Please don’t romanticize abuse


I’ve recently encountered people voluntarily identifying as Narcissists.

If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, you’ll know I’ve been recently hurt by a narcissist. So my reaction is probably a bit more personal than it could be,


Please don’t do this. There is nothing wrong with being self confident or even admiring your own aesthetics. That is not narcissism. Actually identifying as a narcissist, unless you’ve received that diagnosis and you’re learning Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to mitigate that, is not unlike identifying as an arsonist, or a psychopath. Narcissism is a destructive pathology which requires someone else to break in order to build the narcissist up. Claiming to be one is contradictory–narcissists don’t advertise their condition, because they know it drives people away.

So don’t.

You love yourself. You’re confident in yourself. You think you’re sexy. If this is what you’re trying to say, say that. Calling yourself a narcissist isn’t cute. It’s a personality disorder for a reason.

I’ll file this under “I don’t think that word means what you think it means” and call it a day.



  1. Great American Satan says

    I wasn’t familiar with the abusive aspect of the diagnosis. I learned about it briefly a hojillion years ago and it sounded like they sabotage all relationships with manufactured drama, but I hadn’t heard that it rises to that level. Makes sense tho. I had a short lived association with a textbook narcissist for possibly the first time a couple of years ago. It was aggravating, a mess, and doomed from the outset, but I was fortunate to only get weirded out and vaguely burned by it all.

    I do hope that the dude I knew gets better some day. Can’t feel great when none of your friends last more than a few months, even if you always have some mental justification for why it proves ur awesome.