How often does your atheism come up?

Just curious. How often does your atheism come up in your daily life? Do you talk about it? Do others ask you about it? 

Prior to my book being released, I was in the closet. My family and close friends knew I was an atheist, but that’s about it. I would even let people assume I was a Christian — whatever got me through the day safely. 

Now my book is out there for the world to see and I’m no longer hiding. 

I’m more open, but to my surprise, it doesn’t really come up that often. Even some of my coworkers know about my book — still nothing. 

In the past few months since my book was released, no one has debated me. No one has invited me to church. No one has told me I’m going to burn in hell.

I was expecting some serious opposition, but to my pleasant surprise, it just hasn’t happened. 

Don’t get me wrong, there’s still some fear there and I definitely don’t go looking for trouble. 

But just maybe things will be okay.

How about you? Do people talk to you about being an atheist? Does it come up in your daily life?

Humanism and Poetry Video

This past Sunday I was a guest presenter for the Humanist Association of San Diego’s Sunday Zoom meeting on humanism and poetry. I always get so nervous about these things but this one I really enjoyed. I read some poems from my book and other members of the group shared their poems as well. Here is the video from the meeting:

Naked Confidence: Sex and Eating Disorder Recovery (Poem and Memoir Update)

I’ve been working really hard on my memoir about atheism and mental health, and that’s the main reason I haven’t been blogging as much lately. It’s coming along nicely and I can’t wait to share it with everyone. It will be published by Freethought House just like my recent poetry book, Free to Roam: Poems from a Heathen Mommy. 

I’m happy to say the memoir will also include a few poems. This one is called “Naked Confidence” and it is included in a short section about having sex when you have an eating disorder. 

When I was younger and really struggling with my eating disorder, I preferred to have sex in the dark to hide my flaws. I was thin and pretty but always worried about what I looked like while having sex. It was a chore. I had sex to please my partner but rarely enjoyed it myself. It was pretty sad — I was young and should have been having fun.

Fast forward to today — I’m older, overweight, and married to my husband for 11 years. I love having sex — with the lights on. I feel confident with my husband and we have sex more now than when we were first married.

This poem is about finding your confidence and enjoying sex. 


Naked Confidence

Nourish me.
My body,
soft and feminine,
has an appetite.
Touch me.
Graze your fingertips
over my smooth milky curves.
Flip the switch —
no longer in the dark.
I let go
and have fun.
The taste of your lips
gives me tingles.
I want you,
but I must put myself
first sometimes.
My amazing body
needs to be loved
by me
before I can enjoy
time with you.
So I smile,
and show you what I want.
This is my revolution.

I will post updates as the memoir progresses.

A Secular Childhood: Letters to My Daughter — no. 28 “Kindergarten”

Dear daughter,

You’ve been in kindergarten for three weeks now and we are still getting used to the new schedule. You and I wake up bright and early and get ready for the day. We are both painfully aware that neither one of us is a morning person. 

Despite that, I shower and put on make-up while you get a little breakfast. We get dressed and I drop you off at school. Every day I fight back tears as I walk you to the door. I really hope you haven’t noticed. Sometimes you cry, too.

Letting you grow up is hard. I want to keep you in my arms but I have to let you go. 

I think about you during the day. Are you making friends? Did you eat lunch? Did you have fun in gym class? 

This is a big deal right now, but I’m hoping the anxiety will soon die down. Pretty soon I’ll be dropping you off at school and we won’t think twice about it.

Daughter — despite the drama of the mornings, I want you to enjoy school. You’re going to learn so much. Be a sponge and take it all in. It’s so important.

I love you but now it’s time for you to gain a little independence and learn. 




Can you be an atheist and also believe in the paranormal?

I belong to an amazing group on Facebook called “Chill AF Atheist Women”. It is so nice to interact with a group of progressive, like-minded women. Their posts go from heartbreaking to hilarious and everything in between. It’s a good place to go for advice and you can’t usually say that about the internet. I love being a part of this group. 

Anyway, not too long ago in this group, I saw this question asked — “Can you be an atheist and also believe in ghosts?” To my surprise, not only did many of the women believe in ghosts, some had had first-hand paranormal experiences.

I have strong feelings about this topic. Many of you know I have schizoaffective disorder. I was diagnosed at 21 and today live a very normal life thanks to medication. Before treatment, I had visual and auditory hallucinations that I referred to as “ghosts”. I would believe that places were haunted and that people were possessed. It was a whole new world for me when antipsychotic medication stopped my hallucinations. 

Today I don’t believe in the paranormal. I think there’s an earthly explanation for everything. I don’t doubt people have experiences; I just think there must be explanations — even if we don’t have that explanation yet. 

Also, sometimes I think believing in ghosts is admitting people have souls, and I don’t believe in that either. 

So what do you think? Can you believe in the paranormal as an atheist? Do you believe in ghosts? Have you ever had a paranormal experience?