BREAKING: Abattoir goes international, welcomes new involuntary organ donors!

Black & white photo of equipment and staff at a U.S. Army medical facility circa WWI.

The Abattoir is quickly expanding its involuntary organ donor pool – we are now operating in Australia!

It turns out some prominent Australians feel so very strongly about other people involuntarily donating organs, it is only fair and just that they live by this principle themselves.

Thanks to commenters gijoel and mathscatherine, who provided candidate names and links to evidence that unquestionably qualifies these donors, we are now happily harvesting organs from:


  • Bernie Finn, Victoria, Australia “Liberal” MP.
    (qualifying criteria: commenting on unwanted pregnancies resulting from rape, “Babies should not be killed for the crime of his or her parent.”)
  • Tony Abbott, former prime minister of Australia.
    (qualifying criteria: calling abortion decriminalization “effectively infanticide on demand.”)


Remember, people: our mission is SAVING LIVES of children, women, and men who die every single day for lack of a life-saving donor organ. #savingbabies #prolife

And today’s news alerted us to a Very Special donor:

  • Susan DeLemus, New Hampshire state Rep. (qualifying criteria: had a safe and legal abortion, and now yells “Murderers!” at abortion rights protesters; advocate for “legislation that would give a biological father the right to block a woman’s abortion in court.”)

I’m tempted to take both of her kidneys. But that would be very, very wrong…

Or would it? Would it really?

See, I’m envisioning a lottery system where, sadly, 23.8 of every 100,000 involuntary organ donors will die as a direct result of organ harvesting(s). This means we can expand our program to extract hearts for transplant, not to mention entire livers. We’d also take both lungs, both corneas, and both kidneys, as well as the pancreas and all of the bone marrow. And we can do it all in a single operation, thus saving time and costs to the donor’s estate. A single dying donor can save 8 lives, thus multiplying our program’s impact significantly.

Thinking further, in accordance with our social justice mission specifically with regard to race, the odds of an involuntary donor incidentally dying as a direct result of organ harvesting must take race into account based on the most recent statistics:

A bar chart indicating by color the maternal mortality rates by race for 2018, 2019, and 2020, showing 2020 rates per 100,000 births for Blacks, Hispanics, and Non-Hispanic Whites at 55.3, 18.2, and 19.1, respectively. All numbers are shown increasing from 2018-2020.

Perhaps someone with a screen name like, say, mathscatherine, can design the Abattoir’s incidental death lottery program accordingly.



We are always seeking volunteers to nominate qualified candidates for involuntary organ donation. All you need to do is comment with their name (or group name, if all members qualify), and a link citation providing solid evidence of their strongly felt view that other people should be forced to donate organs without consent.

Happy hunting!


  1. dianne says

    You could argue for including the people who provide the (legally required) “counseling” that is intended to talk women out of having an abortion in Germany. I’m not 100% clear on how much guilt they should bear, since it is a legal requirement. OTOH, no particular person is required to give said “counseling” so they did volunteer in some sense.

  2. Cuttlefish says

    There are accidents and incidents
    And surgeries and wars—
    There’s a constant need for blood, and so,
    We’d like to borrow yours.

    You can spare a pint or so a month—
    We’ll take it from your arm—
    And to make the process easier,
    I’m setting up a farm:

    We’ll keep you while you serve your term,
    Three-quarters of a year,
    And harvest blood and marrow—
    For the greater good, it’s clear

    You’ll be saving lives by dozens
    So you’ll gladly do your part
    Sure, we’re forcing your donation
    Still, it’s coming from your heart

    You’re in servitude to others
    It’s a slavery of sorts
    But you’re saving lives, and so we know
    You’re good and willing sports

    You can put your wishes second
    You can put your life on hold
    You can meet your obligations
    You can do what you are told

    You claim rights we cannot trample
    Or shout “Freedom!” till you’re hoarse
    You have life inside your bloodstream…
    If we have to, we’ll use force

    To complain’s unpatriotic—
    But extremists raise their voice
    And they’ll blather “it’s my body”
    And the foolish “it’s my choice”

    If the state controls your body
    Then that argument’s a dud;
    For the sake of someone else, then,
    We’ll be harvesting your blood.

  3. says

    Crip Dyke: I’ve been through three screens of google results for Chuck Todd quotes on abortion, to no avail. Not sayin’ that he doesn’t deserve a prime slot, I just don’t have the time to dig for it.

    dianne: Yeah, that one I’m not on board with… I’ve come across more than one anecdote from a doctor and/or others who work at abortion clinics in those states with “counseling” mandates. They preface the “counseling” with something like “the state requires me to say these words to you.” And hopefully roll their eyes and snort while they do it.

    Cuttlefish! (So honored and happy to see you here!) LOVE. And exactly, precisely, spot on.

  4. says

    Shit, sorry, Iris!

    I should have been more specific. He has been a political host for years and though he doesn’t himself say such things, he has made a habit of having conservative Republicans on who lie through their teeth about abortion (and other topics).

    I guess he’s more of a platform which others use to attack women’s reproductive rights than an attacker himself. So I completely understand how you might not have room for him.

    That said,
    CUTTLEFISH! I love this!

  5. Ridana says

    Uh, I think it’s 23.8 die per 100,000 donors, rather than 23.8%, or nearly a quarter of them.

  6. dianne says

    Iris @ 5: My understanding (which may be wrong) is that it’s a little different in Germany and that the counseling is done separately from the actual clinic and the people who do it are often religious figures. However, there are so many eligible donors that I don’t see any reason to push this one.

  7. says

    SteveoR: consequences (and the threat of them) is the only thing that ever seems to change human behavior. From your link, it sounds like the members of his party do NOT agree, and may not support him in the next election.

    …whereas in the good ol’ U.S. of A, anti-abortion conservative Democrat incumbent Henry Cuellar (TX-28) is now in a post-primary runoff contest against pro-abortion rights, progressive, immigration attorney Jessica Cisneros. Cuellar is a toady of corporate PACs, Big Oil, etc., and he has been endorsed by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, D-Md., and Caucus Chairman Hakeem Jeffries, D-N.Y., and the Democratic Party leadership power structure is fully behind him. The only thing these motherfuckers hate more than losing to a Republican is losing to a lefty.