In my hour of desperation, all I can do is write, but I’m keeping this short and sweet.
It’s been a rough day.
My eating disorder is an everyday battle. It’s so hard to keep fighting, but I don’t have a choice. There are tools I can use, but I’m exhausted. I need to use my last little spark to push forward.
Society’s judgments and my unsupportive family weigh me down but I’m realizing my strength and learning I have a voice. I’m not looking for a normal life; I just want to be healthy and functional. You haven’t walked in my shoes – nor I in yours – but I don’t need your understanding; I need your kindness and grace.
To everyone in recovery – no matter what from – I see you and tomorrow is a new day. Let’s keep going.
There is a different cause for me, but I empathise with the exhaustion from fighting against a chronic health problem that will never really go away. You’ve succeeded before and you will succeed this time – I tell myself that otherwise I’d be mired in the depths of depression all of the time. And it is actually true, for both of us.
I am going to the funeral of one of my older brothers on Thursday, bad enough in itself, but I am seriously dreading seeing another of my brothers. I had to talk to him on the phone last week and it put me in a funk for the next couple of days. *sigh* There will be lots of other family there who I do love and want to see, I am trying to concentrate on them . . .
I hope you feel better tomorrow.
Pierce R. Butler says
Hang in there!
Respect and virtual (((hugs))) from me if you want them.
May tomorrow be a better day and may there be many more better days to come. Best wishes.
Ashes, I am so sorry you are having a bad day. Just remember, you are tough, you are resourceful, you have found a loving mate and birthed a wonderful child. You have a job you love, and a roof over your head, and you get to do art.
Hang in there: a better day is just around the corner!
Marcus Ranum says
Keep moving. One step in front of another. Life is a long-term game.
Since there’s no higher power, there’s just your self. And you’ve gotten your self this far, you can go all the way.
The French have an expression I love, which is “bon courage” (literally, good courage) – it’s so much better than “good luck” or “thoughts and prayers” or whatever. So, I wish you bon courage.
William Brinkman says
I wish you well.