Somebody has a filthy mind

Is it the French? See that image on the right? That’s a Phrygian cap, and it was the inspiration for the mascot for the 2024 Paris Olympics.

“It’s the symbol of liberty, and it’s also a very strong message linked to the revolution that we want for those games. We want those games (to be) a big success,” says three-time Olympic champion canoeist Tony Estanguet, who is the Paris 2024 president.

Silly, but cute. But wait. There’s a different interpretation.

Fair enough, Mr Estanguet, but on closer inspection, it’s also a very strong message linked to the female anatomy. Because the mascots – quite aside from looking like lunatic Smurf hats – unmistakably resemble gurning plush clitorises with the cold dead eyes of a killer, who could be right at home in a particularly traumatic Cronenbergian fever dream.

Huh? What? That’s a stretch. It only fits if you have an image of a vivisected, chopped out deep chunk of a woman’s genitalia in your head. I don’t. That’s not at all what I picture if I try to visualize a clitoris. Somebody has the gross mind of a serial killer.

But I was wrong. It’s not the French. The people responsible for bringing up this stupid comparison are the English at the Vagina Museum, a London-based exhibition. The English are trying to corrupt the innocent French!

The AIs and the plants have formed an alliance!

Face it, we’re doomed.

This installation enables a live plant to control a machete. plant machete has a control system that reads and utilizes the electrical noises found in a live philodendron. The system uses an open source micro-controller connected to the plant to read varying resistance signals across the plant’s leaves. Using custom software, these signals are mapped in real-time to the movements of the joints of the industrial robot holding a machete. In this way, the movements of the machete are determined based on input from the plant. Essentially the plant is the brain of the robot controlling the machete determining how it swings, jabs, slices and interacts in space.

Those are some pretty aggressive machete moves, I notice.

Buckets?

I’m sorry, but to me the most disturbing part of this story is the buckets.

APennsylvania man has been found with multiple buckets of stolen human body parts that he allegedly purchased off of Facebook, according to police.

East Pennsboro Township Police said that they arrested Jeremy Pauley, 40, of Enola on Thursday after making the discovery while searching his basement. Police said that Pauley is a self-described collector of “oddities” and was in possession of three full human skeletons and up to 20 human skulls, according to ABC affiliate WHTM. He was released soon after posting $50,000 bail.

The investigation began when police received a complaint on June 14 about human remains potentially being sold on Facebook. Suspicion of Pauley’s alleged involvement began after a person called police on July 8 to report finding multiple 5-gallon buckets containing “human organs” and “human skin” in his basement.

Why buckets? Is this a practical way to store your organs? Why? Can you do anything with them, or do you just go down to the basement to gloat over the random viscera floating in your buckets? I mean, I would at least want some classy glass jars, maybe a big vat with multiple organs so you can play with them and assemble them, but this guy’s process is just sloppy and pointless.

I am not at all surprised that Facebook is where you go to buy body parts.

Do you want vampires?

Because this is how you get vampires.

Officials were at first bewildered when they came upon a mysterious ghost ship with no captain or crew on board that had washed ashore on a secluded island off the coast of Cambodia during an intense storm this week.

Cambodian vampires are a little different from the European kind, though: they consist of a floating head with the viscera dangling down below. They are supposed to look like a young and beautiful woman, but an isolated head with a bunch of guts hanging from the neck is a little bit offputting.

What your turkey looks like to a vegetarian

Yuck, this abomination is making the rounds again.

I’m going to see my granddaughter tomorrow. Should I bring her one of these? I don’t really want to see her brought up as a serial killer or a Frankenstein…although it does suggest some cool experiments. If we hook it up to the wall socket, can we make it live?

Unfortunately, as vegetarians, neither I nor my daughter have the spare parts to craft one. We’ve got leeks, and onions, and carrots, and asparagus, and broccoli, and mushrooms, though, and I might be able to concoct a vegan nightmare out of all that.

Alas, the chicken teddy is fake news.

The raw chicken teddy bear, which went viral for the first time in 2013, is actually a piece of art by Russian artist Viktor Ivanov, who said at the time, “On the whole, it made me feel disgusted the entire time I was making it.”

He added: “One should not know what it’s like to sew through skin.”

What? I know what it’s like to sew through skin. I had no idea it was a forbidden art.

Somebody else’s legal drama

I’m weirdly happy to see that I’m not alone in suffering from weird obsessed narcissists abusing the legal system, especially since I’ve never gone through anything this twisted. Lindsay Ellis explains the hot mess of a lawsuit over unbelievably sexual/violent fan fiction, and how someone who claimed to have invented “wolf rape heterosexual erotica fiction” sued to protect her “intellectual” “property”. It’s an hour long. It requires that long to unravel it all.

I’d never heard of the Omegaverse, let alone read any, and guess what? I am totally cured of any curiosity about it!

I want this for a pet

Now.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Posted by Blair Wolf on Sunday, March 13, 2016

I would hug him and squeeze him and name him George and phtagn him for hours and feed him wgah’nagl iä and blood of the iä! Iä! Ph’nglui mglw’nfah Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! Cthulhu fthagn!