I guess the good news is that someone still has a heart! And, it’s a dude who thinks women are people, no less!
Death to Squirrels
by Iris Vander Pluym
I guess the good news is that someone still has a heart! And, it’s a dude who thinks women are people, no less!
[CONTENT NOTE: sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape and rape culture.)
You know, I have not been able to write about Afghanistan, and this is mainly because I have not been able to think coherently about Afghanistan.* See, I get flooded with All the Feelz, and flashbacks to the war crimes of the Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld-Rice regime, CIA black sites, serious debates at the highest levels of government and across mainstream media platforms about the pros, cons, legality and morality of torture FFS, and every single evil spawned from U.S. conservative war lovers** since the events of 9/11, which were traumatic enough for me thankyouverymuch, and right up to and including the suicide bombing at a Kabul airport gate today.
Nevertheless, I was struck by a sentence in this morning’s New York Times email briefing:
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a fan of the activist group Roots Action: one of their particular charms in my opinion is that their email campaign messaging is very good, and they allow users to tweak it and add to it, or even overwrite it entirely, before forwarding it on to one’s congresscritters. As you might imagine, sometimes that opportunity is too tempting for me to pass up.
Today via email, the good people at Roots Action offered up just such a tasty treat: an entirely editable missive to both my senators demanding they vote against President Biden’s nominee for U.S. ambassador to Japan, that ratfucker Rahm Emanuel. It also urges them to announce their intent to do so publicly.
Here is the email with some background; unfortunately it does not come close to cataloging all the things I despise about this nominee. But then, ain’t nobody got that kind of time on their hands.
Ya gotta laugh. Or, you know, cry. Either way, there is something very, very wrong and/or hilarious about the conservative mind.
-Iris Vander Pluym, Art Critic.
__________
EXACTLY, Amy. I’m pretty sure that people who do gender reveals are conservative, at least with respect to sex role stereotypes. And those kinds of ideas never seem to travel alone. In other words: eew!
I think if I’d ever had a kid, I might have done a gender reveal just to fuck with the conservatives in my family. I’d make a multi-layer red velvet cake, with each layer consisting of a few different colors of batter roughly swirled together, just like I did for my sister’s birthday that one time. (If I can find a pic I’ll post it later.)
When I’d cut into it, every slice would have a rainbow of colors in it, at which point I’d announce “It’s a gender! Or maybe agender! Who the fuck cares and what the fuck is wrong with you people?”
[CUE: music, disco lighting and ecologically-friendly rainbow confetti.
Read the whole thing if you can stomach it. I could not.
photo taken during 1/6 insurrection of Jeezus carrying his infamous cross Trump flag in the U.S. Senate, while actor Steve Buscemi looms menacingly behind him. (via AP)
According to the Associated Press, the Christian deity will be the first to face sentencing for a felony today in connection with the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. It also turns out that Jeezus hails from Florida BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES.
Further, in a development that has been suspiciously underreported, actor Steve Buscemi appears to be right there, insurrectin’ right along with Jeezus, as you can plainly see for yourself in the above image.
Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld dies at 88: family
Regarded by former colleagues as equally smart and combative, patriotic and politically cunning, Rumsfeld had a storied career under four presidents and nearly a quarter-century in corporate America.
Read the Latest
Or…don’t. I care about as much about the details surrounding Rumsfeld’s death as he cared about Iraqi civilians. LET’S DANCE!
Former New York lawyer
Rudy “Nosferatu” Giuliani
(L) and/or (R).
Happy dance, everybody! No, he’s not dead (he’s undead, and possibly immortal like Dick Cheney, who has no pulse). However, the odious former mayor of New York City got a little taste of justice today.
Rudy Giuliani’s apartment raided by FBI: report
The FBI raided Rudy Giuliani’s apartment Wednesday morning in connection with the ongoing investigation into his dealings in Ukraine, according to a report.
Read the Latest [at New York Daily News]
Will they find his crypt?
BREAKING NEWS ALERT via Washington Post:
Georgia lawmakers pass sweeping voting bill that would curtail the use of drop boxes and allow challenges to voting eligibility
The measure, which also expands early voting hours and makes it a crime to give voters food and water while they wait in line, now goes to the desk of Republican Gov. Brian Kemp, who has not yet announced whether he will sign it.
That’s right: this law “makes it a crime to give voters food and water while they wait in line” to exercise their right to vote. It’s still early in the season, but it’s certainly an ambitious entry for this year’s pettiest voter suppression law!
Still, I can’t help but think perhaps these assholes haven’t quite thought this through. For instance, I wonder whether there’s a (pro-business!) loophole wherein it’s not a crime to sell voters food and water while they wait in line to vote. Or whether the state’s police forces are actually on board with assigning hundreds of officers to enforce this statute on election day, especially when relations between Georgia’s police forces and its minority citizens ain’t exactly copacetic.
I also wonder whether they remembered to grant to themselves and the police officers who enforce the law full immunity from criminal prosecution and civil suits, after some diabetic dies in line when their blood sugar crashes and no one can offer them anything sweet to bring it back up. Or when someone requires emergency medical attention due to severe dehydration.
Maybe I’m overthinking this and worrying for nothing. I mean, it’s not like people in Georgia ever have to wait in line for eleven hours to vote! (Oh wait.)
Now before you get to thinking this law is obviously racially motivated because – as we can all predict with a pretty high level of certainty – it will never be enforced in majority white voting districts, rest assured that this is not the case at all! This law, by constitutional standards, is “racially neutral.” You see, it simply cannot be enforced in majority white districts, because those districts don’t have lines. DUH! No racism to see here, people! Nope, none at all.
I wonder who will try to out-petty Georgia with their voter suppression laws next? I have a feeling it won’t be very long before we have another strong contender.
