Sexist Crafting and Homophobic Chicken – What Businesses Do You Boycott?

It’s really quite unfortunate that capitalism fuses itself with politics and social issues. Sometimes I don’t know how to fight back other than not give them my business. Money is what matters most to them, right?

That Online Giant

I am often amazed by Amazon and order from there often. You can order just about anything you want and it shows up on your doorstep one to two days later. How do they do that?

My husband avoids Amazon as much as possible. It seems to be a morals vs. convenience situation and he took the high road.

My husband is very passionate about politics and social justice, and workers’ rights are very important to him.

But There Are Others…

My husband will not fill up at a BP station. He will drive to another part of town if he has to. This goes back to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico in 2010.

He’s not alone in boycotting businesses. I do it, too.

I will not shop at Hobby Lobby or eat at Chick-fil-A. I’ve avoided those businesses for years. 

Chick-fil-A is very popular where we live and I stew in my anger every time I go by and see their drive-thru line so long that it’s spilling out into the street. 

Hobby Lobby is easy for me to avoid. I shopped there occasionally before the insurance and birth control issues and I was always annoyed by the plethora of Christian items. Besides, Michael’s is better anyway. 

 

I would love to hear what businesses you avoid.

Family Planning – Why Do I Feel Guilty?

Many years ago when my husband and I were thinking of getting engaged, we decided we wanted children. We wanted at least two because my husband and I had good experiences with our siblings.

We were married for six years when we had our daughter. Early in our marriage, we were not in a good place financially to start a family, but after six years it felt like the right time.

Except for some pretty challenging morning sickness, the pregnancy and birth went smoothly. Everyone was happy and healthy.

At the time I had my daughter, I still thought there would be another baby in my future – but not right away. My husband agreed and I had an IUD placed.

A Change of Heart That Changed Our Plans

A few years passed and the idea of another baby made me nervous. I waited. I drug my feet. I could tell my husband was getting antsy and let’s face it – we were getting older. Maybe that window of opportunity was starting to close so I decided to have my IUD removed.

That didn’t last long.

When I thought about having another baby, I felt dread. There was a pit in my stomach. I thought about how costly and stressful it would be and about the sacrifices I would have to make.

After about three months, I told my husband I changed my mind. I decided to go on the pill. He was outwardly supportive but I know deep down I broke his heart.

Did I make the right choice?

Birth Control and Birthdays

I have been on the pill now for over a year and overall I am happy with my life.

I have a part-time job I love, ample time to write as well as time to spend with my husband and daughter. We have a cute little house perfect for our little family.

A second child doesn’t fit in the picture.

Later this year I will be turning forty and I feel there’s no turning back now. I hope I made the right decision. I wonder if I’ll regret not having more children when I’m older – when having more children would no longer be possible. I feel guilty for not giving my husband something he longs for – something we agreed upon many years ago.

It is tough being a woman of child-bearing age when life-changing decisions have to be made. I’m grateful the decision was mine. Despite the guilt and regrets, it’s so important that I had a say.

Right now I just don’t want to change a thing.

Secular Easter Plans

Does anyone have any fun Easter plans?

We don’t make a big deal of Easter. If the weather is nice, we hide eggs around the yard for my daughter to find. My daughter is not a morning person. She tends to sleep in so it’s really nice that I don’t have to get up too early to hide the eggs.  After the egg hunt, we give my daughter her Easter basket with books, candy, and a couple of small toys.

My daughter is turning six at the end of the month and I wonder how much longer she will believe in the Easter Bunny. I was her age when I stopped believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I never even made it to the tooth fairy.

How old were you guys when you stopped believing? Did you ever believe?

I think it’s interesting that the two major Christian holidays have popular elements that have nothing to do with Jesus. But you have to admit, as a kid Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are way more exciting than salvation. 

Happy Easter – if and however you celebrate it!

Adjusting to Being Home from Treatment

Seven weeks ago today I was discharged from a treatment center for eating disorders, and while I’m happy to be back with my family, coming home has been difficult.

I’m still following a meal plan which will probably continue for several months or at least until my hunger and satiety cues return.

I have doctor’s appointments, therapy appointments, dietician appointments, etc. and I’m tired.

I just want a day to not think about my eating disorder but that’s not happening anytime soon.

I wrote a lot while I was at the treatment center. Here’s a poem from a dark time:

 

At the Saddest Place on Earth

At the saddest place on earth,
sleep only comes when it’s been drowned in tears.
The darkest moment
is when the light starts to breakthrough.

At the saddest place on earth,
forgiveness can only come from yourself
if it comes at all.
To get your freedom back you must surrender.

At the saddest place on earth,
you are very alone
and everyone is watching.
Time goes fast or not at all.

At the saddest place on earth,
smiles shatter and despair prevails.
You wear your brain inside-out
but first, you must sit through the pain.

 

I know my present is not my forever so I will just keep moving forward.

Religion creeps in at work again…

Oh, man.

So I’m working on a newsletter at work and I had to interview a coworker. She answered my questions by saying “trust god” and also quoted the bible. 

My boss said it’s okay to put her answers in the newsletter despite the religious references. 

I was so uncomfortable.

The organization I work for is not affiliated with a religion so I don’t understand why we can’t just say “no religion at work”. It seems like a common-sense rule and everyone would be respected.

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt uncomfortable at work due to religious coworkers. 

Ugh! Any advice?

I was so excited to work on this newsletter until this happened.

Can you believe in a higher power and still be an atheist?

Can you believe in a “higher power” and still be an atheist? Does a “higher power” automatically refer to a god?

My husband is not an atheist. He doesn’t consider himself a part of any group or religion, but he does believe that there’s an energy that connects all living things. That’s about it. He doesn’t get very specific about it.

What’s funny is that I recently met someone with the exact same belief. She didn’t want to be considered a part of any group or religion either.

So my question is: can you believe in a higher power and not a god? Does that still make you an atheist?

Back to work, back to life! Upcoming speaking engagement…

I will be speaking to the Humanist Community of Silicon Valley on March 27th at 11am pacific. It feels good to be getting back on track after two months in treatment!

I am back to a somewhat normal routine and will be starting at my part-time job again on Monday. I have a meal plan I am following as well as an outpatient treatment team to meet with. My hunger signals are starting to come back which is a good sign. I missed my family so much while I was in treatment and I’m so happy to be home!

Go On and Cook — recovery poetry and update

Go On and Cook

Close your eyes
if you can’t see –
others will walk
you through it.
Your brain will lie,
mirrors will deceive you,
but what matters
is what’s boiling
on the inside.
Turn down the gas
and bring it to a simmer.
The truth lies
somewhere in the bubbles.
Open your eyes
when you’re ready.
See what the world
has to offer.
In this journey
you can stand the heat
with the help of others –
no matter what you cook.

 

This is day number 30 in treatment. On Monday I will be stepping down to a lower level of care. My eating disorder takes many forms — I have symptoms of anorexia, avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID), and rumination disorder. I have been writing my butt off. I am currently on journal number 4.