How many true believers are in the world?

It’s true; your geographical location usually decides your religion, but how many people truly believe, and how many just follow along because it’s part of their culture?

I think it’s human nature to question. Don’t you? I think at some point everyone goes through a little “soul searching”, whether they admit it or not. For me, questioning my beliefs just felt like part of growing up. Maybe for some, it strengthens their belief, but questioning led me to abandon faith altogether. I bet a lot of people are in the same boat, again, whether they admit it or not.

I grew up in a Christian culture (coloring Easter eggs, giving Christmas presents, etc. minus going to church) but I’ve never considered myself a Christian. Honestly, it would be so easy to hide and call myself a Christian. No one would ever know the difference, but morally I just can’t do it. I have to stay true to myself. In my personal life, I don’t just offer up my atheist views, but when questioned, I’m honest. 

Is everyone being honest? I kind of doubt it. How many people are just following the motions? I bet the number of true believers is smaller than we think.

Deep down I think everyone must have a little bit of doubt. It would be strange if they didn’t, right? I mean, nothing in life is 100 percent. We learn that pretty early on so why wouldn’t it apply to religion?

So many people at my work are vocal Christians. Do they really truly believe? Is any of that peer pressure? I don’t know. If they ever questioned, would they admit it?

I’m just curious; when you look at the people around you who define themselves as part of a religion, do you think they truly believe? Do you think they secretly have doubts? Do you think they just see religion as part of their culture and nothing more? Are they just following the motions because that’s what they know? Or maybe because they’re afraid not to? 

You never know what’s going on deep inside a person’s head, but I’d like to think I’m not alone in my feelings. Am I really that different from the people around me?

So many questions…

I have a Cardi B song stuck in my head. I like the song, but it just won’t leave me alone. Maybe some writing will distract me…

Do your partner’s religious beliefs differ from yours? I’m an atheist – pretty straightforward. My husband doesn’t believe in god but believes in a higher power. It’s really just a slight difference and I can see where he’s coming from. Definitely not enough to make us incompatible.

When I was younger, I dated men from all different backgrounds. I was an equal-opportunity girlfriend and I think it’s kinda funny that I married someone so similar to me. 

But when it comes to religion, I don’t think I could settle down with someone if they were really different from me.

I was once in a long-term relationship with a Jewish man. We lived together in Los Angeles. When I was with him I took classes on Judaism (that his parents paid for) and his family expected me to eventually convert. 

While I’m not a Christian, I grew up in a Christian culture. My family colored Easter eggs and gave Christmas gifts. He wanted nothing to do with it. It became a touchy topic and made me really uncomfortable. Why was I the one expected to change?

There was a lot I didn’t understand (and probably still don’t). His Jewish family and friends often talked about being oppressed, but at the same time, these were the wealthiest people I had ever been around. I know their grandparents were oppressed, but I just didn’t see them as oppressed; I saw them as extremely privileged. Unfortunately, it kind of affected how I viewed Jewish people in America, but logically I know one family does not represent all Jews. It’s been years and I think I’m still processing it all.

Eventually, I left him and moved back in with my family in Ohio. It was at this time I finally got the help I needed for my mental health. Dating in recovery gave me a little more confidence, and I met some really interesting people.

After a year back in Ohio, I went back to school and dated an Indian man. We were both students at the same college. One day, we drove all the way to Pittsburgh to visit a Hindu temple. It was a long time ago and I don’t remember all the details, but it was nothing like anything I had ever experienced before. There were so many people there and it was definitely eye-opening. He never pushed his religion on me and I was very grateful to have experienced his culture without the pressure to change myself.

Then there was the conservative Christian (and virgin). We also met in college. He was dead-set on converting me and I didn’t budge. Had I converted just to please him, it would have been a lie. You can’t force someone to believe in something, and I’m not willing to fake it like so many people do. Obviously, it didn’t last very long. I really liked riding around in his truck though.

Lesson learned: if your partner wants to fundamentally change you, it’s probably not going to work out.

Soon after I met my husband and the rest was history. I was only twenty-four when I met my husband online. He always made me feel so comfortable. I can tell him anything and he doesn’t judge me. He’s easygoing, we have so much in common, and I always feel accepted. Sometimes we have really interesting discussions about religion and spirituality. I enjoy them. My husband and I believe similar things, but if we were exactly the same, maybe the discussions wouldn’t be as interesting.

If you are dating or when you were dating, how and when did religion come up? Have your partners’ views differed from yours? Did you avoid the topic, agree to disagree, or were you comfortable discussing it?

Religion always came up early for me as atheism has been an important part of my recovery.

How important is it to you for your partner to be similar or different from you? Did you settle down with someone with different views and how do you deal with that?

 

Also, can someone name a different song to get stuck in my head?

 

Now enjoy some weirdo art!

I had my follow-up appointment on Tuesday from my knee surgery earlier this month. They removed the sutures, but unfortunately, I still can’t drive and must work from home for another four weeks. I start physical therapy next week so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Only three more weeks of crutches!

Before I left work for my surgery, several of my coworkers said I was in their prayers. I politely said thank you and went about my day even though I don’t believe in prayer. A coworker called me last week and said that he and some of my clients actually said a prayer for me at work. I think it’s sweet that they’re thinking of me, but at the same time, it’s just another reminder of how ostracized I feel at work.

I don’t work for a religious organization, but many of my coworkers are very vocal Christians. Unfortunately, god and church are frequent topics of conversation at the office which makes me very uncomfortable. I just don’t think work is the right place to have that kind of discussion. It’s not like it ever turns into a debate – they agree with each other – but it definitely makes me feel like I’m on the outside looking in. I always feel like I have to hide who I truly am just to function at work.

Obviously, I don’t think prayer does anything, but they do. Is it the intention that counts? Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you feel? What do you say when someone says they’ll pray for you?