Update: When It Works So Well Until It Doesn’t

I apologize for my absence.

I have been on lithium for years and years to treat my schizoaffective disorder, but it may have negatively impacted my kidney functioning so I had to stop taking it. Lithium was probably the medication I depended on the most, and while my doctor is working hard to find something to replace it, I’m not going to lie – I’m pretty scared to go without it. All I’ve been doing for the last few weeks is lying around the house and going to doctor’s appointments, and I really, really hate it. I just have to keep telling myself that this isn’t for forever. I think through this experience I’ve developed a healthy respect for my medications because while all of my medications help me and give me a somewhat normal life, I am still putting chemicals in my body, which can have some nasty effects. I will not stop taking my medications – I know I need them – but I never want to go through this again.

I’m trying to get back in the swing of things by submitting my art to a gallery in Cleveland later this week. It might just be the motivation I need.

I will be posting again soon. Thank you for all of your support.


  1. Bruce Fuentes says

    My oldest son was on lithium for years until the same situation developed. They switched him to Risperidone. I think he is still on that. I will check to see if that is still what he takes. His situation is quite a bit different. He is mentally impaired and has significant mental health issues. He has been on psychotropics since before I adopted him when he was 11. He is 41 now. He is able to function quite well. He lives in assisted living, holds a job, and rides the bus by himself.

  2. Katydid says

    Glad you gave us the update, so sorry you’re struggling with the loss of a medication that works for your mental health, but not your kidneys. I’m guessing your doctors are working with you to find something to manage your symptoms, which might make you feel off-balance while they fine-tune?

    Remember that you’ve got support–your husband, your doctors, and YOURSELF! (and us, but we’re just randos on the internet who wish you the best but can’t be there with you) Be kind to yourself right now–you’re doing the best you can and actively seeking help.

    If you want an example of how bad things can get, look to Britney Spears. Girl went completely off the rails in her 20s–staggering around town screaming at randos, getting married and divorced to randos, leaving her toddlers with her bodyguards to go get high for days, etc etc. It was so bad a judge made her father responsible for her. On meds, she settled down and worked and went on vacations and lived a fairly-normal life. The second she was free of that, she went right off her meds and right off the rails again–screaming at waiters in restaurants for waiting on her, attacking other restaurant patrons with an umbrella, running around town screaming in a fake British accent, attacking performers she hadn’t interacted with in two decades and her own teen sons, gyrating naked on social media, and attacking her husband in his sleep.

    You are thoughtful and committed to your best care. It won’t get that bad for you because you have people around you working hard to support you AND YOU LISTEN TO THEM.

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