I know my daughter’s young — she’ll be four on Sunday — but it seems that she may have already been exposed to some rigid standards when it comes to gender. I’m guessing it’s from the other kids at daycare.
I think it’s really interesting when she calls a toy a boy or a girl and what she names it. I like asking her why she identifies it that way. She loves dinosaurs right now and she says all t-rexes are boys and triceratops are girls. When it comes to cartoon characters, she says boys talk louder than girls. Girls talk softly. I brought this up again just yesterday and she said you can always tell a girl by her eyelashes. Then again sometimes so just says “I don’t know” or “poop” and then laughs.
How do I tell my daughter that there are more genders than boys and girls and that sometimes your body doesn’t match your brain — and that all of that is okay? Considering what she may be picking up at daycare I feel I need to approach this subject sooner rather than later.
When I was pregnant I wanted a girl so bad. I really did. My husband and I both lost our mothers and we decided if we ever had a daughter we would name her after them — so we had her name picked out years before she was born. We were so excited that we got to use that name. I don’t know if I will ever tell my daughter this because I don’t want her to feel bad or rejected if she identifies as a gender other than female.
I’m guessing a conversation about gender is ongoing over time. I feel the same way about talking to my daughter about sex. I definitely want to start both of these conversations before she starts school next year.
Have you ever talked to kids about gender? How do you feel it should be approached?