Crip Dyke’s Private Conversations: Tomi Lahren and the “Original Feminists”

An insight into the private conversations your friendly, neighborhood Crip Dyke has when she’s away-from-blog:

Tomi Lahren insists that dead feminists would roll over in their graves at this new-fangled feminism that insults men and wears hats.
I’m just wondering where she got that one.

Ah, Tomi. Will there ever be a day when you cease being so entertainingly wrong?


PS: I think I’m gonna kick-start the “OF” trend. “Crip Dyke OF” has a nice ring to it.


  1. chigau (違う) says

    I realised I was a feminist when They™ told me I couldn’t play the Doctor in the “Miss Polly had a dolly” sing-along game. Because I was a girl.
    So, at about 5 years old.
    Can I be an OF?

  2. chigau (違う) says

    when I read the title I read it as “… Private Dyke”.
    Have you ever considered the Private Detective business?
    Can a Dyke be a Dick?

  3. says

    You’ll always be “chigau, OF” to me.

    For about 3 years in the 1990s I drew a comic, The Adventures of Jayme, the Dyke Dick.

    Really it was a series of doodles, occasionally collected in zine form. Jayme was a private investigator that engaged in detailed detective work to discover… various things. Mostly things about whether or not people like Bob Packwood were sexist, but even more about such topics as “Is the Oregonian a piece of shit, woman-hating rag for refusing to publish information that they had about Packwood’s serial assaults on women until just after he had been reelected and 5 years, 11 months before he would have to face election again?”

    Little did I know that they had also concealed the story of Neil Goldschmidt’s sexual abuse of a 14-year old neighbor. (They didn’t have the full story, but apparently they had enough that they should have investigated it and deliberately chose not to do so.) Nor could I have predicted at the time that when the Oregonian finally did publish a story (only after the minor paper Willamette Week did so first) that they would run it under the headline

    Goldschmidt confesses ’70s affair with girl, 14

    Jayme would have had a field day with that one. Her “investigations” were always comically dramatizing the hyper skepticism that sexism could possibly be involved in such actions as grabbing women by the pussy. “I think I found some evidence” was a phrase I remember repeating a number of times, though I don’t think it was catchy enough to be a catchphrase.

    Because I have no talent for illustration, Jayme consisted of a fedora, eyes floating just below the hat, the Windsor knot and dangling-portion of a tie, occasionally a mouth or hands, and, when she was infiltrating more formal environments to dig up dirt, a tweed jacket that partially covered the tie. Mostly just hat, eyes, & tie.

    She interacted with a number of recurring characters that were similarly sparse in their depiction, while one-time characters actually seemed to get a more full-bodied treatment (in part because the lack of reappearance over time meant it was hard to give them personality without adding more details to the drawing). A general rule, though, was that body parts never existed unless they were actually doing something. Hands would be visible when holding something or if communicating something with a gesture, but i never drew them just because people have hands that would normally be visible.

    I actually enjoyed drawing and sharing those so much that for a while I was intending to get a tattoo of one of my Jayme images. With the new cultural associations for fedoras, I’m actually quite glad I never did.

  4. chigau (違う) says

    Jayme sounds like fun.
    I also like OF because it is so versatile.
    Over Forty
    Over Fifty
    Old Fart

  5. jazzlet says

    I have a fedora, I have had one for years. What am I signalling that I don’t know about please?

    Jayme does sound like fun.

    Oh Fuck of course
    Old Fluffbundle (sorry dogs aquire the daftest of nicknames, don’t really know how it happens)

  6. says


    There’s a stereotype of Men’s Rights Activists as fedora-wearing. Although a number of people are aware of the trope ( has covered it more than adequately), I was being tongue in cheek. If you will, I was trying to find a good side to never having gotten a tattoo as cool as Jayme the Dyke Dick.

    I wouldn’t really worry about it. Do your thing and the right people will notice you for the right reasons.

  7. Raucous Indignation says

    I used to entertain my fiancé with short cartoons about the adventures of Burrman™. He was jaunty spikey little fellow that would leap inside the rectums of certain powerful individuals. He was mostly a collection of spikes and points with eyes, a big smile and little feet. He took such joy in making the powerful uncomfortable.

  8. jazzlet says

    @Crip Dyke
    I’m not worrying, I just like to know these things.

    @Raucous Indignation
    Burrman is needed again, I say ‘Please Burrman come out of retirement and save us!’ Or at least amuse us in our hour of need.

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