A lesbian couple sitting in a sunny field (Shutterstock.com)
Well, the right wing has found something new to froth about, there are LGBT people in rural areas! Really, who knew. After all, everyone knows all LGBT people are in urban areas, struggling to get their glitter just right or something. There couldn’t possibly be native rural or Southern LGBT people, and farming? Forget about it. Of course, the truth is that there are lots of LGBT people all over the place, and queer folk in rural areas, the South in particular, have more difficulties in getting together with other queer folk, and don’t have near the resources of other rural people, especially farmers. The 15th annual Nationwide LGBT Rural Summit was held at Drake University in Des Moines, IA on Aug. 18. That would be the fifteenth one, but of course, right wing asses seemed to just now find out about it, and are joyful in the hissiness on display over yet another sign that the sky, it be falling, as all us queers are the 5th column intent on destroying the good ol’ conservative heart of Amerikka. Oh yes.
The right-wing freakout over the summit began at conservative website The College Fix, which mocked the summit, complained that it was a waste of tax money and denied that LGBT people living in rural areas might face any special hurdles.
By August 16, the Washington Free Beacon picked up the story, wailing that the summit will enable “lesbian and transgender hillbillies how to get subsidies from the government.”
“The all-day summit will teach lesbian and transgender hillbillies how to get subsidies from the government like rural housing loans and ‘community facility grants.’ Bullying will also be discussed,” said the Beacon.
Then, none other than Rush Limbaugh picked up on the story.
“Have you heard the latest Democrat scam?” Limaugh asked on his program. “Have you heard about the Agriculture Department’s financial grants to lesbian farmers? You think I’m making this up? See, this is how they do it.”
“(W)hat the point of this is, folks, it’s not about lesbian farmers. What they’re trying to do is convince lesbians to become farmers,” he insisted.
“I’m like you; I never before in my life knew that lesbians wanted to be farmers. I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing. I never knew it. But apparently enough money can make make it happen, and the objective here is to attack — they’re already attacking suburbs, and that has been made perfectly clear by what happened in Milwaukee. And they’re going after every geographic region that is known to be largely conservative. They never stop, folks. They are constantly on the march,” said Limbaugh, whipping the story up into another Obama conspiracy.
World Net Daily joined in the panic and ousted Breitbart.com editor Ben Shapiro’s blog The Daily Wire called it “dumbest thing Feds have EVER Spent your tax dollars on.”
Lesbian farmers don’t exist, said the Wire’s Amanda Prestigiacomo.
“I mean, if I don’t know that the chocolate milk I’m drinking was originally obtained from a lesbian milking a cow, things could really breakdown [sic],” she wrote.
Oh yes, we are seriously contagious there, alt right folks, so perhaps you should all get out of the rural areas, and don’t eat or drink anything you haven’t produced yourself. It’s the only way to be certain. We’re coming for you, yes we are. Yep.
Via Raw Story and Media Matters.
Recently (as in just now) discovered tip: You do not want to read that whilst enjoying a Pastis (or any other beverage?), as deep inhalation / snorting of liquids is not particularly pleasant and may lead to prolonged fits of laughing, coughter, and the giggles… and it spills the Pastis.
Blf, that’s an excellent tip. I was fortunate that I had put my tea down when I first read that. I don’t know if that’s true stupid, or pretend stupid, but it should get some sort of an award.
…You mean like literally every single other farmer?
Facts and conservatives: Like oil and water.
Shiv:
There’s also that little matter of hillbillies. Last I looked, Iowa wasn’t in Appalachia. Also, much like ND, there aren’t a lot of hills out Iowa way.
” I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing.”
That’s because we don’t do it with horses anymore… Well, some people choose to, but they’re not really out to make money off it.
Um. “start burrowing”? **is puzzled** Maybe he means plowing? Or does he think lesbian farmers are all out there digging holes? Weird.
I see the problem here…
Kestrel @ 6:
Well, as he brought up horses, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know a damn thing about farming, ’cause I don’t know a single person who farms that way here in the 21st century. Obviously, “El Rusho” is in a very different century.
Caine @ # 6 -- That’s not fair.
Limbaugh obviously knows as much about farming (and LGBTQ&c people, aggie & otherwise) as he does about climatology!
I was searching for gifs to represent my thoughts on this but there’s not a confuzzled enough doge nor sufficient face palms across the entire interweb.
I’ve got news for the Wire’s contributor-- there’s a non zero chance the chocolate part of her milk has also come into contact with a lesbian at some point. Maybe a lesbian dock worker, or bean picker, or something! NOOOOOOOO
.
Even the cow might have been lesbian.
Ice Swimmer:
Never know! Oh…well, they had better stop eating meat. No dairy either.
It’s the halal meat scare all over again!
You mean like all other people? Like, there’s this government program you might benefit from so here’s how to access it? How dare they.
+++
This raises two important questions:
1. Do I still have Pastis?
2. Do I want one enough to get up?
The answers are yes and yes
It took you 15 minutes to decide the obvious ?
“lesbian and transgender hillbillies how to get subsidies from the government.”
All things considered, they aren’t very expensive. If they’re worried about subsidies they should look at the DoD and its various armies of contractors.
I always gotta LOL when some “conservative” starts piping their eye about money being spent on social programs (or just about anything) but not a word about the bombing in Syria that’s costing about $480,000/per hour