The Abattoir is quickly expanding its involuntary organ donor pool – we are now operating in Australia!
It turns out some prominent Australians feel so very strongly about other people involuntarily donating organs, it is only fair and just that they live by this principle themselves.
Thanks to commenters gijoel and mathscatherine, who provided candidate names and links to evidence that unquestionably qualifies these donors, we are now happily harvesting organs from:
- Bernie Finn, Victoria, Australia “Liberal” MP.
(qualifying criteria: commenting on unwanted pregnancies resulting from rape, “Babies should not be killed for the crime of his or her parent.”)
- Tony Abbott, former prime minister of Australia.
(qualifying criteria: calling abortion decriminalization “effectively infanticide on demand.”)
Remember, people: our mission is SAVING LIVES of children, women, and men who die every single day for lack of a life-saving donor organ. #savingbabies #prolife
And today’s news alerted us to a Very Special donor:
- Susan DeLemus, New Hampshire state Rep. (qualifying criteria: had a safe and legal abortion, and now yells “Murderers!” at abortion rights protesters; advocate for “legislation that would give a biological father the right to block a woman’s abortion in court.”)
I’m tempted to take both of her kidneys. But that would be very, very wrong…
Or would it? Would it really?
See, I’m envisioning a lottery system where, sadly, 23.8 of every 100,000 involuntary organ donors will die as a direct result of organ harvesting(s). This means we can expand our program to extract hearts for transplant, not to mention entire livers. We’d also take both lungs, both corneas, and both kidneys, as well as the pancreas and all of the bone marrow. And we can do it all in a single operation, thus saving time and costs to the donor’s estate. A single dying donor can save 8 lives, thus multiplying our program’s impact significantly.
Thinking further, in accordance with our social justice mission specifically with regard to race, the odds of an involuntary donor incidentally dying as a direct result of organ harvesting must take race into account based on the most recent statistics:
Perhaps someone with a screen name like, say, mathscatherine, can design the Abattoir’s incidental death lottery program accordingly.
HOW YOU CAN HELP
We are always seeking volunteers to nominate qualified candidates for involuntary organ donation. All you need to do is comment with their name (or group name, if all members qualify), and a link citation providing solid evidence of their strongly felt view that other people should be forced to donate organs without consent.