Poseur!

Approximately 1.4 million people have emailed me with a link to this article on body modification (I’m not complaining, do feel free to send me stuff). It includes this picture.

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I’m sorry, but no thanks. That’s a wanna-be kluge. It’s pathetic. The guy has just had some kind of silicone rings stuck under his skin, and I am unimpressed.

Here’s what I want.

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Give me a call when we’ve got gene modification and some method of reiterating ontogenesis in my arms. I want neural control of a sophisticated muscular structure, not some inert faux lump. Adding sharp-edged teeth to the structure is optional, but highly desirable.

And all those tatoos? Bugger those, too. I want these:

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Imagine a whole network of those under your skin, linked by nerves to your brain, with the ability to change color and pattern under conscious control.

I sneer at anything less. The body-modification crowd is hampered by feeble imaginations that think needles and ink and holes and bumps are impressive — I’m holding out for something a little more substantial than cosmetic geegaws.

Tragedy in Northern Illinois

I don’t have anything to add to the story of the lunatic who opened fire on a freshman science class, but here’s a place you can talk about it without the taint of piety that’s getting introduced into all the news stories right now.

The killers who have been executing these school shootings are all mentally ill, sick people. I suspect that the reason schools have been targets is that they are full of optimistic young people who are exercising their opportunity to learn and preparing for a productive place in society … and the hateful, petty pissants who believe guns and violence are the answer resent that. Let’s not see any more proposals that violence in reply is the answer, it isn’t — it’s an echo of the same problem.

Florida’s big problem

A poll by the St Petersburg Times reveals that the people in Florida are ignorant. 21% want creationism only taught in the schools, and 29% want both evolution and creationism taught. It’s a horrendous result, and it’s also strikingly different from the results we’ve see in similar polls, which usually aren’t quite so lop-sided.

Wesley makes a good point, that one reason is the form of the questions asked, which set up an adversarial relationship between religion and science and lead people to make a choice between the two, increasing the likelihood that people will break to support their church. He argues that “framing works,” and proposes a different set of questions that, while generally similar, would produce a less one-sided result.

But wait, hang on there — this doesn’t tell me that framing works. It tells me that you can play rhetorical games with polls and get people to nominally agree with my position, or you can tinker with them to get people to agree with some other position. If the purpose of a poll is to get insight into how the minds of the populace are working, neither is very desirable.

I’m looking at the original poll and seeing that I would have no problem answering the questions in a pro-evolution way — there’s nothing to bias me in any crazy way, but I don’t have any pro-religion buttons to push. What I see in the results is that many Floridians do have great, big, easily manipulated religious buttons, and that 69% are abysmally ignorant of the science they are dismissing. Those are important True Facts, and in an important sense the St Petersburg Times poll is better than the one Wesley proposes: the answers aren’t reassuring, but they do expose the ugly reality we have to confront. There is no virtue in designing a poll that doesn’t push the religion button, because in the real world these people are getting the religious message every day and every week, and leaving it out only allows us to fool ourselves into thinking that the superstition and ignorance fostered by American religion aren’t the fundamental source of creationist foolishness in this country.

I think Wesley is looking for a way to frame the problem away, rather than a solution. If framing works, it is only as a blindfold.

Unbelievable

Saudi Arabia is one screwed up, vile little backwater of a barbarous craphole. You have to read the case of Fawza Falih.

She has been condemned to death. By beheading.

She has been beaten to the point of hospitalization during her incarceration.

The authorities have a signed confession, which she has not had read to her.

She didn’t read what she signed, either, because she’s illiterate.

She and her representatives were not allowed to attend much of the trial.

And the crime for which she is to be executed? Witchcraft. She is accused of casting a spell that caused a man to become impotent, and threatening to cause people to be possessed by dogs.

Apparently, the spells must have worked all too well, since all the men of Saudi Arabia are now cowardly eunuchs with the souls of craven mongrels. At least, that’s the only explanation I can see for their uncivilized behavior.

Fame and power!

If I am to succeed in my goal of overthrowing all of Western Civilization, I must continue to gather notoriety and credibility. To that end, I’ll mention my latest victory: I am mentioned in a webcomic. Look closely at the pile of magazines drawn in the lower left panel…there I am! Soon I shall dominate all media!

Ginny has also acknowledged my ubiquity and puissance by mentioning this cartoon to me, which apparently portrays life at my house.

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Wait…you don’t think she was being sarcastic, do you?

Prophecy!

I have been warned that portents of my personal doom have been issued.

I predict that within one year of this date, Pharyngula, Panda’s Thumb, EvC, RichardDawkins.net and Uncommon Descent will all have so completely degenerated as to become nothing but embarrassing footnotes in the history of internet communication. I also predict that P.Z. Myers and Richard Dawkins will have so embarrassed their home institutions that overt attempts will have been initiated to have their tenures revoked on the grounds of moral terpitude and seeking to overthrow the government. Public institutions like the University of Minnesota and Oxford cannot continue much longer to tolerate representatives so lacking in moral and ethical fiber as these two pathetic products of a “prescribed” and now terminated organic evolution. They make Ward Churchill look like Shirley Temple. Unlike Churchill who was never a threat to anyone, these two actively seek to destroy Western Civilization. I also predict there will soon be an Atheist Political Party. We already have an Atheist Political Action Committee (APAC) and a professed atheist member of the House of Representatives.

It is hard to believe isn’t it?

Fortunately for them, by that date, February 9, 2009, the physical destruction of our civilization will have proceeded to such a degree that thinking people will no longer be concerned about intellectual trash like Richard Dawkins and P.Z. Myers.

You should all be worried. This time next year, you’ll all be huddled in your bunkers as civilization collapses around you, while I’ll be off flaunting my moral turpitude in an opium den with a pair of contortionist twins and a tank of squid, giggling maniacally over my brilliant schemes that have Destroyed the World! Bwahahahahahaaha!

After all, John A. Davison could never be wrong, could he?

Texas = Sodom!

And it’s a good thing! The Texas ban on sale of sex toys has been ruled unconstitutional. There will be a lot of people smiling in that state in days to come — I’d like to think that flooding the state with vibrators would have a salutary effect on the repressive prigs who are also responsible for the promotion of creationism.

So, Texans, you know it’s Valentine’s Day … does this give you any gift ideas?

It’s not just the Muslims

Down there in Weird Kansas, there was a minor incident that is symptomatic of an ugly way of thinking. A high school basketball team refused to allow a woman to referee.

The Kansas State High School Activities Association said referees reported that Michelle Campbell was preparing to officiate at St. Mary’s Academy near Topeka on Feb. 2 when a school official insisted that Campbell could not call the game.

The reason given, according to the referees: Campbell, as a woman, could not be put in a position of authority over boys because of the academy’s beliefs.

It’s also quite possible that her face was uncovered, that she had driven a car to the game, and that she may at some time in the past have actually played basketball in immodest clothing, against men…and she might even have won.

I’m sure that when all of the activities of this domineering Jezebel aspiring to be almost as good as a man are revealed, the upright young men of St Mary’s Academy will march over and burn her.

Oh, but here’s a hint for an organizations that want to exercise discriminatory policies. The local athletic organization is contemplating stripping St Mary’s membership over the issue, but they have to wait on one little thing.

Gary Musselman, the association’s executive director, said the organization will not make a decision until it confirms whether St. Mary’s Academy has a written policy of not allowing female referees to work boys’ basketball games.

Here that, administrators who want to implement racist or sexist policies? It’s OK as long as you don’t write them down.