Minnesota: “I have an eternal perspective…”


Meet Minnesota Rep. Abigail Whelan, a nasty bit of work from every reality-based perspective. Ms. Whelan is a truly fine example of an asshole Christian, filled to the brim with sanctimonious hate. She hates women, and demonstrates that with anti-choice legislation. She hates transgender people, demonstrating that with anti-transgender legislation. And so on. She is, however, very pro-money, and making sure that people have a nice way to tuck all that lovely money away. She recently voted against an amendment to close loopholes for offshore tax havens. Goodness knows, hypocritical corruption must be protected, and well, why talk about that when we can talk about an eternal perspective and joy in Jesus?

Minnesota Rep. Abigail Whelan, a second-term House legislator from suburban Ramsey, was responding to a question from Democratic Rep. Paul Thissen early Wednesday morning about whether she thinks “benefiting people who are hiding money in Liberia is worth raising taxes on your own constituents.”

Whelan ignored the question and instead sounded off about her religion.

“It might be because it’s late and I’m really tired, but I’m going to take this opportunity to share with the body something I have been grappling with over the past several months, and that is, the games that we play here,” she began, leaving the tax haven discussion in the dust. “I just want you to know, Representative Thissen and the [Democratic] caucus — I forgive you, it is okay, because I have an eternal perspective about this.”

She forgives them? For what, having the spine to question the hypocritical corruption she supports? This is a very good example of just why Christians should be barred from holding office, they constantly use their particular religious belief as both a distraction and a cudgel to beat other people with, all the while indulging in the worst sort of behaviour.

Whelan went on to make a case that happiness is not to be found in good public policy, but rather in the eternal love of Jesus.

Aaaaand there it is, that high and mighty Christian “Fuck you, oh, by the way, have you heard about Jesus Juice? It will fix everything!”

“I have an eternal perspective and I want to share that with you and the people listening at home that at the end of the day, when we try to reach an agreement with divided government we win some, we lose some, nobody is really happy, but you know what, happiness and circumstances — not what it’s about,” she continued. “There is actual joy to be found in Jesus Christ, Jesus loves you all. If you would like to get to know him, you’re listening at home, here in this room, please email, call me, would love to talk to you about Jesus, he is the hope of this state and this country.”

I’d like to know why you can’t shut the fuck up about your idiotic mythos, and why you support loopholes in tax havens for filthy rich assholes fucking everyone over. Can you imagine a representative of a different religion popping off like this? There would be howls of outrage, calls for them to resign, and all manner of puffed up pissiness about them “shoving their religion down our throats.” Have that one all pictured? Good. Now, close your eyes, and imagine the impossible: an atheist representative deciding to lecture people on the improbability of gods, rather than loopholed tax havens. Yeah.

Asshole Christians, one of the most obnoxious of specimens, allowed to get away with anything and everything.

Even though she didn’t address the issue when Thissen posed the question to her, Whelan did take a stance on it. She later voted against the amendment to close offshore tax loopholes. Not a single Republican voted for it, and the amendment was defeated in a party-line vote.

You can read more about Ms. Whelan’s abominable track record, and watch a video of the Jesus Juice speech at Think Progress.


  1. johnson catman says

    True. Just reading what the fucking republicans say and do makes me want to smack them hard and continuously.

  2. chigau (違う) says

    Matthew 6:5
    New American Standard Bible
    When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.

  3. Kreator says

    I’d like to share something that baffles me about religion in American politics. Unlike the US, my country explicitly endorses a religion in its constitution: Roman Catholicism. Up until 1994, when our constitution was amended, you actually needed to be Roman Catholic in order to be able to run for president (Carlos Menem, who was the main driving force behind the amendment, had had to convert from Islam in order to do so.) We have a larger percentage of religious people when compared to America: ~85% versus ~78%. Despite all that, however, in times of democracy religion practically has never had such a large role in our political life compared to the USA, except perhaps when it comes to abortion. At most our president will make a point to be present for important masses and Te Deums, and that’s it. No praying during legislative sessions, few claims of divine support, no calls for teaching creationism in public schools. What gives?

  4. says

    Kreator, I’ve read where some people think it’s the whole ‘freedom of religion’ business that ended up making uStates more of a theocracy than countries with a designated religion. I think when there’s an official religion, people feel more free to ignore it, it’s just another tiny piece of red tape. Here, people get seriously defensive over their particular beliefs, and christians in particular thrive on the notion that everyone is out to get them with secularism or some other belief system.

  5. Kreator says

    Oh, that sounds plausible; I was actually considering something along those lines. Thanks!

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