Get Me on a Cross

Seems like everyone I know in my personal life is more mentally ill than I am, to the point one is checking into a happy hotel semi-voluntary style for it.  When I feel like the “lone sane person in a world gone mad” it’s more a feeling of sadness for all the suffering around me.  So I was thinking, y’know, human sacrifice.  If I’m the sanest person in the world, they should be able to crucify me and have my blood wash away the emotional disorders of man.  Where the centurions at, I’m feelin’ generous.

Random Thunks

Happy Halloween ladies, and I mean that in the same way that Clancy Brown’s character in Highlander meant it, when he said it to those nuns.  It’s gonna be a busy one and I’ll probably turn in the last of my Spooktobers tomorrow, though they are in the works.  Tomorrow also the first day of NaNoWriMo, and I’m gonna be hella busy that day too.  In the meantime, allow me to share with you an example of my random thunks, from when I was on the john yesterday.

My cat came to meow for pets.  I called him “little duder” though he is little neuter.  As cat names spin out, I called him “Little Duderonomy,” a reference to “Old Deuteronomy” from Cats, which I’m only familiar with from videos mocking the film.  That got me thinking about Judi Dench playing Old Deut in the scary movie, and about the old testament book of Deuteronomy.

I don’t know from the bible, really.  I feel like Deuteronomy was a close neighbor of Leviticus, in the whole “this is still a religion of abject patriarchy and genocidal xenophobia” part of the works.  In that context, where “priestess” is a dirty word that will get you filleted like a salmon, Judi Dench as a cleric for cat religion becomes a bit amusing.

And that got me thinking about the differences between judaism and xtianity in how they approach their holy writ.  In studying demonology, I strayed into some rabbinical texts, and was struck by how much more scholarly they were than the xtian ones.  But that very density of thought, the layers and layers of analysis and (motivated) reasoning, was all in the service of adding mystique to harmful bullshit.  Bullshit that was, at its core, as simple as a total ass-pull.

As much as Agrippa would look like a basic bitch next to some of those rabbis, his system of categorizing and breaking down everything in the world into labels and spirits and numbers, it was just more appealing to me.  And that makes sense, because it was at least an indirect influence on Linnaeus, and subsequently all that ongoing work of piecing together the tree of life – the real tree of life, not the kabbalah – which is something I love to reflect on.

And that got me thinking about my own work in demonology, how I went searching for something like a canon of demons, found out it was a bullshitting free-for-all, and then hatched a foolish dream of bringing it altogether in a modern synthesis that irons out the contradictions.  If I did that, I would be putting reason and thought and structure onto a cartoonish mass of nonsense, which would make me better than those rabbis only in that I’m not also enforcing violent patriarchy.  I mean, that’s not nothing, but I wonder that I should be reiterating the errors of judaism and xtianity in my precious spare time.

That’s it, enjoy!

Music Questions and Groovy Ghouls

I hope this video plays on other sites and in most countries. If you can, take in this visual and auditory information, then consult with me when you have finished your assignment.

OK, to be honest, I have nothing profound to say about this. I pick up this and that, trivial info, from random curiosities and wikipedia, but the answers are often lacking. You can never really know what it was like to be there. So I’m still left with a few questions.

The lead singer of the Mary Jane Girls was a protégé & / or collaborator with Rick James, and I think the only actual MJ Girl on the recorded track. The other girls were stand-ins for tours, promotion, image. I expect on tour they’d just lip synch at most concerts, so they didn’t even need singing skills. Probably they were dancers first. But did they sing? I know sometimes singers would try to do the whole package as performers, sometimes with tragic results (I’m thinking of a breathless sweaty Paula Abdul performance on MTV Music Awards from long ago). How singin’ were the non-recorded Mary Jane Girls?

The lead MJG was a singer first and a dancer / performer second, right? I think it’s funny to imagine she just danced how she felt and the dancing girls had to try to coordinate to that. Try to keep up girls. Probably not, but who knows?

Other random thought, why is the white girl in a skeleton costume? I do think the combination of light eyes, blonde hair, and heavy makeup evokes the doll-look possession in the first Evil Dead movie, so she’s kinda ghoulish. I know cocaine was huge in this scene, which creates a strong association between the color white and death, but surely that’s my own projection. It’s just weird that one of them had a ghoul outfit and the rest didn’t. The song does have a spoopy vibe, anyway.

Still from Evil Dead (1979)

I rather like eighties funk, though I’m no expert on it. I feel like it lost something in the transition from the seventies, like feeling and soul, and then replaced that with this cold alien drug vibe that has a different and perverse kind of appeal. What do you think?

Are You Bored Again?

FtB hasn’t been very hoppin’ lately, so you may be seeking something to read.  Last time I noted this, I came up with a list of good articles I’d written that received little attention at the time I posted them.  You could revisit that, if you didn’t avail yourself the first time.  Something else that could be fun to read: My short-lived RP by Comment.  Cartomancer was the last man standing in that exercise in collaborative writing*, and he brought it to a very meta and amusing conclusion.  Thanks, Cartomancer.

When I was a young man*, Pepsi ran a slogan “Be young, Have fun, Drink Pepsi.”  You Could win a prize by collecting cans that were printed in the bottom with each word of the creepy demand.  But the print inside the can was only 2-3 letters, which worked out to BE YNG HAV FUN DRK PEP.  As you survive another season of fire, invoke this ancient spell to summon Pepsiman to protect you.

BE YNG HAV FUN DRK PEP.  Now gimme the prize.

*some would say “egg” but it felt appropriate enough at that time so i let this kind of thing stand.


My spam filter was getting a bunch of bot comments advertising poaching adventures for evil whiteys.  An evil whitey who was involved in helping arrange that kind of shit was found executed gangland style in South Africa.  I’d like to think that was the work of somebody who cares about nature, but realistically it was a fellow gangster that will likely continue in the same line of business.  However, I am no longer seeing those particular comments in my spam trap.  Almost certainly a coincidence, but again, I’d like to think…

What the Cock is this Real ID Shit

Apparently 17 years ago the US gubmint passed a law that’s starting to take effect now-ish, requiring a extra-special super ID.  When I first heard people talking about this, I assumed it was a voter disenfranchisement scheme implemented by various states, but I recently found out it’s federal.  There’s a copy of the law here and I can’t understand every part of it, but I hear it’s going to be required for interstate air travel.  I don’t cotton to it, no sir.

Can anybody in the know explain anything I should know about this bullshit?

ETA:  One interesting requirement I noticed is that you’re not allowed to have a legal driver’s license in more than one state at a time.  You literally have to get one state DL cancelled to get another.  Ridiculous.


Inspired Notions vs. Pathological Thoughts

Lately I’ve been on a kick.  People get on kicks.  Shallow thinkers like myself, haha.  We start to view everything through a certain lens and over-apply the notion.  I’ve seen pundits do this, back when I read news.  Anyway, my kick is “alive people energy.”  I’ve been thinking all creative endeavors are improved by investing them with the sense of an active continuous idea within.  Like a given scene, a given chapter, a given illustration or piece of music, at different steps within your process it’s good to step back and hold the whole idea in your head at once, run through it, ask yourself if it feels alive.  Like you conceived the whole idea like a deep breath and let it out in a harmonious flow as a single exhalation.  If that makes sense.  You could do this on your first draft, but editing can break that energy, make stuff feel choppy and lethargic, so during editing you want to stop from time to time and make sure your art is still alive.  Bring the alive people energy.

On the other hand, I have been considering recently if I might be mildly bipolar, and this feels like the kind of bullshit an art teacher would say to a class while standing on his desk, before going home and contemplating suicide, string music filling his studio apartment, his cats unfed and too weary to complain.  But worry not, my Hecubus will be fed and I don’t know from classical music.  Also didn’t some tech billionaire creep make an erotic message to a mistress calling her “alive girl”?  This feels like a related disease.

The most important thing to come of this post, I think, will be that it takes the Thursday meme post off the top of my feed before it becomes Friday.  Think on that.


Haven’t been very active lately on here.  Or have I?  Maybe the fact I’m not reading other blogs, not up on what my FThBlggies are up to, that makes it feel like I’m out of touch.  &/or out of time.  But I’m out of my head when you’re not around, oh oh oh, oh oh OH.  By the way, that Hall & Oates track is part of an anime-inspired Thursday meme.  There is another Thursday meme inspired by another anime, with Asuka Evangelion wishing you a Feliz Jueves.  It’s only Tuesday though, no time for that.  I’m OUT of TIME.

There’s a song by the Dead Milkmen called Dean’s Dream, from their album Big Lizard in My Backyard.  I think it’s about the way a dream feels significant and you want to tell somebody about it, but that sense of importance cannot be communicated, and ultimately dreams are silly garbage.  The climax of the dream in that song is, “We argue and fight and one pulls a knife;  He hits me in the back but I’m alright.”  I had a dream my boyfriend was in one of the crushed floors of a partially collapsed building and I ignored the warnings to go in and save him.  He was just standing there, alright, in his purple flannel shirt.  He’s alright.

On an unrelated thing, I think it’s very possible my dying words will be, “I don’t feel so good Mistew Stawk.”  After that moment in Marvel’s TV’s Revengers: The Semi-Finals, I quickly came to feel profoundly amused by that supposedly serious moment in the movie.  Even the idea that for some other people the drama landed, genuinely choked them up for a moment, felt real … it just adds to the hilarity somehow.

Now, however many years later, whenever I have low blood sugar or am otherwise wobblin’ or wimpy, that’s the first thing that springs to my lips.  Ergo, if I’m having a heart attack and it’s one of those stealthy boys where you just feel out of sorts until it’s Die Time, I’ll probably say the line right before my entire life is rendered a joke.  Correct and appropriate, I suppose.

I’m starting to think I’m mildly bipolar, which is funny I never realized that before, given my brother is medicated for that and our father is a straight cartoon character off that diagnosis.  But it’s OK.  I just get delusions of grandeur sometimes.  They’re probably a good thing, when they don’t keep me up nights.

This is pretty much the epitome of Random Thoughts from Satan posts.  I hope it wasn’t a waste of your time.  Have a sweet day.

Got No Memes

I want to do something for International Down With Cis Day, but ideas fail me.  Every year since I started at FtB has gotten materially worse for trans rights and the well-being and safety of trans lives.  I hold the shitbird governor of Texas as especially emblematic of the whole situation – blatantly using open bigotry to score political points, bible bashing while using rhetoric generously provided by terfs, pushing for the worst anti-LGBT policies this side of China or Iran.

So I think, meme his ass.  Political cartoon like this was 1922.  But nothing comes to mind except depictions of him on the receiving end of terrible violence – you know, madame guillotine putting in an appearance, somebody setting him on fire and kicking him off a cliff, etc.  Not funny, not a good look.


Not bad, but still feels wildly inadequate to the struggle right now.  We’ll see what we’ll see.