Two more letters addressing religion and small acts of kindness —

Dear daughter,

Religion is a very significant part of our past that will hopefully lose its grasp on our future. 

Religion is in place to keep a select few in power while keeping the masses in control. It’s a system of fantastical beliefs designed to rule by fear. 

It provides explanations rooted in fables for those with a fear of the unknown. Science has provided many answers to our questions, but religion ignores the facts out of fear of losing power.

Different religions claim they are the true faith — the one that’s right — but the most noticeable difference between religions is geographic location. It’s something you grow up with. Is someone going to hell just because they were born in a different part of the world?

You can poke holes through religious stories all day, but there are just some people not willing to consider verifiable evidence. Ignorance is the enemy of progress.

I’m not going to tell you what to believe, but growing up I hope I will have taught you the importance of skepticism in your everyday life. If something is true, there will be evidence.

We have friends and family who practice a religion, and while it’s frustrating to think about, I am not going to turn my back on them. We choose not to infringe on each other’s beliefs. In fact, we usually avoid the topic altogether. 

Religion has caused a lot of pain and suffering throughout history, yet for some people, it provides comfort.

Learn as much as you can about the world and people around you, but do it from a place of empathy. Deep down we are all just humans with the same basic needs.

Love,

Mom

Dear daughter, 

For the past week, daddy has been blowing up a balloon every day to surprise you when you come home from daycare in the afternoon. The latex balloons have white dinosaurs on them and come in several different colors. He has been at work for a few hours by the time you get home from daycare, but he loves hearing about your excitement. Every day there’s a new balloon in a different color waiting for you. The pack of balloons probably cost us a couple of bucks but the smile on your face is priceless.

(Also, at this time you don’t know it’s daddy blowing up the balloons. It’s just a happy mystery.)

Small acts of kindness go a long way. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to show a person that they’re important to you. This is good because we don’t have a lot of money; daddy is very good at finding meaningful gifts. 

If you are grateful that someone is in your life, show them. Life is short and our relationships with others are what get us through.

Love,

Mom

Happy Halloween! My husband, the magician, and daughter, the kitty witch:

Here are the next two letters in my series, A Secular Childhood: Letters to My Daughter.

Dear daughter,

It’s important to help others and your community. You can try to save the world, but please realize there are people in need right here in your hometown. Big causes are important, but neighbors need to help neighbors. Wherever you are, people are meant to help other people. We are all connected through our basic needs and wants. Always remember we are more alike than different. 

We don’t help others in god’s name — we don’t do it in anyone’s name. Some religions use charity to prey on the vulnerable, but it’s important to treat others with respect. Practice empathy. Life is fragile and we could easily be in someone else’s shoes. 

We help others because we’re good humans, and that’s what good humans do.

Love,

Mom

To my daughter with so much potential,

I am so excited to one day see the person you’ll become with interests and passions that make you uniquely you.

Explore and try new things, but if you don’t know what you want to do when you graduate high school, that’s okay. You have time. I wanted to be a mother and writer and I didn’t figure that out until I was in my 30’s. The 18-year-old me could have never predicted what the 30-year-old me would want even though I thought it all figured out by my high school graduation. I was kind of crushed when things didn’t go as planned. There were definitely unexpected twists and turns but I’m happy where I’m at. 

As far as finding a partner, dad and I followed a pretty traditional path. We dated for a couple of years, got married, and a few years later had you. We also went to college and bought a house before you came along.

Please don’t feel like you have to follow in our footsteps. You don’t have to be interested in the same things as others in our family. Do what makes you happy. You can have a fulfilling life without a spouse or children. You don’t have to buy a house. Education is important but there are other options than just a traditional college.

Life is short so make the most of it. You don’t have to live up to someone else’s expectations. Set your own goals and milestones and make your life your own. Don’t let anything hold you back.

Love,

Mom