A gynecologist, Dr. Jen Gunter, is taking Gwyneth Paltrow to task for hawking yet more crap at inflated prices. In this case, it’s ‘jade eggs’, which are claimed to do so much more than provide exercises of the kegel kind, oh yes! Goodness, there’s an intuition factory down there, and it requires feeding and care. This nonsense made me think back decades ago to a joke Roseanne Barr did about men thinking a uterus was a magical tracking device.
I read the post on GOOP and all I can tell you is it is the biggest load of garbage I have read on your site since vaginal steaming. It’s even worse than claiming bras cause cancer. But hey, you aren’t one to let facts get in the way of profiting from snake oil.
My issue begins with the very start of your post on jade eggs specifically that “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors.” Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man! And then the claim that they can balance hormones is, quite simply, biologically impossible. Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones. As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!? How does one test for it? Organically sourced, fair trade urine pH sticks coming soon to GOOP for $77 I presume?
Queens and concubines, eh? Why would a queen need (or want) to impress an emperor? Besides getting her political classes all mixed up, citing concubines is on the really fucked up side. Perhaps Ms. Paltrow’s friends could chip in and purchase a dictionary for her, or some history books.
From the blather about jade eggs on Goop:
practice – there was not as much information about it then as there is now. But it made intuitive sense to me: The word for our womb, yoni, translates as “sacred place”, and it is a sacred place – it’s where many women access their intuition, their power, and their wisdom.
:Stifles scream: Oh gods, I can’t even say how much I loathe this sort of nonsense. No. No, no, no. I have a uterus, yes. It is by no means sacred, there’s no little altar in there, and it is not possible to access intuition, power, or wisdom from it. Pushing this absolute bullshit is not helpful, it’s not empowering, it’s simply reducing women down to parts, and misogyny and sexism already do that well enough. Dr. Gunter wasn’t impressed, either:
If the word for womb is yoni I hate to break it to you, but the uterus and vagina are different structures. If you are using the Sanskrit, while I admit I am no language scholar, it seems that yoni means the entire female reproductive tract and you should say that. Terminology aside, the vulva, vagina, cervix, and uterus are not intuition repositories and neither are they sources of “power” or “wisdom.” If fact, I find that assertion insulting. Do you really mean a woman who does not have a uterus is less effective? Is a woman without a vagina less intelligent? Is a woman who had a vulvectomy due to cancer less creative?
Dr. Gunter also takes on some of the very real physical problems involved:
As for the recommendation that women sleep with a jade egg in their vaginas I would like to point out that jade is porous which could allow bacteria to get inside and so the egg could act like a fomite. This is not good, in case you were wondering. It could be a risk factor for bacterial vaginosis or even the potentially deadly toxic shock syndrome.
Regarding the suggestion to wear the jade egg while walking around, well, I would like to point out that your pelvic floor muscles are not meant to contract continuously. In fact, it is quite difficult to isolate your pelvic floor while walking so many women could actually clench other muscles to keep the egg inside. It is possible the pained expression of clenching your butt all day could be what is leading people to stare, not some energy glow.
Overenthusiastic Kegel exercises or incorrectly done Kegel exercises are a cause of pelvic pain and pain with sex in my practice. Imagine how your biceps muscle (and then your shoulders and then your back) might feel if you walked around all day flexed holding a barbell? Right, now imagine your pelvic floor muscles doing this.
Good advice, and people should keep in mind that Ms. Paltrow’s first concern is making money, regardless of what she says. She isn’t going to come rushing to the side of women who end up seriously ill because of the crap she hawks.
Dr. Gunter’s full post is here.
