“Napoleon finished a little bit bad,”

The Tiny Tyrant has been talking again. It’s not good.

Donald Trump gave a long, rambling interview to the New York Times on Wednesday in which he mangled facts about French history.

Reflecting on his time in France earlier this month, the president talked about the downfall of Napoleon and showed a high level of historical illiteracy.

“Napoleon finished a little bit bad,” the president began. “His one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death. How many times has Russia been saved by the weather?”

Trump then reflected that Hitler made the same mistake in his decision to wage war in Russia during the winter.

“Same thing happened to Hitler,” he said. “Not for that reason, though. Hitler wanted to consolidate. He was all set to walk in. But he wanted to consolidate, and it went and dropped to 35 degrees below zero, and that was the end of that army.”


“But the Russians have great fighters in the cold,” he said. “They use the cold to their advantage. I mean, they’ve won five wars where the armies that went against them froze to death. It’s pretty amazing. So, we’re having a good time. The economy is doing great.”

Oh hey, here’s everything I know about French military history: Napoleon, well, bad. Russia, great! Hey, this is a good time. Is there chocolate cake? Oh yeah, the economy is doing great! Bottomed out, but great! Jesus Fuckin’ Christ.

Via Raw Story.


  1. johnson catman says

    I went to the link to see if there was any more coherence. Dumb of me to expect that.

    Those last two sentences are totally non sequitur. WTF is he even referencing? I know, I know. He is not referencing anything, just spouting words. (The BEST words!)

  2. says

    Not enough palm for face!

    Paris, Oct 19, 1812:
    Bonapartist spokesperson Armand De Caulaincourt declined to speak on record, however “premier frere” Joseph Bonaparte met with EmpireOnline.com staffers to discuss the new uniforms for the Grenadier Guard. When asked about the retreat from Moscow, and high casualties reported due to winter weather, he said, “It’s a ‘lateral re-depolyment’ to the Berezina River, which is a really nice place this time of year!” Casualty figures are overestimated, he said, and “besides, we did take Moscow. It’s being renovated as we speak! #MFGAG”

  3. says


    It’s a ‘lateral re-depolyment’ to the Berezina River

    What I know about Napoleonic history could fit in a thimble, but that ^ rang a bell, because I read an excerpt from one of the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik at the end of Uprooted. That’s a series which is about the Napoleonic Wars, with dragons.

  4. rq says

    Napoleonic Wars with dragons? Going on the list. (Incidentally, the big military fort down in Daugavpils -- sent you links to photos previous -- just celebrated a 205th anniversary re-enactment of beating Napoleon’s forces. At least, I think they were marking a victory, but I can’t be sure, my history there is also extremely hazy. Anyway, they went the whole re-enactment costumes and dances and music route, and I’m sorry to say I didn’t go.)
    As for the OP… “He didn’t go to Russia that night”, because it’s that close, you can just walk into Russia overnight from France or wherever, actually. Fuck. Also, Hitler consolidating with the Russian forces? I could laugh, but fuck.
    And it’s true, winter has often saved Russia, because the winter is that brutal -- but… Stalingrad is a horror story all its own, as I’m pretty sure any deep winter siege would be, in any century.

  5. says

    What I know about Napoleonic history could fit in a thimble, but that ^ rang a bell, because I read an excerpt from one of the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik at the end of Uprooted. That’s a series which is about the Napoleonic Wars, with dragons.

    I will have to look for that; it sounds interesting!!! I wonder if Marbot puts in an appearance. Because, if I were writing a book about Napoleonic Wars with dragons I would pretty certainly have Marbot show up and chase one off with a leg of mutton(*)

    The Berezina River crossing on the return retreat is one of the most horrific incidents I’ve ever read about, which is saying something because I’ve read Joinville’s chronicles of the crusades and the slaughter in Jerusalem, first-person accounts of Stalingrad and after, and shelves of books at WWI in Flanders and Gallipoli. Sergeant Burgoyne’s journal account of the crossing gave me nightmares on and off for a year after I read it (I was a teen-ager) Just to give you an idea: 60,000 men reduced to a rabble, trying to get back across the river, harrassed and pursued by the entire Russian army, and they had 2 pontoon bridges and it was below zero by some margin. As the French started to cross, the pontoon bridges began to fail, so the engineer corps jumped and waded into the river and died as they were trying to lash the bridges to hold a bit longer. If you look at Minard’s famous map of the Grand Armee’s collapse, there’s a great big thinning down that happens right around the Berezina crossing. Something like 60,000 French reduced to about 15,000 in a single day. (https://www.edwardtufte.com/tufte/minard) Without the engineers, it would have been 2,000…

    (* real incident; I should probably do a posting about that)

  6. John Harshman says

    Any distraction from Drumpf is a good distraction, but Novik’s Temeraire series is the best distraction. Yes, the Napoleonic wars with dragons. And a very intelligent and thoughtful analysis of the changes in warfare (and everything else) that dragons might have brought to the period, as well as a host of interesting and well-developed characters, the dragons not least among them. A pity it’s all over without Temeraire ever getting to North America.

  7. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    His one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities

    That dang rec. hockey league ended up being Napoleon’s downfall. And worse yet, his team didn’t even win!

  8. says

    I must say that I am more than a little wary about Trumputin’s mental state. It looks like he either starts to suffer from dementia, or is abusing some drugs, or is and was always extremely dumb. He is completely incapable to make coherent and consistent speech.

  9. says


    is and was always extremely dumb

    This one. Trump hears one or two things, then just assumes he’s an expert on them, so of course he can pontificate! He also runs on the assumption that everyone else is at the very least as stupid as he is, witness his constant use of “did you know that? I don’t think people know that.”

  10. lumipuna says

    Apparently, Napoleon’s army froze to death because he wasn’t there leading them personally. Someone like Trump would’ve surely been there and created enough hot air to keep things peachy.

  11. says

    That’s such a lovely song. I always loved the hint of wistful sadness in Knopfler’s voice.

    “Done with Trump” might be fun to bash out as a death metal song.


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