BREAKING: Me + my commenters = “truly sick @$$holes.”

O NOEZ! It seems my post yesterday alerting readers to the death of human-shaped shitbag Rush Limbaugh and announcing the immediate commencement of the traditional grave dancing has caused grave (<-hahaha) offense. And grave offense was taken not only at my post, but at your amusing comments too.

Yes, this morning at 9:42 EST, someone with the handle “Dakota Al”* (whose email address is alandmoller@gmail.com) took time out of her or his or their busy day to enlighten us all with this important information:

You people are truly sick. Good luck with your newly appointed dictatorship ….. assholes.

I just thought you should all know right away.

I think in response, I just want to reply with something I retweeted yesterday:

“how would YOU like it if Republicans celebrate when YOU die???”

If I live my life in such a way that Republicans celebrate my death I’ll have achieved success beyond my wildest dreams

I’ll just keep right on dancing as I eagerly await my marching instructions from my newly appointed dictator.

__________
*Did I ever tell you about that one time I mailed actual coat hangers to every one of the Republicans (and some Dems) in the South Dakota state legislature who had just passed a statute outlawing all abortions? I included a personal note too, helpfully advising them to keep this very important tool handy for their wives, girlfriends, daughters, mistresses and/or themselves, because as anyone even slightly familiar with the abortion issue knows, outlawing abortions does nothing to stop them, it only maims and kills people who are pregnant and do not wish to be so. I signed off as The Coathanger Lobby. FUN TIMES.

But the whole thing was a time consuming and expensive undertaking, so I switched tactics. When I go for my annual pap smear, I have my gynecologist take a picture of my vaginal canal and cervix, so I can simply send the image as a courtesy to lawmakers and other conservatives who are inexplicably obsessed with what goes into and/or comes out of there. Surely they’ve been pleased to learn that my ladyjunk is in good working order.

FANTASTIC NEWS for anti-choice d00ds!

All you misogynist motherfuckers can now live out your shitty convictions with your very own bodies!

[D]octors at Baylor University say a woman born without a uterus has delivered a baby after a successful transplant, the first time the surgery has worked outside of the Swedish hospital that pioneered the procedure.

That’s right: no uterus? No problem! Anti-choice d00ds, now you can save the preshuss baybeez in your own implanted uterus!

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I sure do love the smell of burning conservatives.

Well lookee here.

Rep. Tim Murphy resigns from Congress after allegedly asking woman to have abortion

Rep. Tim Murphy told House leaders on Thursday that he will resign from Congress this month, a day after the eight-term Pennsylvania Republican announced that he would not seek another term amid a personal scandal.

Personal scandal? Oh do tell…

The resignation of Murphy, a clinical psychologist, comes after a news report claimed that the married Republican had asked a woman with whom he had an extramarital affair to get an abortion.

Murphy is a member of the House Pro-Life Caucus and was a co-sponsor of a Republican bill approved Tuesday that bans most abortions after 20 weeks of fetal development.

Also: FUCK YOU CONSERVATIVES.

 

 

Whose pain matters?

Since there are currently no pressing problems facing our great nation, the US House of Reprehensibles has just passed HB 36, a national ban on abortions after 20-weeks. Charmingly entitled “The Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act,” the legislation would force a pregnant patient who is carrying a fetus that is dead, dying, or incompatible with life to carry it to term and give birth, unless the patient is in grave danger of death or “substantial and irreversible physical impairment of a major bodily function.”

According to reality, fetuses are not capable of feeling pain until at least 28 weeks. But since conservatives are highly allergic to reality, perhaps Your Liberal Media™ might helpfully report on this egregious tripe from another angle. Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that a fetus is indeed capable of feeling pain at 20 weeks.

SO FUCKING WHAT?

You know what’s really painful? Giving birth. (So I’ve heard – I personally dodged that bullet thank Vishnu.) I would like my legislator to promptly propose a bill entitled The Pain-Capable Pregnant Person Protection Act, which provides free abortions on demand to anyone who wishes to avoid the pain of childbirth. The bill should have no problem passing in this congress, seeing how the majority is so concerned about sparing citizens from painful medical procedures.

Why I despise religious leaders, conservative Democrats and The New York Times, Reason No. 918,287,499.

[CONTENT NOTE: abortion rights.]

If I had known it was a link to the Times, I never would have clicked on it. But in my defense, I was reading a decent if lightweight article about Rep. Maxine Waters [h/t Alyssa] elsewhere, when I happened upon this passage:

Waters’ forthright condemnation of right-wing media came as a relief—and a rallying point—for Democrats sick of mainstream articles urging them to abandon abortion advocacy, or talk less about trans rights, or stop speaking out against sexism and racism. Critics have argued that these moves are necessary to broaden the party’s appeal and win back white working-class voters who swung from Barack Obama to Trump, and are credited with winning the election.

What fuckery is this? I wondered. How and why would “mainstream articles” possibly justify such demonstrably counterproductive nonsense?

So I clicked on “abortion advocacy.” And down the NYT rabbit hole I went.

Fuck.

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I guess these are the conservatives with whom we’re supposed to “compromise”? Haha no.

[CONTENT NOTE: graphic descriptions of fetal remains and menstrual blood; no images.]

Via Rewire:

Texas Officials to Force Burial, Cremation of ‘Fetal Remains’

Texas health officials on Monday filed the final version of proposed rules requiring the remains of aborted or miscarried fetuses to be buried or cremated, despite criticism from funeral homes, abortion providers, and reproductive rights advocates.

The regulations will apply to all fetal remains, regardless of the period of gestation when the miscarriage or abortion occurred.

O.o

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