Get up. Take my daughter to school. Go to work. Come home. Sit in front of the TV. Go to bed. Repeat.
I. Want. More.
Is it possible to live a happy life in a simple routine? Is it enough to just exist and not want more?
Sometimes I need to tell myself to calm my ass down. Sometimes my husband has to tell me that, too. I get bored easily and it’s never good. I feel guilty when I’m not actively working on something. I tend to be one of those “you only live once” people and just go for it. The clock of mortality is ticking.
But it’s okay to just sit and not do anything sometimes, right?
When I get in a funk, I don’t know whether to rest or give myself a kick in the butt. It’s really a fine line. In that moment, is it enough to just exist? I’ve had a rough year, especially health-wise, to the point where I was forced to “just exist”. The guilt and helplessness have been overwhelming.
I often hear the affirmation, “I am enough” and I understand that humans have inherent worth, but if you don’t want anything else, do you feel like you lack a purpose? Do we need a purpose? Does being an atheist affect your thoughts on having a purpose?
I’m sometimes envious of people who took a more traditional path – like things sometimes fall in place for people. I’m also jealous of people who can just be happy with what they have.
Is a simple life possible? Can you be happy in a routine? Would you even want a simple life? With everything going on in the universe, can you feel happy with your insignificance?
Maybe I’m making too many assumptions here. Maybe no one has a simple life and you all are asking just as many questions as I am.
How do you feel? Do you have a routine? Are you happy with it? Is it possible to not want anything else?
Living a simple life is entirely up to the person, and not entirely under the control of a person. Some people are fine with simple lives, others constantly look for ways to fill their time.
As for enjoying existing? It’s fine sometimes but anytime your forced to live your life a specific way for any length of time is annoying. It doesn’t matter if your medication is making you hyper or you hurt your foot and can’t walk much. Being forced into something generally feels bad and if kept there very long is bad for a person’s mental health.
I have a friend, a vivacious globetrotter, heavily involved in the arts and life, who is the opposite of me – a loner who spend large swathes my time at home, working hours on this spontaneous triviality and that. Still, the two of us are very fond of our friendship and each other. They regale me with their public exploits and listen with sincere interest at my day’s diversion. Both of us are happy and I think the world of that individual.
Yet, I have my self-dissatisfactions, however not so much in what I do or how I spend my time, rather they’re in what and who I intrinsically am. That, to answer your question, is the case for me. So I guess it’s six of twelve…
Durn typo! “spends” not “spend”!
😉
Been giving this some thought. I agree with @1, JM, that sometimes routine is imposed on you–for example, you have to get your daughter up and to school and from school and to fix her dinner and put her to bed. That’s not negotiable until she’s old enough to get herself up and to school. That ties you down–it’s not like you can go globe-trotting when you’ve got to be home for the school bus.
When I get into a rut, I try to think about what needs aren’t being met, and try to find a way to meet them. If money is an issue, the ways don’t have to be expensive. For example, if you feel as if you’re tied to the house, try to find a planned time every week to get out of the house, whether it’s a walk around the block or a small outing–library, local sites of interest, a talk by a local expert in something, the zoo, etc. With or without family, whichever feels right to you. If you’re bored of everything in your house, try moving the furniture around so you get a different perspective, or (if it’s not triggering) come up with theme weeks in your house where you try a new recipe. Or learn about a different country’s holiday/our country’s different holidays–there are sites on the internet with lists of different things. Today is Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day and that’s sad, but the 14th is Monkey Day.
Probly beats the alternative – although non-existent people can’t complain..
Given we are in existence (& non-existent people or things by definition can’t be here) question is what do we make of our existence?
The best of it we can coz, what else and why not?
Ideally make the World we share and depedn upon better and kinder and able to understand more by being in it I suggest?
You have only two obligations in this life: do whatever makes you happy, and do your best not to hurt anyone or contribute to anyone else’s suffering. That’s it. Have fun and don’t leave the world a worse place, everything else is a bonus on top of it. If you’re happy, it doesn’t matter if it’s routine or “boring.”
Since you enjoy keeping busy, can you combine what you love (art) with other things you love? For example, design logos or create pictures for your local animal shelter? You could work at your own pace and you’d be doing some good to cheer up visitors and workers.
Depends on my mood . Sometimes I want to party or go places and sometimes I just want to stay home and read or sew a quilt. Today was a quilt day
I think what makes us happy isn’t really something we choose. And I think knowing it too well doesn’t always have good outcomes. Knowing exactly what makes you happy seems similar to suddenly realizing a tv show you like is actually using a formula and spotting it happening. Unless you’re a real fan of how cinema is made, this sort of thing probably lessens your enjoyment. Knowing yourself to some extent is good and all but I feel like too much knowledge about what makes you happy is like noticing the formula.
It sounds like you kind of want to reset what makes you happy. I can only think of two things that do that. Encountering something wonderful for the first time and falling in love with it can do that but it’s awfully hard to do on purpose. The other idea I had is a matter of perspective. If you can stop and really look at the people and things around you. It’s like the stereotypical situation where the wife gets a haircut and asks the husband if he sees anything different about her. The husband isn’t very focused on haircuts so he sees what he expects to see and has no idea what she’s talking about. I’m not sure I have any good advice on how to do that (maybe you can ask how everyone else does it) but I think if you can refocus and really see your surroundings again, you’ll find what’s really important to you. What makes you happy.
Oh and for what it’s worth, I think the fastest way to go from “ok” to “dissatisfied” is to have someone tell you that you ought to be happy with what you have. They might mean well and all but that is just not a useful opinion.
I take you seriously, so I spent some time for you.
(Did I ever mention I can be a bit literal?)
Anyway, my own opinions follow as the answers.
Q: Is it enough to just exist?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: Is it possible to live a happy life in a simple routine? Is it enough to just exist and not want more?
A: Yes, for some people. Yes, for some people.
Q: But it’s okay to just sit and not do anything sometimes, right?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: When I get in a funk, I don’t know whether to rest or give myself a kick in the butt. It’s really a fine line. In that moment, is it enough to just exist?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: I often hear the affirmation, “I am enough” and I understand that humans have inherent worth, but if you don’t want anything else, do you feel like you lack a purpose?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: Do we need a purpose?
A: No.
Q: Does being an atheist affect your thoughts on having a purpose?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: Is a simple life possible?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: Can you be happy in a routine?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: Would you even want a simple life?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: With everything going on in the universe, can you feel happy with your insignificance?
A: Yes, for some people.
Q: How do you feel?
A: I think I am luckier than most, because I don’t have to worry about having a purpose or for there to be meaning.
Stuff is, I am, it suffices.
Q: Do you have a routine?
A: Yes.
Q: Are you happy with it?
A: Satisfied. That’s enough.
Q: Is it possible to not want anything else?
A: Yes, for some people.
Get up. Take my daughter to school. Go to work. Come home. Sit in front of the TV. Go to bed. Repeat.
I. Want. More.
OK. Between “Get up.” and “Take my daughter to school. ” you’ve missed out a whole bunch of stuff – specifically, your interactions with your daughter. Similarly between “Come home” and “Go to bed” you’ve got “Sit in front of the TV”. I have to assume that between those two things you also eat, perform your basic household routines, and amongst it all interact with your daughter some more, including getting her ready for bed and so on, before you’re ready to go to bed yourself. I think you’re minimising the huge job you’re doing bringing someone up.
I was going to go into a description of my life, but I won’t. Suffice to say that your description mirrors somewhat my current routine. Except… I’m not saying “I want more”. I’m saying “I signed up for this”. This is actually what I (and my wife) wanted – it’s family life. And quite a lot of it is quite repetitive by nature. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. My life, now, fundamentally isn’t about me any more. And I’m fine with that. Sure – I get to do my own thing from time to time, but primarily, it’s about my sons.
The only piece of advice I’d offer is something I’ve said to others: in my experience, it’s more fulfilling to create than to consume. I’ve been through periods where I’ve spent my free time creating things, and more recently I’ve been through a period where I feel like I’ve primarily consumed (TV, mainly). Of the two lifestyles, I recommend the former, and I’m leaning back that way now. But I think part of the reason why it feels like I’m leaning on “consume” lately is that I’ve not really made allowance for the fact that between us my wife and I have been focused for five years on creating two new humans, a task I suspect will take up most of our free time for the next decade and a half at least. Having energy left after that to create something MORE is perhaps expecting a bit much, especially at my age. But I’m creating other stuff again, in fits and spurts. It’s frankly helpful that the TV I’ve been consuming over the last three years or so (mostly Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars and Marvel stuff) has taken such a catastrophic nosedive in quality that letting go of it is much less of a wrench.
Turn off the TV. Do something low energy creative. Good luck.
I was 20, the boyfriend du jour had just been drafted (Vietnam!) and i was walking down the street in a deep funk. There was a rose bush hanging over the sidewalk I started to push by it, then told myself that regardless of my emotional state, the rose still smells as sweet, and I put the rest aside, stopped and smelled it, and took conscious responsibility for my own happiness. From that perspective, ask not Is it enough? but Am I happy? If not, do something, perhaps as simple as smelling the flowers, perhaps more, that’s up to you, and only you.
My view it that it’s okay to rest, but I also try to learn about the world around me. It’s up to you how active you want, or feel that you can be. I hope things will work out for you. 🙂