Well, the right wing has found something new to froth about, there are LGBT people in rural areas! Really, who knew. After all, everyone knows all LGBT people are in urban areas, struggling to get their glitter just right or something. There couldn’t possibly be native rural or Southern LGBT people, and farming? Forget about it. Of course, the truth is that there are lots of LGBT people all over the place, and queer folk in rural areas, the South in particular, have more difficulties in getting together with other queer folk, and don’t have near the resources of other rural people, especially farmers. The 15th annual Nationwide LGBT Rural Summit was held at Drake University in Des Moines, IA on Aug. 18. That would be the fifteenth one, but of course, right wing asses seemed to just now find out about it, and are joyful in the hissiness on display over yet another sign that the sky, it be falling, as all us queers are the 5th column intent on destroying the good ol’ conservative heart of Amerikka. Oh yes.
The right-wing freakout over the summit began at conservative website The College Fix, which mocked the summit, complained that it was a waste of tax money and denied that LGBT people living in rural areas might face any special hurdles.
By August 16, the Washington Free Beacon picked up the story, wailing that the summit will enable “lesbian and transgender hillbillies how to get subsidies from the government.”
“The all-day summit will teach lesbian and transgender hillbillies how to get subsidies from the government like rural housing loans and ‘community facility grants.’ Bullying will also be discussed,” said the Beacon.
Then, none other than Rush Limbaugh picked up on the story.
“Have you heard the latest Democrat scam?” Limaugh asked on his program. “Have you heard about the Agriculture Department’s financial grants to lesbian farmers? You think I’m making this up? See, this is how they do it.”
“(W)hat the point of this is, folks, it’s not about lesbian farmers. What they’re trying to do is convince lesbians to become farmers,” he insisted.
“I’m like you; I never before in my life knew that lesbians wanted to be farmers. I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing. I never knew it. But apparently enough money can make make it happen, and the objective here is to attack — they’re already attacking suburbs, and that has been made perfectly clear by what happened in Milwaukee. And they’re going after every geographic region that is known to be largely conservative. They never stop, folks. They are constantly on the march,” said Limbaugh, whipping the story up into another Obama conspiracy.
World Net Daily joined in the panic and ousted Breitbart.com editor Ben Shapiro’s blog The Daily Wire called it “dumbest thing Feds have EVER Spent your tax dollars on.”
Lesbian farmers don’t exist, said the Wire’s Amanda Prestigiacomo.
“I mean, if I don’t know that the chocolate milk I’m drinking was originally obtained from a lesbian milking a cow, things could really breakdown [sic],” she wrote.
Oh yes, we are seriously contagious there, alt right folks, so perhaps you should all get out of the rural areas, and don’t eat or drink anything you haven’t produced yourself. It’s the only way to be certain. We’re coming for you, yes we are. Yep.