The Pinnacle of the Human Experience.

Dave Daubenmire has a recent column up, where he tries for “hey, look, I’m a reasonable guy” instead of his usual rant at the top of his voice idiocy. There’s still plenty of idiocy, interspersed in between attempts to establish his credibility as a feminist, but only a proper one, y’know. I’m going to skip all that, and the bit where he finds it necessary to try and illustrate empathy by how he treats his aging dog. This is important, because while Dave has never been a dog, he can feel for one. Just like Dave has never been a woman (something he takes great pains to emphasise), he can certainly feel for them. By golly, Dave is even married to a woman! And it is pointed out, more than once, that his wife is a genuine, born that way woman. Now, with all that out of the way…

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Crushed By A Giant Bag of Drugs! Bad!

The Tiny Tyrant is talking again. Sad! Bad, too.

President Donald Trump said in an interview on Air Force One during the flight to France that his border wall with Mexico won’t just be solar powered, it’ll be transparent so that people don’t get crushed when drug dealers throw “large sacks of drugs” over the wall.

[…]

“One of the things you need with the wall is transparency,” said Trump. “You have to be able to see through it in other words, if you can’t see through that wall — so it could be a steel wall with openings, but you have to have openings because you have to see what’s on the other side.”

Why does the president believe you need to be able to see through the border wall? To avoid getting crushed by giant sacks of drugs being thrown in from Mexico, of course.

“As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”

I thought “the wall” was supposed to stop all those bad hombres with the evil weed, yeah? Doesn’t seem to be much point, if you can just walk up and heave big bags of drugs capable of crushing someone over the side. Will there be lines of trebuchets, perhaps? What’s to stop people being heaved over the great transparency?

Apparently, some of the details are that the wall will be 55 feet tall. You have to have one hell of an arm to be pitching gigantic bags of drugs over the side. Right.

You can see some choice responses here.

Kellyanne’s Flash Cards.

More like flash paper, really.

Senior White House adviser Kellyanne Conway on Wednesday deployed two small flash cards to make the case that there has been no collusion between the Trump administration and Russia … “yet”.

Speaking to Fox News host Sean Hannity, Conway said she was using the cards “to help all the people at home” understand the significance of revelations that Donald Trump Jr agreed to meet a Russian lawyer, after being told the lawyer would provide damaging information about Hillary Clinton because the Russian government was supporting his father’s presidential campaign.

At the end of her interview with Hannity, Conway held up her first placard, which read: “conclusion, collusion”.

Conway crossed out the word collusion and explained: “What’s the conclusion? Collusion? No. We don’t have that yet.”

She then held up a second card, which read “Illusion, delusion”, and said: “I just thought we’d have some fun with words.”

I have fun with words all the time, words are wonderful. That said, I’m something of a stickler for using them correctly. Unfortunately, Ms. Conway doesn’t allow herself to be bothered by that overly much.

Defending the Trump administration, Conway told Hannity the media talks “more about Russia than America”.

The cards, she said, were like Sesame Street’s “Word of the Day”, a reference to the children’s TV show which features a segment in which Elmo and occasionally other muppets, such as the hapless Grover, explain the meaning of words such as vote, stumble and canteen.

I have Word Wednesday every week. What I do, and what Sesame Street does, is to provide nifty things like definitions of those words. That’s not at all what Ms. Conway was doing. She was attempting to switch one word for another in blatant propaganda style.

Conway later tweeted a link to an article about her segment and said: “Apologies to the humorless.”

I’m not humorless, Ms. Conway. I find often find you quite funny, but not in any way you meant.

But by Thursday morning, inevitably, her appearance had become a meme:

Scott Kerr: Kellyanne Conway did the worst version Bob Dylan’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues”

You can see additional responses at The Guardian.

“Trump’s crackdown on satanic pedophile and child sacrifice cults…”

Sacrifice of Isaac, Caravaggio.

Mark Taylor is a former firefighter who styles himself a prophet. I had not heard of him before today, but that’s not surprising as self-styled prophets are popping out of the woodwork everywhere these days. I get the feeling that Mr. Taylor is attempting to rival Alex Jones.

“Divine justice is being poured out right now,” Taylor said. “3,000 elite pedophiles have been arrested since the inauguration, but that’s not a whole lot of common knowledge, people don’t understand that because they’ve had a 100 percent media blackout on it.”

Oh yes, a media blackout, but you know all about it! That’s how these things work when you just dream them up. I’m getting pretty damn tired of all this “divine justice” which is conveniently invisible, with no discernible effect on our particular plane of reality. If that all mighty Jehovah is real and hanging about someplace, let him show hisself already.

Taylor said that thousands of well-known, high-ranking figures have been arrested in recent months as part of Trump’s crackdown on satanic pedophile and child sacrifice cults, but we are not hearing anything about it because Trump is keeping it all under wraps.

Ah. I’d think that if well-known, high-ranking people went suddenly missing in large numbers, someone would notice. There would, at the very least, be rampant speculation.

“The Clintons are going to go down, Obama is going to go down, they’re all going to go down,” Taylor said. “Time is up for those who are corrupt … God is very serious when He says He is going to clean house. Everybody keeps asking, ‘When is it going to start, when is it going to start?’

This body is not asking that at all. Corruption. That happens to be a frequently used category on Affinity, always used whenever there’s a post about the Tiny Tyrant and/or his hench ants, the rethuglicans and the other filthy rich. Y’know, those financially elite people. It’s of interest to me how on the conservative side, elite has been twisted about to mean knowledgeable/educated for the most part. The decades long move towards obscurantism has gathered great speed, and conservatives of all stripes are doing whatever they can to make education not only a very bad thing, but to strip most peoples’ ability to obtain any. Trump is held up by idiots everywhere as non-elite, using their very own definition. And, in the sense of dumber than dirt, they are correct. In the actual sense, of course, they are wrong. Mr. Taylor seems to be yet another who is using elite incorrectly, and obviously derides anyone who has an education, and uses it, oh, to speak in full sentences which are coherent. Awful stuff like that.

It’s already started, it’s just they’re not saying anything. And the other thing you have to understand, with Trump being ten places ahead of everybody else, he’s not going to tip his hat as to what he’s doing.”

:Tries to not choke on tea: Goodness. The Tiny Tyrant is ten paces ahead of everyone else? Okay, I’m just going to be gobsmacked here. It seems to me that Trump has a very difficult time keeping pace with anyone else.

“You’re just going to wake up one morning and Hillary Clinton is going to be in jail,” he said, “[and] it will be a sign to the United States that that spirit called Jezebel has been locked up and the key thrown away.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. Can this tiring business not be dropped already? There’s no such spirit as Jezebel, and I’m getting pretty sick and fucking tired of women being blamed for every damn thing ever. Ms. Clinton won’t be jailed, she’s not hosting any spirits, and she’s not the most evil thing since Eve, either. What an idiot.

Via Right Wing Watch, where there’s video, if you’re feeling like you need to be mean to yourself.

No Worries, “God” Will Heal All Diseases.

Jehovah Drowns People For No Good Reason. Gustave Doré.

Gordon Klingenschmitt is having another rant, this time about Planned Parenthood, what else. If Planned Parenthood is killed off, well then Jehovah will be all happy, and heal all diseases. He uses a passage from Exodus for this reasoning:

15:26 And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

I’ve always had a particular loathing for the story of the Egyptians in Exodus, it’s a stark illustration of the psychopathic nature of Jehovah. When I was a child, I never could get past the “hardening of the heart” business. It was clear to me, even at a young age that this was a particularly nasty, sleazy cheat. As Steve Wells points out*:

So Moses rounded up all three million or so Israelites, their flocks, herds, cattle, unleavened bread, and all the silver, gold, and clothes that they could steal from the Egyptians and left town.  [See Exodus 12.34-38] And everything would have ended happily ever after, too, if God could have resisted the temptation to harden the Pharaoh’s heart a few more times. You see, the Pharaoh’s heart was just too damned soft to suit God. So he set about hardening it a bit more. (He had to harden it 8 times to pull off his last killing.) (14.4, 14.8, 14.17-18.)

Now, there is a bit more about medical care in the bible, which Gordon has conveniently neglected:

16:12 And Asa in the thirty and ninth year of his reign was diseased in his feet, until his disease was exceeding great: yet in his disease he sought not to the LORD, but to the physicians.

16:13 And Asa slept with his fathers, and died in the one and fortieth year of his reign.

See? Don’t go to doctors, ever! Doctors are awful, and you’ll die. You just need to pray, have faith, or touch the right religious leader’s hankie. There’s nothing at all about Planned Parenthood, or idiots who think terminating a pregnancy is the same as infanticide.

Part of Gordon’s little rant here:

“You know what the solution to America’s healthcare crisis is?” Klingenschmitt asked. “Obey the Ten Commandments, stop funding abortion, stop funding child killing and God will heal your diseases, America. The supernatural blessing of healing is available if we stop working with the demonic spirit of murder.”

Klingenschmitt proclaimed that if America were to repent for the sin of abortion, then “we would receive [God’s] healing and wouldn’t need to rely on socialist healthcare.”

The problem there, Gordon, is that I don’t believe in your psychopathic god, and I don’t care one whit about that evil creature, who is the obvious villain in every story. So, even if we were to pretend Jehovah existed, that would make me one of the Egyptians in his eyes, so I wouldn’t come in for that wondrous healing of all diseases. It would be lovely if you fucking idiots could figure out that not everyone in this mess of a country are christian, and that many of us have zero interest in becoming one.

*I receive no monies from Amazon.

Via Right Wing Watch.

Bodies! Naked Bodies! Quelle Horreur!

ESPN has been producing a body issue since 2009. I don’t care for sports, but it’s always nice looking at happy naked people, and the photography is spectacular, and all kinds of body types grace the issues. On the cover of this years issue is a woman who happens to be an amputee. There are no naughty bits on view, as that would be too much for the prudery of Americans. Apparently, some conservatives have just now figured this out, and are most outraged.

ESPN’s latest controversy has nothing to do with politics or sports performance. The sports network is now resorting to nudity for magazine sales and internet clicks to lead the world in entertainment. ESPN magazine’s “The Body Issue” presents 23 male and female athletes not only out of uniform but completely out of clothing. If your business is flagging, as ESPN’s is, just resort to the lowest common denominator.

Now resorting? They’ve been doing this 8 years. Where was your outrage eight years ago? Obviously, ESPN is not doing this to shore up flagging business.

Putting the anti-Trump and LGBT agendas aside for the time being, ESPN’s website is promoting the athletes-turned-exhibitionists in shocking athletic poses. Each is portrayed taking athletic stances or actions corresponding to their respective sport. Rear ends are completely exposed in several photos. Men and women hide their fronts, and women cover their breasts with their hands or arms. Very little is left to the imagination.

Oh my oh my. There is nothing in the least bit shocking about their poses. They are fantastic, and I give them all the credit in the world for pulling off what has to be a difficult shoot, often outdoors, in mid-athletics while having to keep the naughty bits hidden. All kudos to the photographers, too, for an incredible job. Goodness, butts! Whatever will we do, having been exposed to some rather magnificent arses? Me, I’ll enjoy them. Actually, a fair amount is left to the imagination, and I expect that’s more of a problem for you fuckwits.

ESPN.com posted a photo and cutline about the nudity. ESPNW is displaying stories and videos on some of the participating nudists.

Oh the drama! They aren’t nudists, you idiot. Are you a nudist because you take off your clothing to bathe, assuming you do so? Are you a nudist if you remove your clothing to make love to your partner, assuming you do? No. Taking your clothes off for a photo shoot doesn’t make anyone a nudist. I’m more of a nudist than any of the people featured over the last eight years, I often don’t bother dressing, especially if I’m going to be painting. It’s easier washing paint off skin than clothing. Even that doesn’t make me a nudist, though.

This isn’t ESPN magazine’s first body issue; it’s the ninth. It seems this crass outfit is intent on shocking people and distracting sports’ fans attention away actual sports. Now when families attend a sporting event, their children may remark about the athlete that actually has his clothes on.

Oh, how nice of you to notice. Now, now, don’t be projecting your shock all over the place, it isn’t polite. It doesn’t shock me in the slightest. I can appreciate bodies just fine. I hardly see how this directs peoples’ attention away from sports. It’s not as though most athletic uniforms are made for modesty. The children! Of course. Could it get more boring or stupid? So, a child might make a remark about an athlete with their clothing on. And?

I encourage all parents with children in the home to adjust their computer filters by adding ESPN.com and espn.com/espnw/ to their blocked lists to protect them from this.

ESPN postures itself as culturally enlightening, but the truth is this morally bankrupt media organization is contaminating our culture and taking it downward.

Hahahahahaha. Do fuck off. Not that I don’t have suspicions about copies of ESPN’s body issues being secreted someplace in your abode sir, most likely the lavatory. After all, you can’t get all properly outraged without a lengthy and minute examination of all those delicious bodies, right?

Link.

What Consequence?

UN Ambassador Nikki Haley on Face the Nation.

“I think that is what it is,” Ambassador Haley said. “President Trump still knows that they meddled, President Putin knows that they meddled, but he is never going to admit to it and that’s all that happened.”

Dickerson tried to pin down the Trump appointee on what consequences Russia will face.

“Not just Russia, any country needs to know that there are consequences when they get involved in our elections,” Haley claimed, without citing interference by any other country or listing consequences.

Right. So everyone knows Trump is a liar. Everyone knows Putin is a liar. “There are consequences!” Really? What consequences? We have an illegal idiot with delusions of grandeur sitting in the white house, who apparently, cannot be ousted, even though there are near countless legal reasons to do so. What has happened to Russia, outside of Trump wanting to hand Putin whatever the fuck he wants? Some consequence.

Full story and video here.

Sunday Facepalm.

In the coming days, 100 US Senators will be delivered an important package. But this delivery won’t be a simple note from one of their constituents. Within days, every single US Senator will be delivered Baby Hope, a twelve-week old baby, with a personal message from her to defund Planned Parenthood and redirect tax payer dollars to community health centers.

[…]

Here is the letter to every US Senator from Baby Hope:

Dear Senator,
My name is Baby Hope. I’m only 12 weeks old, but I want to live. Sadly, there is a high likelihood I will be killed by Planned Parenthood before I ever get a chance to be born. Even worse, Planned Parenthood, America’s largest abortion provider that kills 900 preborn babies like me each day, would get paid by American taxpayers to kill me.

However, you can stop Planned Parenthood from killing me and many others. Here’s how: Vote for a health care bill that will not subsidize abortion and will redirect abortion giant Planned Parenthood’s taxpayer funding to community health centers.

For my sake and hundreds like me, I beg you to refuse to fund abortion and Planned Parenthood in the health care bill.

Please protect me.

Sincerely,

Baby Hope

Dear anti-autonomy asshole christians,

It would be ever so nice if you all would get one tiny fact into your malnourished, underused brains: no federal or taxpayer monies go towards terminations. Please repeat that to yourselves as many times as necessary for it to penetrate those pea brains. Federal monies go to womens’ health, as in breast exams and other cancer prevention, among other things.

As for Baby Hope, please shove her where the sun don’t shine. What women do in regard to their own bodies is none of your business, and trying to remove one of the only sources of healthcare for women is not helping them. Nor are your “community health centers” or your “women’s clinics”. Your personal hatred of women is your business, of course, however, your thirst to see it translated into an increasing amount of women dead, along with a higher number of children born into dire circumstance needs to stop. Learn to mind your own damn business, and try something different, like looking after children who are bereft of care. There are plenty of them. There are also many children in this country who go without adequate food every day. That situation could use more attention. Women do not need you fucking assholes constantly attempting to control every aspect of their lives. You could always turn to advocating for comprehensive sexual education, accessible, affordable birth control, and more education for girls. Those are all proven methods in reducing abortions.

As always, since you find women being allowed full human rights and control over their own bodies so terribly distressing, I give you my constant suggestion: leave it up to that piece of shit god of yours. You’re the ones who think he’s so great and mighty and all that. Seems to me you must be pretty damn sure there’s no such god at all, else you’d be happy to put it all in his hands, no?

Via ChristianNewsWire.

DO NOT TOUCH.

SCREENGRAB.

Most of us learn early in life the delicious temptation of “Do Not Touch” and manage to get over not having license to touch every thing on the planet. Apparently, Mike Pence never got that particular lesson. He might have made an effort at a less obvious, furtive slide of the fingertips anywhere except under the note with “DO NOT TOUCH” on it. And here Pence thinks he’s the perfect model of morality in the christoverse. Tsk. For shame, Mikey.

The Guardian has the story, along with many of the reactions across Twitter.

God has raised up…a breaker anointing.

If anything is to be said for the nonsense to follow, it’s that it’s at least somewhat accurate. Not the “god” business, of course, but the extremely limited skill of the Tiny Tyrant.

“So, you know, North Korea, you’d better be on your toes because you’re up against a breaker anointing of God,” he said. “This isn’t about politics, this isn’t government as usual, this isn’t even militaristic, God has raised up…a breaker anointing. Anything that God opposes him against, he breaks up. He broke up the Republican Party…he broke up the Democratic Party, he broke up the news media. Everything that comes against him, he has a hammer against. So, I’m telling you, North Korea, you’d better stand down because you’re up against the breaker anointing of God.”

Does it really need to be pointed out, even to fundamentalist, conservative christians, that having only one tool that allows you smash, and nothing more, is not a good thing? Regardless of any “hammer”, it won’t stand up to nuclear weapons; nor will it stand against other nations coming to the conclusion that America no longer has any significant role to play on the world stage. Isolation is not the glory the Tiny Tyrant attempts to sell.

Bakker and Amedia then discussed the president’s volatile Twitter presence, which Bakker said was all part of the “gift of wisdom” that God had told him he gave Trump.

No matter how you slice it, Jehovah keeps winning the worst god ever dreamed up contest. The idiocy which keeps drooling out of Trump could not pass as wisdom under any definition. More than half the time, it barely reaches coherency.

Amedia offered that Trump tweets because he gets bored with nonconsequential things, part of his God-given gift of “discernment.”

Well, that’s, um, special. Pretty much all the Tiny Tyrant does tweet about is non-consequential crap, so I wouldn’t call that discernment, of any kind. For one thing, in order to be discerning, it certainly helps if you have knowledge of things first. We can definitely rule that one out.

“I believe he receives downloads that now he’s beginning to understand come from God,” Amedia said.

:Snort: Ah, it’s downloads now, is it? There’s always this terrible desperation on the part of fundamentalists to sound modern and relevant, and they never, ever get it right. That sort of thing will happen when you insist on believing in a god that would be too psychopathic and regressive for the stone age. If Donny’s receiving downloads, they’re coming in on a floppy disk in a worn out drive.

Right Wing Watch has the story, and video.

A Request For Horror Stories Leads To Love Stories.

Screenshot.

The Indiana Republican Party had the bright idea to set up their FB to ask constituents for their ACA horror stories, but it backfired most spectacularly. There was plenty of horror, but it was splattered all over those rethuglicans who though they were being so clever.

The Indiana Republican Party has requested that the state’s constituents share their “horror stories” with ObamaCare, the Indianapolis Star reported Tuesday.

“What’s your Obamacare horror story? Let us know,” the GOP party wrote in a Facebook post as it sought to collect negative stories about the Affordable Care Act, such as higher premiums or insurance companies leaving the market.

Many of the people respondents, however, flooded them with stories about how the healthcare law has positively affected their lives.

“My sister finally has access to affordable quality care and treatment for her diabetes,” one person wrote, according to the news outlet.

“My father’s small business was able to insure its employees for the first time ever. #thanksObama,” another said.

Another person claimed that “the only horror in the story is that Republicans might take it away.”

Rethugs should seriously give up on the trying to be clever business, it never works out. The Hill has the story.

In yet an even more embarrassing move by the GOP geniuses, they decided to tweet out what they thought were cutting remarks and questions to assorted democrats, asking them where their healthcare plan was. In this effort, they included the Clintons, neither of whom hold office at the moment. I would have thought that much hadn’t escaped them. Naturally, the Twitterati have been merciless, if more than a bit exasperated. Raw Story has the full story and assorted tweets.

Crucifix! Crucifix! Crucifix!

Evangelist Joshua Feuerstein is all upset again, this time demanding a crucifix icon as some sort of rebellion (or possibly protection) against all those evil rainbows. Facebook has no intention of providing a crucifix for all the christians to mount themselves on, so good for them.

One user wrote:

“Remember GOD used the rainbow as a promise never to flood the earth again…but he will burn it with fire…so get ready…you can’t use a symbol that God created and pervert it without repercussions,”

Oh, christians are always so gosh darn loving, it just oozes out. Like poison. Such puerile whining! Where in the fuck is your faith? Why doesn’t that sustain you in the absolutely unbelievable torment and anguish of a rainbow icon? Isn’t suffering good for the soul? It’s all “god’s” plan or will or whatever? Mysterious ways, all that shit? Well, if I have to go up in flames, you’ll go too, if that vaunted flood of yours is any example. Unfortunately, any flames we see are more likely to be those of our own doing, in regard to climate change.

Via Raw Story.

Oh, Trumpholes.

A rather large “oops” on the part of Trumpholes yesterday. Apparently, every 4th of July, NPR reads the entire Declaration of Independence. So far, so good, if you like that sort of thing. Unfortunately, the next thing NPR did was to tweet out the whole text line by line, and the Trumpholes took exception to it, thinking it was yet another horrible leftist move which was saying terrible things about the Tiny Tyrant.

D.G. Davies, replying to @NPR: So, NPR is calling for revolution. Interesting way to condone violence while trying to sound “patriotic”. Your implications are clear.

Parker Molloy: NPR tweeted out the entire Declaration of Independence, and wow…uh…the responses are…something.

Via Raw Story, where you can see more of the tweets in question. Raw Story also has an interesting article up about a young reporter who turned a bit of the Declaration of Independence into petition form, and tried to get people to sign it in 1951. One person signed it, having recognized the origin. All the other people accused him of perpetrating a commie plot.