Another reason I can’t sleep at night…
Check out this well-written article from a fellow blogger, Oceanoxia:
From the Ashes of Faith
An Atheist Perspective From a Midwest Mom
So here’s a scary thought — I came to this realization while working on my book yesterday about being an atheist with a mental illness:
I am way more willing to share the details of my mental illness than to disclose that I’m an atheist. Even though telling someone you’ve struggled with psychosis is some pretty heavy information, I feel I am more likely to face discrimination and ridicule as an atheist than as someone with a mental illness. It’s just the reality of where I live and work.
I wish I could be open about both — especially since being an atheist has had such a profound impact on my recovery. I feel atheists and believers alike need to hear that story.
I have schizoaffective disorder and have been in treatment for years. I have no problem telling people about my recovery, but it’s only been recently that I’ve told anyone about being an atheist.
Does anyone have a similar experience?
I am working on my book about being an atheist with a mental illness, and in my 17 years of recovery from schizoaffective disorder and an eating disorder, I have noticed a lot of recovery or support programs have a spiritual aspect to them. Almost like you have to have a spiritual side to have any sort of balance in your life. I have included thoughts on this in my book.
I recently read in another book about an atheist not feeling welcome at Alcoholics Anonymous. I decided to check out the famous 12 steps online and I was shocked. God’s all over those steps. I thought maybe I was looking at an outdated document but apparently not.
Just for fun, I wrote my own 12 steps with more empowerment and less god. I’m trying to decide if I should include it in the book.
Does anyone have any experience with AA that they’re willing to share? Not for my book but just for my own curiosity.
I am writing a collection of letters to my daughter of things I hope she’ll learn from a secular childhood. I’m really enjoying this project. Here’s one I wrote about death:
Dear daughter,
I feel like death is a complicated subject when it shouldn’t be. It’s our feelings surrounding death that make things complicated.
I am scared of death, which is natural, but I’m not worried about where I’m going in the afterlife. I’m scared because there’s so much I want to do in life; will I get to do all of those things? Will I have spent enough time with my loved ones?
I recognize my worries are pretty pointless because when you’re dead you’re not aware of your goals and wants anyway. Death is only sad to those still living.
The belief in souls, heaven, and hell really makes the idea of death murky. I have a simpler explanation. Humans are a part of nature — another speck in the universe — and death is just a part of our life cycle. We return to the earth which we’ve always been a part of.
It might be a nice thought to think you’ll live on in people’s memories, but the people with those memories eventually die, too. I’ve heard stories of my ancestors but they seem to fade with every passing generation. It’s definitely not the same as knowing them.
Instead of worrying about death, it’s better to concentrate on enjoying yourself now. Your time could be up at any time, so live your life to the fullest.
My beautiful daughter — I am really enjoying the time I am spending with you right now, and that’s all that really matters.
Love,
Mom
What do you want to tell your kids about death?
I’ve never been shy about sharing my struggles with mental illness. Good, bad, and ugly — I put it out there through artwork, speeches, and writing. I would occasionally get an “I’ll pray for you” to which I say “thanks” and walk away. It’s annoying but that’s probably the safest response considering where I live.
Don’t even get me started on “thoughts and prayers”. That’s a bunch of bullshit. Every time I see a column of “thoughts and prayers” comments on Facebook I cringe. Then I go back to see if there is actually any way to help the situation — not by prayer but by action.
Praying is a way to pretend to care but actually do nothing. Prayer doesn’t help anyone; it only makes the person praying feel better about themself — like they’re being so caring they might score a point with god bringing them one step closer to heaven. Wow. Putting it like that explains just how selfish praying is. The person praying helps themself while others continue to suffer.
When I was growing up I remember all of the prayers at school functions and I was always infuriated about it. (I went to a public school BTW.) So maybe I already had a chip on my shoulder about this topic.
How do you respond when someone says they’ll pray for you or offer you thoughts and prayers?
I’ve been feeling really well and my medications are working. I’m on a good streak right now symptom-wise, but still, on this beautiful summer day, I came home early from work and puked (unintentionally). It’s been a stressful week and apparently, I had met my physical limit. My husband was in a car accident two days ago, and while he’s okay, there’s still a lot we have to take care of. On top of the accident, we had some unexpected expenses this week causing financial stress. As soon as I puked I felt better, but that doesn’t erase everything hanging over my head right now.
I have painfully learned that medications don’t make life easier; they are there to improve your functioning. Hopefully, with better functioning, you can face stressful situations from a more stable place, but medications will not protect you from the unexpected ups and downs of life.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the line between mental illness and the normal human experience, but today it was quite clear. When my head ends up over the toilet it’s time to take a step back and breathe.
Even though medications aren’t going to make my life easier right now, they are still working and I am grateful for that. Symptoms are often caused by stress so if I wasn’t taking my medication, it could be so much worse. This is that place of stability I was talking about.
It’s a common problem among people in recovery — identifying what’s situational and what’s symptomatic. I don’t have a good answer for that, but chances are you will experience both.
I know in my case, taking my medications without fail will give me a better shot at overcoming whatever life throws at me. It’s just I realize that life won’t ever stop throwing things at me. It’s not just me. It’s everyone.
This might sound a bit silly, but when I was younger I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t believe in god. It was almost like I was left out. What’s everyone else seeing that I’m not?
I went to church with friends on a pretty regular basis as a young teen. I thought if I went to church enough, I would understand what everyone else cared so much about.
I just couldn’t force it though. After months, the things that went on at church seemed just as ridiculous as the first time I went.
I think this just proves that no one is born religious. My parents skipped out on the indoctrination part when I was little, so I remained a skeptical blank slate.
Has anyone else tried to force themselves to believe?
A couple of days ago my daughter was working on an art project when she dropped a plate full of sand and glitter onto our rug. She froze for a minute and then looked at me and let out the most adorable and innocent “fuck”. My husband tries so hard not to react when she blurts out a swear word, but I can’t help but laugh. How could I ever be mad about the mess she made after that?
I honestly don’t intervene when my daughter swears. I know she gets it from me. I just think in the grand scheme of things it’s really not a big deal.
My dad really doesn’t like it. I laugh and he tells me it won’t be funny when she gets in trouble at school.
Do kids still get in trouble for swearing at school? I mean, maybe if it was every other word. But for an occasional exclamation? Schools around here do active shooter drills on a regular basis so I would think they would have bigger fish to fry.
I always assumed that keeping your language clean was a WASP thing. Is it different in other areas?
How do you feel? Is it a big deal if your kid swears?
It’s hard to describe my feelings about the current state of the US.
Anger at the dangerous, incompetent asshole in the White House.
Confused as to how he even made it to that position.
Disbelief that my fellow Americans actually voted for him.
Disappointment in the lawmakers who sit idle and do nothing.
Pride in the many people who are now standing up for what’s right — including right here in Toledo.
Regret that I haven’t joined them at a protest.
Shocked by the injustice.
I wish I could say, “I can’t believe it”, but unfortunately I can.
With all of these emotions, I feel the very least I can do is share information from a fellow blogger at Freethought Blogs, Pervert Justice. Please check out and follow their blog. They have personal stories of what’s really going on in Portland. It’s so important that these stories from the protest are distributed to a large audience so that people know the truth.
I truly believe anger can fuel progress and I know the people speaking out are going to make a difference.
In my early twenties, I sought help for an eating disorder. I spent five weeks at a treatment center where I went through a refeeding process and can to terms with my illness. Later I was also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I still take medication to lessen my mood and psychotic symptoms, but it’s actually been a long time since I’ve had any symptoms.
Today, after years of recovery, I have a very nice life. I’ve been working in the mental health field since 2006 and I tend to be a cheerleader for those in recovery. If I can do it, they sure as hell can.
One thing I don’t get to talk about very often is how being an atheist has been beneficial to my recovery. I run into a lot of vocal religious people in this field and I’d really like the chance to share my story.
So I’m writing a book! Here’s a little taste.
6 Lessons Learned from a Secular Recovery
Before coming to Freethought Blogs, I was writing for a popular mental health site, healthyplace.com. There were strict rules there and I wasn’t able to share my story as an atheist in recovery. I’m so glad I’m now at a place where I can open up about my recovery and not leave any of the important parts out.