TNET 27 – Charly Says…

When I was writing my thesis, I was listening to music from The Prodigy. One song particularly stuck to mind, because the song’s name is actually one English version of my civic first name.

And because I was actually already called “Charlie” by many of my friends, I have adopted the spelling with “y” and most of them seem to have accepted it. Among my friends I respond actually faster to this nickname than to my formal name.

What was weird that I could not convince any Americans to call me Charly during my stay in USA. They all insisted on calling me with my civic name, whose pronunciation the of course butchered so I did not recognize the sound as my name at all. Funny that, I do not understand why not a single one of them obliged to go for an English version of the name which I explicitly told them that I respond to.

Anyhow, the nickname Charly stayed with me and I have kept it ever since on and off the internet. How did you get your nicknames, if you do not mind me asking?

Open thread, you can talk whatevers, just don’t be an asshole.

-previous thread-


  1. kestrel says

    How frustrating people would not call you Charly! Perhaps they thought it was disrespectful somehow?

    Our nicknames… do you mean, our user names here? I will take it that is what you mean.

    I do wish I were called Kestrel IRL but alas I am not. However, one of my horses is called that! She too has a very long name, just like me, and there was no way to shorten it really, so I just called her Kestrel as her barn name (as opposed to her registered name). I love those birds and there are lots of them in this area, and I love seeing them hovering in the sky, checking for any unauthorized insect activity.

  2. says

    Among my friends I respond actually faster to this nickname than to my formal name.

    I know this feeling. I will absolutely react to “Giliell”. It’s also inevitable when online gets mixed with offline.

  3. Jazzlet says

    Jazzlet was one of our nicknames for our first dog, formally Elsonway Little Jazz, familiarly Jazz. I use it on line as it is gender free. It does sometimes cause confusion with people who assume it means I’m a jazz music fan, which I’m not particularly.

  4. voyager says

    I didn’t have any nicknames when I was young. Voyager is the name I adopted when I started commenting at Pharyngula. It’s partly because I’ve connected to other parts of the world and I feel like an armchair traveler and partly because Voyager is my favourite Star Trek series. Captain Janeway kicked ass.

  5. lumipuna says

    I don’t have meatspace nicknames. My nym (the only one I use online) is an random combination of two Finnish words, “snow” + “red”, chosen just for the aesthetics. Lately, when writing work related stuff in English, I might accidentally almost sign it as lumipuna.

    My last name is basically a Finnish variant of “Thompson”, and since my first name is one that apparently doesn’t easily stick in people’s heads, people often (some persistently) misremember my first name as a “Thomas” variant.

  6. says

    I don’t have any other offline nicks, but there#s the diminutive (in the proper Russian form) that my grandma used to use and my sister uses when she needs something…

  7. rq says

    My name isn’t complicated but people take issue with it because it has a couple of unusual letters (but no complicated combinations!). And it gets horribly mispronounced in English, and often goes unrecognized in Latvian (there are more common names that are similar to the point of having one less letter or one different letter, and people don’t seem to have issues with those names). My mum’s name, too, is so.simple. but English-speaking people insist on mangling it. I don’t even want to get into last names, or my middle name. That being said, no one has ever come up with a short-form nickname for me that I actually approve of (the most obvious one gives me the shivers, I hate it so but I couldn’t say why), except for my old ballet class, but it was an actual lengthening of my name -- and a play on Indiana Jones, which is basically why I liked it.
    I might respond to rq offline, if anyone ever called me that. It’s weird enough in email correspondence, addressing people by their names, or signing off with my name…

  8. Oggie. My Favourite Colour is MediOchre says

    During my life, I have gone by many, many nicknames. The most common is the adult diminutive of my given Germanic name. I have been Billy, Bill, Towhee, Loki, Bilbo, Wild Bill, and Bunny in meatspace. When I first started to comment on blogs, I went by Billy. Then Billy the Atheist (and I had (for a short time) a blog with that name) or (((Billy))) — some claim that I use too many parentheses when I write (go figure). Then a right wing asshat told me that a liberal like me wouldn’t know the military even if it bit me. I pointed out that I am a liberal disabled veteran. And changed my moniker to Billy (A Liberal Disabled Veteran) which became Billy (ALDV). And somewhere along the line, I realized that every single nickname I have ever had, on line or in meatspace, was hung on me by others. So I picked the name of an obscure* Icelandic saint, the patron saint of public lands, as my pseudonym and became Ogvorbis. Which I (fairly recently) shortened to Oggie.

    * Þessi íslenski heilagur er svo óskýr að hann reyndist ekki eins og flestir heilögu.

  9. Jazzlet says

    I mostly use the common shortening of my forename, though when I worked I used the full name as I think that in English names ending in ‘y’ or ‘ie’ are mostly diminutives of girl’s names, and that one is a little more likely to be treated as an adult as a woman if you are not using that sort of diminutive. As for my surname, uff … there are a lot of similar names, if I lived in Cornwall people would get it right, and do when I visit, but most people elsewhere in the UK assume it is one of the alternatives, even when I correct them. I have to be careful if someone is taking down my name that they get my forename and my surname spelled correctly, as even when I spell them out slowly people write down what they think it is going to be rather whatI actually say. My midname is easy, but it isn’t often needed.

  10. avalus says

    I find this fascinating, the usernames come alive.
    @Charly: I hate it when I mangle names, it makes me feel ashamed. But I try my best to learn or use nicknames, if they are offered. Two of my coworkers (from turkish and iranian families) had seemingly infinite patience with me in that regard and were great teachers.

    My username, Avalus, is the name of my first LARP character, a joyful doofus turned mercenary. He was heavily armoured but somhow seldom armed. So instead of mindless whaking*, he prefered to intimidate or talk his way out of the trouble or, if all else failed did a Sir Robin and ran bravely away! Later I appeased my foes by offerings of freshly cooked meals. Fun times were had by being not the bravest and not the brightest, as I could play with and to pretty much everybody.
    The character has long gone to a peaceful rest, away from war and adventure, but the name follows me throughout my online life ever since. And I still react to it in meatspace.

    * Not being to fond of fighting also had to do with the fact that many people thought, that they had to hit me much harder because of my chainmail armour. They thought I would not feel their blows. Why did I wear it all the time? Sheer bloody-mindedness, I guess!

  11. Ice Swimmer says

    My screen name came into being because I had forgotten my FTB password and had to come up with something. I had started to swim in the winter and liked it, so it just sprang into my mind. The previous screen nick was nakkustoppeli, which comes from the Finnish translation of Cyberiad by Stanisław Lem, nakkustoppeli being one of the things that started with “N” that were destroyed because of certain events.

    I do have some meatspace nick names (mainly based on my last name) my friends from the teenage years and early twenties would use and I used one of them as a IRC nick, but my friends don’t want to use them in front of their kids so they use either my first or my last name. My fellow students use my first name.

  12. Nightjar says

    Hey everyone, sorry for being somewhat absent lately. I never expected I would have to learn what allergic rhinitis is at this point in life, but alas… I’ll be doing allergy skin tests two weeks from now.

    My first given name is simple enough, I have only been given two meatspace nicknames but they are used by a very restricted group of people. My cousin who I think of as the sister I never had gave me a nickname that is a fusion of the common shortened versions of my first and second given names, but she’s the only one who calls me that. A small group of international friends call me ‘Dania’, which is an uncommon shortening of my first name and I adopted that for most online interactions (but not all -- my Flickr handle is my non-shortened first name). It was my username when I started to comment on Pharyngula. I changed to Nightjar somewhere along the way because I wanted to try a screen name that wasn’t obviously gendered and because nightjars are fascinating birds I love to watch and hear at dusk.

  13. voyager says

    My sympathies, Nightjar. Allergic rhinitis sucks. I hope they figure it out with the skin tests.

  14. Nightjar says

    Thank you, Voyager. I hope they can figure it out too, and most of all I hope my pets (two cats and a cockatiel) have nothing to do with it.

    Oh, I should add that even though I haven’t been commenting much I still read every post, and I enjoyed the last snowy Jack’s Walks very much. Snowy landscapes are gorgeous and I mostly have to rely on others’ photos to see them. Your photos are, as always, wonderful.

  15. Onamission5 says

    My nym here was given to me by a friend and former coworker because, as she said at the time, I moved with such purpose I should change my last name from ___ to “mission” so I could be “on a mission” everywhere I go. It stuck, and thus, Onamission. Five is just my favorite number.

  16. Raucous Indignation says

    Hello everyone. I haven’t been around much. I have photos to submit that have been riding around in my phone for months. I hung a print by Ellsworth Kelly in the bedroom this weekend. And I thought of Caine, of course, as I do whenever art is about. And I wondered if any of her work is out there. For sale, you know? I have so much space at home and in the office. I’d be so honored to display one of her works. Am I the only one who is thinking this stuff?

    I’ll try to remember to send the photos of the raptor this weekend.

  17. Oggie. My Favourite Colour is MediOchre says

    chigau @12:

    I remember (((Billy))).
    I was different, then.

    Yeah. So was I.

    I was angrier, under a lot more stress, depressed, wondering what was wrong with me.

    I found out. Oddly, it feels better.


    The current estimate for grandparenthood is mid to late June.

  18. says


    The current estimate for grandparenthood is mid to late June.

    Ohhh, a sweet summer child!
    *looks at birthday of very complicated almost teenager living here*
    *falls over laughing*
    Just forget what I said, ‘kay?

    Well, wasn’t I lucky today?
    In the first lesson today I had a parent-teacher talk with the parents of kid X. When I left the staffroom for that talk, I saw the (very complicated) mother of (very complicated) kid Y. I friendlily said hello and she started wagging her finger at me “And if you ever ..” so I told her that I wasn’t talking to her like this, turned around and left her with the headmaster. She yelled that she would report me and all the school to the police.
    After my parent teacher talk I found out that the lady and the adult son she’d brought with her physically threatened the headmaster who literally had to run away and that’s a guy who worked in Afghanistan for 4 years, building up schools while being bombed by the Taliban. He had to call the police and both of them are banned from the school premises.
    Guess who is actually being reported to the police now.
    Man was I lucky.

  19. rq says

    Ohhh, a sweet summer child!

    Yeah, can we just not…? :D I have one summer child and one quasi-summer child (end of May qualifies as just-about summer), and neither one of them is particularly sweet. Well, the one is, but he also carries the devil on both shoulders. Actually, I could probably say the same about the other one, too.

  20. Jazzlet says

    Giliell glad you avoided that, poor kid Y though, it’s not going to help them at all.

    Oggie, I think knowing is always better than not knowing

    I’m not only a summer (August) but a Sunday child. No I am not ‘bonny and blythe and good and gay’. Just typing that makes me growl. I was not any easy teen either.

  21. says

    I am a summer (August) child too. I was not sweet, but I was sick alot. But today my mother thinks I am the most perfectest son she could wish for. Mothers are strange that way, you can’t go by what a mom says.

    Today, on top of returning home after eleven hours of work I found out that we are without heating and without running water. I planned to renovate the central heating from may, but it got delayed and delayed and delayed and delayed untill they finally got to it this week. They finished today, after three days. But due to the year-long drought, there was not enough water in the well to re-fill the heating system. So still no central heating, and I cannot take a shower either.

    Today was not a good day.

  22. says

    Well, one of the kids can actually be described as “sweet”. She was born 9 days shy of Halloween…

    Charly, that sucks. I hope ot can be fixed quickly.

  23. Ice Swimmer says

    It seems the day I was born, 44 years ago, was thanksgiving in the U.S.*. Can I be described as thankful?

  24. Ice Swimmer says

    Charly @ 22

    Ouch, that’s bad luck in spades. Are you going to have to have a new well drilled?

  25. Jazzlet says

    Charly I hope you have alternative heating.

    And yeah, you really can’t trust all mother’s opinions, far too close (sorry mothers!). I was a much longed for, but unexpected -- mum was in her early forties and assumed she was going into menopause … SURPRISE! -- daughter after four boys in the immediate family, three male cousins and no girls on my father’s side for three generations. Both my parent’s opinions of me were … coloured by that status.

    We are having a pudding tonight, usually we don’t bother, but autumn makes me think of puddings, so rice pudding it is.

  26. voyager says

    Hi everyone. Thanks for your good wishes today. Jack is home with 18 stitches and a fair amount of oozing. The dressing keeps slipping down to his toes and it’s in a hard spot to keep covered, but at least Jack isn’t fussing with it. The good news is that they were able to remove the whole lump. We won’t have the biopsy report for about 2 weeks, but the vet said it looked like an ordinary lipoma. I asked the Dr. to take a few photos during surgery (nurses are weird that way) and she’ll be sending them to me tomorrow. Don’t worry, I won’t share

    Drought has such far reaching effects. I hope you can find a solution.

    Rice pudding is my favourite. :D

    Soap bubbles are such an easy thing to make, but I’ve never been able to create a good photo. Thanks for the link.

    Ice Swimmer,
    You should be thankful that you’re not living in the U.S.

    Knowing is better. It’s hard to deal with uncertainty.

    I had no idea teaching could be so dangerous. Some of your stories curl my hair.

  27. says

    The well filled up again overnight, it seems it was just too much to try and fill the system from it in one go -- after all it is nearly one and a half cubic meters of water. Until last week I had prepared two cubic meters of rain water for this, but I had to let it go because it started to freeze and it could tear up the reservoir. All those little delays piled up until the work was done exactly in a situation I did not want it to be done.

    @Giliell, I hope you get good resolution to your problem with murderous mom. If a parent has a legitimate grievance that they think a police should take care of, they should let police to take care of it. Going to the school and threaten violence does no good to their credibility.

  28. rq says

    Stay safe!! It sounds like your profession is more dangerous than policing.

    I’m glad to hear things are mostly sorted -- I hope the little delays are conquered one by one and you get your heating and your hot shower!

    Ice Swimmer
    I don’t know about thankful, but you can certainly have a happy birthday from me! And I am thankful to know you through your photos and comments here at Affinity. So there’s that. Hope you had just the kind of birthday celebration you wanted! ♥

    A smooth recovery and lots of scritches for Jack, and hot relaxing drinks for you! I’m glad everything went well, and I’m looking forward to more of Jack’s walk, as soon as he’s up to it.

  29. says

    Yay for Jack

    Today I stayed at home with #1 because this morning she presented with a mysterious rash. Now, she’s fully vaccinated, but there’s a few things that have no vaccines yet, so I took her to the doc, because I’m not allowed to enter school should she have some contagious disease either.
    And as a topper yesterday a colleague had told me she’s pregnant. You can imagine my worst fears.
    Thankfully it appears to be an overreaction of the immune system after a light cold and with anti-allergic medicine she almost looks normal again.

    It’s a long standing joke that teachers don’t actually get paid for teaching but for pain and suffering…

  30. kestrel says

    Two thumbs up for Jack! Great news.

    Sympathies, Charly. A similar thing just happened to my mother -- she went to visit my brother and while she was gone the furnace quit. She got back to a very cold house but luckily the next day someone was able to fix it for her.

    And I agree, Giliell’s stories are enough to make the hair on the back of your head raise up. Talk about not believing what mothers say about their children!!

    I am attempting to develop a new product line for my jewelry. It’s amazing how much has to go into this… I have been doing my current line for about 15 years, this new line will use different materials and requires a different form of display etc. And the whole time you’re doing it, you keep thinking, no one is going to buy this, I’m wasting what little time and money I’ve got… But what else can you do except move forward? Even though it’s a risk? Well it will be at least a year from now before I’ll know if people will like the new stuff enough to vote with their dollars on it. Best to be patient about these things.

  31. Ice Swimmer says

    Thank you, rq and voyager. I’m quite thankful not to live in America.

    Giliell, stay safe! I only read the threatening mom and adult son thing today.

    kestrel @ 32

    I think there are risks both ways. Doing or not doing. But you’re the one who knows best.

  32. StevoR says

    FWIW. My username is an Aussie nickname for Steven plus an initial although it took me quite a while to settle on it at first after experimenting and trying out quite a few different ones when I was first on the net and getting to understand how it worked -- by among other things making quite a few mistakes.


    Some good news here :

    At least for those of us in Oz -- even our deplorable reich wing govt realising Gavin McInnes is a nazi scumbag who shouldn’t be allowed in.

    Plus a massive rally with some very clever signs and great people :

    My fave sign there being that “I’ve seen smarter cabinets at Ikea” one and overall bringing hope that the future is hopefully going to be in much better hands.

    On that Global Overheating issue, one of the most powerful visual depictions of what’s happening and the difference humans have already made has been updated for this year here :

    and is well worth watching I reckon.

    PS. Best wishes for Jack here too. Beautiful dog and hoping he makes a full recovery. Please give him a gentle pat from me.

  33. voyager says

    Thanks for the good wishes and the good links. Jack’s doing better today. We found a wrapping solution thanks to kestrel and in a day or two we can just put a T-shirt on him.

  34. says

    I wanted to be on my ways already, but we got freezing rain all day yesterday and allnight afterwards. It should thaw in an hour or so according to forecast but it is a bugger.
    Have a good weekend everyone.

  35. rq says

    I spoke French for the first time in years today! I got lost in Brussels and a very nice young man helped me out a lot -- we started off in English, but I found myself explaining the details to him in French and things just kind of went from there. There’s a large gap in my vocabulary, which, oddly enough, didn’t make me feel awkward at all because I was too thrilled to discover that I still know French!

  36. Nightjar says

    My face is in a terrible state. Yesterday we went to the place we used to go mushroom hunting since I was a kid. Our favourite spot was, as I feared, totally destroyed by last year’s forest fires. So we drove a bit south until we found a place that didn’t burn and went into the forest. We found a few mushrooms. But. The mosquitoes. Oh my god, so many mosquitoes. There was no way to keep them from biting and I think at some point I just gave up, considered the situation a blood donation to the local ecosystem and felt grateful I don’t live in a country where I have to worry about mosquito-borne diseases*. Now it itches. A lot.

    *Yet. They will come. Climate change will bring them here eventually.

  37. voyager says

    That’s terrible. I hate mosquitos. I hope you found some good mushrooms to make the trip worthwhile. Oh, and hopefully a few photos too.

    Raucous Indignation,
    It’s good to see you around the place again. You’ve been missed.
    Jack is doing great. His incision is clean and dry and seems to be healing well. He isn’t even fussing with it. He’s such a good boy.

    That sounds like a great idea. Trains are so much fun to ride. Trips must be well priced if the locals are using the service. Do you get discounted rides from your brother? Part of the trouble down east is that the tracks have become unsafe and nobody wants to spend the money necessary for repairs.

  38. says

    Ouch, nightjar, that’s bad. I remember one time when we wanted to stay for a few days at a campsite where the midges were so bad we just couldn’t. My stubborn dad wanted to stay and not have this nice place ruined by a few midges but then “thankfully” he reacted the worst of us to the bites. We took down the tent with silk scarves wrapped around our faces.

    Oh gods, today one of our students was almost run down by a car. I was waiting with my car at the traffic light where the kid wanted to cross the street and then a car sped up from behind, drove past me on the lane for the opposite direction, over the red traffic light and missed the kid by a few hands. Idiot never slowed down or anything. I could read the number plate and will file a police report over the next days.

  39. Jazzlet says

    What a pratt, I hope he gets a suitably deterring fine He really ought to have his license taken away. And comforting hugs/hot chocolate/whatever helps for you as even witnessing something like that gets the adrenaline raging round the system. I hope the student wasn’t too upset.

    Glad to hear Jack’s doing well.
    The railway line is no where near we live and I think I’d pay full price anyway, they need every penny for improvements and maintenace. The Swanage Railway have actually reinstated the connection to the national network, which is a real pain because there are a whole load of different standards they then have to meet, but they really believe that having public transport options is important. On Biggest Bro’s 25th wedding anniversary they hired a train for the whole day to just go up and down the Swanage Railway bit, with food and real ale on board, you could get off at a station to say, go round Corfe Castle, then get back on the train again next time it was passing. It was a lovely relaxed way of having relatives and friends get together with out any of the possible flare ups happening because it was so easy to avoid people.

  40. Nightjar says

    Raucous Indignation
    Good point. I don’t plan to go back to that place without some kind of protection, at least while I remember. My guess is that with such a long extension of burned forest that is still basically sterile the mosquitoes have concentrated themselves in the few green areas that remained. There used to be mosquitoes, but not that many.

    I did get a few photos. Not as many as I wanted, and some were blurred because standing still was… difficult. I won’t be able to go through them until next weekend, and I have a few older ones I’d like to share too… but early December is always a complicated month. Yay for clean and dry incision. :)

    That sounds scary, I’ve had something similar happen to me not that long ago. Since then if I see cars coming I always wait for all lanes to be blocked by stopped cars before crossing. Kids shouldn’t have to go through that experience at all, I’m glad you were able to read the number plate and I hope there will be consequences.

  41. Nightjar says

    early December is […] a […] month

    Hah. I did not mean to imply December is multiple months, though sometimes it feels that way…

  42. Jazzlet says

    I hope the root canal goes smoothly and you are given soe proper pain relif for when the novacaine wears off.

    I’ve bee struggling too, I was actually ill for most of last week and am finding it hard to get much done. Still my SiL is coming round tomorrow and that’s always fun.

  43. Jazzlet says

    I hope you are ok after your root canal.

    Thorn is doing gentle, littlewhines and looking thin, to remind me that it is tea time. She sucks in her cheeks and looks so mournful, it is clear that she is near to death. Unfortunately for her this just makes me laugh. Cruel human.

  44. Ice Swimmer says

    Anne, the best possible recovery from the root canal!

    I was in an Xmas party of the student club I’m mostly involved in. There was xmas food, glögi*, sauna and Santa came and gave a present to people had brought a present. Each of us got to sit on his knee, even the professor who was there (he had been an active member as a student and is a honorary member now).

    * = Glögi is a hot drink that can be mulled wine (possibly with added hard liquor) or a mixture of red fruit juices spiced with cinnamon, ginger and clove and fortified with vodka/viina or Jaloviina**. We had the latter type.
    ** = Cognac cut with vodka.

  45. StevoR says

    Sorry to vent (feel free to skip over this if you want and can) and hope this does some good but ..


    Today “our” Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison ensured the continual imprisonment & torture of refugee children, already grievously hurt and suffering, who did nothing wrong & pose no threat.

    “Our” (retch) PM said he’d do that, he pulled out all the stops as he said he would to guarantee that torture of refugee children happened :

    and he was responsible for their barbaric, cruel mistreatment which he could have prevented long ago had he wished to. Scott Morrison proclaims himself a good Christian*, wishes to paint himself in the (very) fake persona of a just a daggy average “dad” type figure. The reeking hypocrisy of it is gob-smacking albeit typical of his “conservative” type.

    Truth is, he is as bad as Dutton :

    Truly heartless, truly evil and doing all this for short term political gain and hoping to retain personal power, comfort and wealth disgracing our country’s reputation and ruining thousands of real human lives in the process causing incalculable pain and suffering to those with the least power over and least responsibility for their plight and situation. Not merely kicking someone who is down but torturing them, driving them mad and murdering them.

    Its almost a sidenote here that Morrison, a fully owned Trumpian puppet of the Coal lobby and Murdoch empire, is also delaying necessary action that would help if not save our world at least give us more of a chance of keeping its remains liveable longer and with more hope for more survivors and better lives.

    I am fucking crying now.

  46. says

    Root canal Part the First went as well as could be expected. Turned out the problem was with the next tooth over. Which is harder to reach. They offered to do the crown too, but I chickened out. So that’s tomorrow, and there’s still the cracked one to deal with later.

    I’m enjoying having the house to myself this morning -- Paul’s gone to a movie, Kitty’s at school and Shadow’s asleep in Kitty’s bed. Poor Kitty, it’s pouring and her sneakers aren’t waterproof. She pleaded for a ride home, which I’ll do if Paul isn’t back yet.

    I finished Paul’s Christmas present, which is a notebook made from a Little Golden Book. It’s on my Dreamwidth blog if anyone wants to see it.

    There’s jasmine tea, if anyone would like a cup.

  47. voyager says

    Thanks for the tea. I’m glad to hear that things went well with the root canal and here’s hoping the crown goes well too. I love the notebook for Paul. It’s charming and such a good idea.

    Thank you. It’s important that we don’t let the world forget this tragedy, now more than ever it seems.

    Ice Swimmer,
    I’m glad you had a good time at your student club’s party. I hope you asked Santa for a good present. I’m curious about the sauna. That’s something that you wouldn’t find at any student club or office party here because of the alcohol and scanty clothing. There would be too much risk for bad behavior. Was this a mixed gender event? Is this common in Finland?

    Jack could suck his cheeks in and he would still look well fed!

  48. Ice Swimmer says

    voyager @ 54

    It was a mixed gender event, just. There were 20-30 men and one woman. She didn’t come to the sauna*. Sauna in student parties is extremely common. Most of the places the student union rents for events like these have a sauna. There can be separate sauna time just for women, but not always and in the hot room, people are customarily naked, regardless of the sauna being mixed gender or not. Towels are worn outside the sauna, shower and dressing room area.

    If there is a hot tub, it is customary to use a towel while approaching it and take the towel off just before entering.

  49. rq says

    Was this a mixed gender event? Is this common in Finland?

    Saunas at parties are common here, too, though with slightly less nakedness. Gender mixing for sure, though -- unless it’s a very close group of friends, most people will wear bathing suits in and around the sauna. It’s considered very impolite to be in the sauna naked without the express permission of others attending -- alternatively, if you want to go in naked, you find a group of like-minded individuals and ‘schedule’ some time (i.e. warn others there will be nakedness and don’t take all night). And it is especially bad form to be naked in any room outside of the actual steam room, like near the food tables and such.
    It was a strange thing to get used to, but I rather like it -- even with the alcohol, most people have a good grasp of sauna etiquette and it’s definitely an opt-in option dependent on individual feelings of comfort.
    (If I was the lone woman at an event with 20-30 men, I probably wouldn’t go to the sauna, either, but I would go if it was a 20-30 person group but more evenly mixed.)

  50. Ice Swimmer says

    I think mixed-gender nudity wouldn’t happen in company team-building events or anything else related with work. In private settings, genders go usually separately or with swimsuits unless the people are very close or it is explicitly said that it’s mixed-gender, swimsuit optional. In student events, the nakedness and going mixed-gender to sauna is assumed to be the way unless otherwise specified, but you can wear a swimsuit if you want to (this applies especially to foreigners). And yes, people wear at least a towel when they go and get beer or some potato chips.

    I think the etiquette is not to ogle and not to touch inappropriately or do any sexual things in sauna. If the sauna is very crowded and small, sides of people may touch.

Leave a Reply