Who Are You? (Owl Impression)

Politics, amirite?  Hooboy.  This will be the last article in my attempt to top all categories of FtB articles, unless some sneaky fucker edges me out of one of the categories I already topped.  Get it, I’m a top.  I kid, you know I switch.  OK I’m probably a pillow princess but you know I got a bad back.  LL Cool J would rap about banging my girlfriend if I had one.  Remember that line?

OK, so politics, I know I’ve been thinking something about this lately, what was it?  Hm…  Oh yeah.  Last night while I was non-sleeping, I was trying to explain myself to the mute audience in my head, and felt the need to preface my arguments with who I am, politically.  I haven’t felt the need to put that into words much, so here it is.

I’m an personal anarchist.  I think society should have laws but that all people should be willing to break them, as needed, to suit our personal ethos.  Be willing to do the time for your crimes, but be willing to do the crimes you feel are most necessary.

I’m a socialist, maybe even a communist, at the end of the day.  No allegiance to the ghost of the USSR, no worries in that Charly.  I just know that in a world where every inch is owned by either the government or billionaires, there is no room for any person to truly meet all their own needs.

In the USA we live by that myth.  All our laws are constructed around an idea grown more absurd every day, that every person can work, and that the fruit of that labor can be sufficient to care for us through our whole lives.  If we, the poor, can’t have one fucking thing that isn’t fragile as hell, can’t have any social safety net to pick us up when getting worked at this rate inevitably breaks us, then the government needs to step up with cradle-to-grave social services, given generously and without stipulation.  And as far as the commune goes, that isn’t just breaking your back with a hoe.  I think all Hollywood movie-making and corporate art should ultimately be destroyed and replaced with artists working communally to make art for its own sake, profit as incidental rather than the sole motivating factor to make or do anything.  And tech and science and education and child-rearing.  There are many things that can be done communally.

The rich bore me as much as they oppress me.  Their idea of the good life, of what is worthwhile at all, it’s a cosmically bad joke.  I’d be OK with them existing, with their cheek implants and lambos, if they could just leave it at that and not suck us dry at every opportunity.  They can’t be trusted with what they have.  Class war now, babes.

I keed, I keed.  Or do I?  I do.  Unless..?  Ahaha, I had you going.  Or maybe…

EDIT – I DID IT!!!! I’M NUMBER ONE!!!!  for as long as it lasts.

USA People: Escape the Private Sector!

From retail workers who will never escape poverty to techbros striving for their first million, USA people working for private companies are ruthlessly exploited, pushed to the limits of mind and body, and fucked over at every possible turn.  From what I’ve seen, government jobs are more secure and have more built-in protection by far than anything on offer in the private sector.  Looking to escape the boom-bust cycle of getting laid off or bought out every two years, endlessly taking new jobs for fewer and fewer dollars of rapidly decreasing value?  Good news!

The president’s vaccine mandate is passing its late deadline for federal employees (contractors had a more generous timeline), and antivax fuckos are getting bounced from the government en masse!  Job openings galore!  Sure veterans and the disabled get priority, but there will be more than enough jobs to reach the rest of you too.  Go to USAjobs.gov and commit your life to public service.  It isn’t glamorous, but it’s necessary, and so much less brutal than the private sector.  I’m looking at you, Orange Julius and Walmart employees.  Now’s your chance!

Hot Tip to Unionize Video Games Now

Get a load of this shit: Activision-Blizzard Hires Amazon Union-Busting Firm.  As Boots Riley from the Coup said, “If we’re ever gonna do it let’s do it now.”  That is to say, when a government agency in a state with anti-worker wildcat strike laws decides to bring charges against a company for fucking massive systemic sexual harassment, and as employees start to organize, and that is their response?  Workers of the world unite!

The game industry is massive in profits thanks to selling gambling to children, but small in workforce, which makes it extremely vulnerable to labor revolt.  It hasn’t happened yet only because douchebros attach sucking corporate ass product to their sense of manhood and identity, and have stacked the industry with like-minded people.

But the video game industry, like all creative industries, is so vicious and life-draining that even scumbag misogynist right wingers last an average of two years there before flaming out and going back to work at Electronics Boutique.  The sausage is made out of art students and young programmers, and management thinks nothing of it because there’s always a new graduating class to brainrape (or sometimes just physically rape).

So here’s how you do it.  Organize their asses before they leave the schools.  You can’t do this at one school or you’ll just get the grads there shadowbanned.  You need to hit them all at the same time.  There are not that many schools producing video game creators.  Find them, do not involve the faculty in any way, and infiltrate their shit.  Full court propaganda press.

You get enough traction and make these vampire businesses face a united group of graduates saying NO.  I don’t have the time to do a two year unpaid internship, or take starvation wages.  NO.  It is not acceptable to make drinking to excess normal during business hours.  NO.  Seriously, your entire fucking culture must die, now, so that the silly people who love video games enough to want to make them can stop being chewed up and shit out.  Having a dream should not make you into so much bloody meat for billionaire pit bulls.

Video game workers of the world unite.  You have nothing to lose but your mass exploitation.