A new job has me feeling anxious.

I’m finally in a place health-wise where I can take on a little more. I’ve been looking for a second job to work nights and weekends, and I’ve found one!

I had a job interview Monday and was hired on the spot. I will be working at an arts and crafts store starting in July. I’m very excited!

But also nervous. When you start a new job, you usually don’t know who you’ll be working with. I hope my supervisor and coworkers are nice.

I always feel like I have so much to hide when I first meet people. I’m an atheist with schizoaffective disorder.

I’ve worked in the mental health field for the past seventeen years, so when I talk about having schizoaffective disorder, for the most part, my coworkers and supervisors have been understanding. 

Working outside of mental health, I feel like people will doubt my abilities if I come right out with it, so I’m going to keep it on a need-to-know basis. I don’t anticipate any problems as I’ve been doing really well, but if it becomes an issue I will be honest.

Then there’s the atheism. I just don’t talk about it. I’m just hoping I don’t have to tolerate too much religion in the workplace like I sometimes do at my current job. (At least I’m not working at Hobby Lobby!)

It might seem a little surprising, but where I live, I would rather tell people that I’m mentally ill than an atheist. People seem to be more understanding about schizoaffective disorder because it’s obviously not a choice.

In my dream world, I would become so comfortable at the arts and crafts store that I can truly be myself, but in reality, I am going in with my guard up.

Any words of advice?

On a side note…one huge perk to my new job is the thirty percent employee discount! Imagine how much I will save on all the art supplies I buy!

I’m doing well and god had nothing to do with it!

I feel like I’m starting a new chapter in life. For the past couple of days, I’ve been completely pain-free. I’m not tired, I’m not sore, and I feel really good. 

And I have a job interview next week!

This weekend we are having a garage sale. Our house has been so cluttered. It’s stifling. It feels so good to be getting rid of so much stuff! With everything we’ve been going through, it almost feels symbolic. Out with the old, in with the new!

I’ve been through so much shit the past couple of years, and things are finally looking up. I appreciate all the people who said they were praying for me, but god had nothing to do with it. I’m giving myself credit. I pulled through.

Humans are resilient creatures. We need to give ourselves credit. I’d love to hear some stories! What have you overcome in life? Let’s give ourselves a pat on the back! We made it!

Art Show: True Beauty 2024

My piece, “Flower in Her Hair”, is in an art show that opened today! I promise this isn’t another flower show. Check it out here.

Thank you for your support! I just keep bouncing back and forth between writing poetry and drawing. I feel so grateful to have the opportunity to do the things I love, and there’s just so much I want to do!


I’ve been feeling a little down lately. Even though I’m no longer using crutches, recovering from knee surgery is taking longer than I thought, and it’s frustrating. I’m still a little sore and tired, and my activity is unfortunately still limited. Last week, I mowed the lawn and took a walk around the block. I definitely pushed it a little too far. I was planning on mowing the lawn again tomorrow, and I cried when I told my husband that he should do it instead of me. I don’t like feeling helpless. 

This whole experience has made me think about independence in general. I’m not a very independent person, but now, after having to depend on my husband for everything, I really want to become more independent. Where I stand now, if something ever happened to my husband, I think I’d be screwed. I depend on my husband financially and really lean on him when I’m feeling anxious (which is often). I just want to learn to do more things on my own.

I have been looking for a second job, and I am going to get a little more serious about it once my knee feels better. I think when I’m able to contribute more financially, and even just being out of the house more, I will feel a little more independent. 

Is independence important to you? What do you do to make sure you can stand on your own two feet? 


Edit to add: I have a job interview!!!

Mother (poem)

Lonely as the quiet of the winter,
her body stood like the ghost of a skyscraper –
once strong, now empty.
Emerald leaves whisper in the breeze –
lullabies grounded in comfort.
She knows her station in this world –
stoic and still.
Her strength and beauty
a fixture in the backdrop –
forgotten but always present.