So I decided to pick up a free seedling from the religious organization I talked about in a post a couple of days ago. I went back and forth on it.
You guys might think this is weird, but I tend to personify everything, and, well, the tree isn’t religious.
They never mentioned religion or asked for my information so I’m feeling better about it.
My daughter named the tree Lilly.
I know my daughter’s young — she’ll be four on Sunday — but it seems that she may have already been exposed to some rigid standards when it comes to gender. I’m guessing it’s from the other kids at daycare.
I think it’s really interesting when she calls a toy a boy or a girl and what she names it. I like asking her why she identifies it that way. She loves dinosaurs right now and she says all t-rexes are boys and triceratops are girls. When it comes to cartoon characters, she says boys talk louder than girls. Girls talk softly. I brought this up again just yesterday and she said you can always tell a girl by her eyelashes. Then again sometimes so just says “I don’t know” or “poop” and then laughs.
How do I tell my daughter that there are more genders than boys and girls and that sometimes your body doesn’t match your brain — and that all of that is okay? Considering what she may be picking up at daycare I feel I need to approach this subject sooner rather than later.
When I was pregnant I wanted a girl so bad. I really did. My husband and I both lost our mothers and we decided if we ever had a daughter we would name her after them — so we had her name picked out years before she was born. We were so excited that we got to use that name. I don’t know if I will ever tell my daughter this because I don’t want her to feel bad or rejected if she identifies as a gender other than female.
I’m guessing a conversation about gender is ongoing over time. I feel the same way about talking to my daughter about sex. I definitely want to start both of these conversations before she starts school next year.
Have you ever talked to kids about gender? How do you feel it should be approached?
There’s an organization in Toledo that is giving out free Norway Spruce seedlings. Their goal is to give out as many seedlings as there are people in Toledo — 280 thousand some.
I really want a seedling. I’m looking around our yard for a good place. It’s just my daughter and I are really into plants. I actually don’t have a lot of knowledge about plants, but we’re starting to have a nice collection in our house. My daughter names each one and we talk to them a little as we water them. I like to think this will make my daughter a little more respectful of other living things.
Anyway, this organization giving out seedlings is a Catholic organization. Why on earth does an organization whose mission is to plant a bunch of trees have to be associated with a religion?
I still want a seedling, but maybe I should just buy one.
Why does doing anything good have to be associated with god? Can’t you just do good things because you’re a good human?
I had a job a few years back where I had to drive people to food pantries. Sadly, most food pantries in Toledo are associated with a church and many make people sit through prayer or mini-sermon before getting their food. Why is that even necessary? It’s important that people get the help they need, but why does it have to be in god’s name?
I still kinda want a seedling. Do you support an organization doing good work even if it’s a religious organization? Does it make me an asshole if I don’t?
Do you think it’s important to forgive others?
I really hate it when people say you need to forgive others that have wronged you in order to move on. Do you believe that’s true?
Obviously, forgiveness is an important part of Christianity and Jesus — is that where these ideas stem from? I don’t even think I understand the whole notion of forgiveness.
I’m thinking about this right now because I was in an abusive situation with someone at my workplace for 11 months. They were finally kicked out of the program last summer and I’ve dealt with a lot of anxiety and anger ever since. My supervisor referred me to our EAP and I am now in treatment for PTSD.
Could I ever forgive that person? Should I? Would it help anything?
Things have gotten a lot better for me since starting therapy last November, but occasionally those negative thoughts still invade my brain. Tonight seems to be one of those nights.
Christians put a lot of emphasis on this topic, but I don’t think I’ve ever really heard a perspective from a fellow atheist.
Is forgiveness important?
There’s a lot I don’t understand about the bible. Other than the few fairytales I was taught as a child, most of it is a confusing mystery to me.
Yesterday, a commenter suggested Luke 9:26 so I googled it. This is from biblegateway.com:
26 For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of the holy angels.
Can anyone explain that to me? I just read the passage to my husband and asked him if they were damning me to hell. My three-year-old daughter overheard my question and repeated it word-for-word. Whoops. I hope that doesn’t stick.
Also, what do the numbers mean? Why does everybody always quote Luke?
Do you share atheist memes/posts on Facebook?
I share them a lot and I wonder if people are just as annoyed with me as I am of people that share religious memes.
I am proud to be an atheist and for the first time in my life, I’m actually forthcoming and vocal about it. Does that make me an asshole?
I don’t really feel like I’m going to “convert” anyone to atheism so I don’t really know the motive behind my posts other than just revealing a bit about myself.
I definitely don’t want to debate anyone.
What’s you take?
Is anyone else fascinated by “wholesome” shows like “19 Kids and Counting”? Maybe “Sister Wives”? Maybe “wholesome” isn’t the word — shows that document the life of Christians and fundamentalists.
I really don’t know why but I actually sit and watch these shows (much to my husband’s amusement) and find them fascinating. I think it’s just because they show a life that is very different from my own.
Maybe it’s like driving past a car crash. You definitely don’t want to be a part of it, but you still look and wonder what happened.
It’s definitely a guilty pleasure. However, I don’t see it as mindless. It feels like I’m actually being exposed to a different culture. Albeit, through the filter of television.
Does anyone else do this? Will anyone else admit to doing this?
Is prayer a form of meditation? I meditate with mala beads — something of religious origin — to calm down and focus. It has done wonders for my anxiety and serves no spiritual purpose in my life. Do some people pray with the same intent?
Can you pray without asking for anything?
I’ve always seen prayer as a selfish and confusing act. The “god is good” versus “god is mysterious” outcomes are deceptive. God always gets the credit whether he deserves it or not and if he causes something shitty we turn a blind eye.
Prayer has always seemed so mysterious to me. It seems like a waste of time and mental energy, so I wonder why people continue to do it.
It always feels awkward when I attend an event where a prayer is said. Do they think they’re sending their energy through the air? Are they truly absorbing what is said? Do they really think god hears them? Are they paying attention or just going through the motions? I really do have a lot of questions but I’ll look like an asshole if I ask them.
Have you seen the “spot the atheist” meme on Facebook? It shows a post describing a tragic situation with a long string of comments offering prayers. Then one lone comment says “where can I send money to help?” Seems pretty accurate. What’s the saying? Two hands working can do more than two hands clasped in prayer.
If you have any insight on this topic, please share. I’ve never understood prayer.
I like how some commenters have brought up the importance of evidence on past posts. I totally agree with you.
One big difference between theists and atheists is that atheists are flexible and will change their minds if you can back up your claim with evidence. Theists live with blind faith — evidence doesn’t influence their beliefs. If you show me concrete evidence that god exists, I will believe you. Until that day comes, I’m relying on common sense.
I am absolutely baffled when I think about some of the people in my life. How can smart people — the ones who seemingly have their shit together in every other area of their life — sincerely believe in fairytales and obvious lies? The power religion holds is terrifying. It’s like the stories just don’t fit with the rest of your life when your living and working in the present day, yet people still believe them.
What caused me to break the cycle of generations of indoctrination? My parents were both raised in Christian families that went to church on a regular basis. And while I remember being read a couple of children’s bible stories when I was little, it was never pushed on me. When I was really little I can remember going to church a couple of times on Christmas and Easter, but that tapered off quickly as I got older. I would like to think that in most families religious beliefs become a little more relaxed generation after generation, but when I look at some of my friends, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Like I said above, I feel many atheists are flexible and open-minded, so I really have a hard time understanding how theists can be so rigid in their beliefs.
I also really appreciate the comments I have gotten regarding my daughter and my concerns about when she comes in contact with religion. Stressing the importance of evidence sounds like a good plan. I don’t want to be an asshole and just say someone else is wrong. I want my daughter to be skeptical and come to her own conclusions.
Who else is baffled by the theists around them? How do smart people throw common sense out the window?
Twinkle
Call your child down from the sky –
she’s playing with the stars.
She hangs from the crescent moon
and gently blankets the earth in fog.
Descending, swaying
she returns to the ground
in a night owl’s feather
then looks up at you.
The stars have gathered in her eyes.
Never extinguish that brilliant twinkle.
Don’t let it fade with time.
That twinkle will open doors,
open hearts, open minds.
Cheesy? Definitely. But I love how thinking about my daughter’s potential inspires so many of my poems. 🙂