after the murders, a sense of shame and self-preservation landed. “The shrewd enemy”! Oh my.  Julianus wasn’t on the smart side at all, how long does it take to check out a couple of sleeping people, or to go find your spouse? Then this whole fucking thing goes south, with the ‘faith in Christ’ business.

Oh, it’s fine, so you murdered your parents, not to worry, let’s go build some hospitals. To end the tale, Jesus shows for the icing on the cake, and the reappearance of that oh so shrewd “enemy”:

De Verazze continues: “The enemy conspired again to ruin Julian—disguised as a weak pilgrim, he was let in by Julian with the others. At midnight he woke up and made a mess of the house.” The following morning Julian saw the damage and swore never to let in anyone else in his home. He was so furious he had everyone leave. “And Jesus went to him, again as a pilgrim, seeking rest. He asked humbly, in the name of God, for shelter. But Julian answered with contempt: ‘I shall not let you in. Go away, for the other night I had my home so vandalized that I shall never let you in.’ And Christ told him ‘Hold my walking-stick, please.’ Julian, embarrassed, went to take the stick, and it stuck to his hands. And Julian recognized him at once and said ‘He tricked me, the enemy who does not want me to be your faithful servant. But I shall embrace you, I do not care about him; and for your love I shall give shelter to whoever needs.’ He knelt and Jesus forgave him, and Julian asked, full of repentance, forgiveness for his wife and parents. Some versions skip the second mistake and tell of an angel visiting Julian and announcing to him that he is forgiven.

Some versions of the story have Julianus giving up his bed to a leper, and surprise, the leper is Jesus! I had no idea that a sticky walking stick was an easy way to recognise Jesus. Early christians never could be bothered to come up with their own stories, they built off much older stories, and generally failed to do any editing, so you end up with very sticky messes like this one. The one thing which always does stand out is the complete lack of morality on the part of the players. Personally, I could never have forgiven Julianus for being such a gullible dumbfuck. Let’s see, how does one avoid murdering their parents? Seems easy to me, you just don’t commit murder, especially sneaking into bedrooms and stabbing people in their sleep.

Most of this story is via Wiki, and of course, St. Julianus is revered to this day, all over the place. You can thank St. Agatha and her breasts for this saintly distraction.