Transphobes and their Dating Preferences

Each person who is interested in dating and sex could write long lists of various traits that are either deal breakers or make a potential date more attractive. Most people only want to date people who fall within a specific age range. Some people won’t date conservative Christians. Some people won’t date those who are not a conservative Christian. There are people who won’t date a smoker or, vice versa, a person who dislikes tobacco smoke. Some people only date those who are interested in marriage and children. Other people look for casual sex. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. People can have all kinds of quirks about what they find sexy or physically attractive. A person can like big boobs or small boobs or they can strongly dislike breast implants. Or they can like breast implants. A person can have preferences about a potential date’s body weight, muscle mass, height, hairstyle, etc. For example, I find certain voices sexier than others. And if a potential date has beautiful hands, I’ll really like that (yes, I’m an artist; the stereotype that artists pay attention to people’s hands is true about me).

If I asked out some person and they refused with the explanation “you are not my type,” then that would be understandable. Nobody owes sex to anybody else, and people are free to choose whom they want to date. If a person was filling out their profile in a dating website and wrote information about their likes and dislikes, then that would be reasonable.

What is less reasonable are people who feel an irresistible urge to loudly proclaim “I wouldn’t date a person with characteristic X” out of context in situations where this information is utterly irrelevant. [Read more…]

Hardships and Character-Building

Among conservative Americans there exists an idea that overcoming hardships is essential for character-building. People imagine that poverty is a just punishment for laziness, that a state cannot just give people free food, affordable housing, free healthcare, child support, and guaranteed minimum income, because then everybody would just become lazy and stop working. In fact, merely working isn’t sufficient, a person has to work hard in order to earn their daily bread and a roof above their head. [Read more…]

Defining “Women” as “People who Menstruate”

Recently there’s been some talk about periods among Freethoughblogs bloggers. A rather famous TERF wrote some tweets about how women are “people who menstruate.” That’s not correct. It’s wrong to imagine that only women can menstruate (so can trans men and non-binary people). It’s also wrong to say that if you don’t menstruate, you’re not a woman (a lot of women, including cis women, do not have periods for various reasons). Periods are not what defines an individual as a woman. There are various groups of people who have been assigned “female” at birth and identify as women but do not have periods:

–Elderly women.
–Women who have had a hysterectomy.
–Some of the women who have had an endometrial ablation.
–Women who choose to continuously use hormonal birth control.
–Women who are malnourished or very physically active.
–Some women with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
–Women with various genetic health conditions.
–Women who were born intersex.

And, yes, of course, there are also trans women who do not have periods either. Welcome to the club! Statistically, trans people are a small minority, thus trans women are only a fraction of all the women who do not have periods. It’s funny how in their attempt to redefine the word “woman” TERFs came up with a definition that excludes so many cis women. Simultaneously defining “women” as “adult AFAB people” and “people who menstruate” is impossible, because both of these groups of people overlap only partially. [Read more…]

Police Violence: It Is Not Normal

People have a tendency to imagine that whatever is happening around them is normal. They get used to how things are and don’t always think about whether something could be done differently. I have recently heard a few American citizens insisting that cops need to be tough on crime or else the society will collapse. Or that cops need to shoot suspects or else innocent people will die. And here I am, living in a country where police officers do not routinely shoot or beat up suspects, where citizens aren’t scared or wary of the very people who are supposed to protect them. And no, just because cops are capable of restraining themselves and not acting like murderous monsters doesn’t mean that crime is rampant in Europe. Personally, as a European, I perceive the overwhelming violence perpetrated by American cops as unbelievable and horrific. [Read more…]

8th March

International Women’s Day is celebrated on the 8th of March every year around the world. According to Wikipedia, “It is a focal point in the movement for women’s rights.” So far so good, I totally support attempts to eliminate patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny. Of course, we need more gender equality and rights for women. [Read more…]

Parenthood Regrets: Parents Who Wish They Were Childfree

Mandatory parenthood is a trap that can turn out to be hard to avoid for a person who doesn’t want children. In my opinion, if somebody doubts about whether they want children, it is safer to stay childfree, because regretting not having a child is better than regretting being a parent. If you wanted a child but don’t have one, that’s certainly sad, but you can still find other meaningful activities that can make your life happy and fulfilling. If you didn’t want a child but ended up being forced to play the role of a parent against your will, then that’s tragic, because every child deserves a happy childhood and loving parents. [Read more…]

Making Decisions

Why should a person who isn’t a sadist even want to make decisions about what will happen with other people?

Sometimes people find themselves in situations where they are forced to make decisions about somebody else. For example, a parent of a 3 years old child must make decisions about their kid, because a person who is only 3 years old cannot decide for themselves. Alternatively, when a doctor who works at the ambulance gets an unconscious patient who is on the verge of dying, the doctor is forced to make decisions about how to treat this patient without being able to ask what the patient wants.

Contrast these examples with an entirely different situation. An adult person makes a statement: “I want to do X with my body or my life.” Then another person steps in and says: “No, I won’t allow you to do X.” Why would a person who isn’t sadistic even want to have such a responsibility? Why would they even want the legal right to be able to decide for somebody else? [Read more…]