Auggh No, This Does Not Make Me Want To Stay Alive!


If you’re a courageous soul, then go ahead, play the video. It’s the absolute slaughter of the Bee Gee’s Staying Alive. I cut out when I got to the “I got my food, I’m staying alive” part. It seems pizza is also mentioned, but I didn’t get there.

“This show today is so important,” Bakker warned. “God woke me up and I felt the presence of God like I never felt and He said, ‘Jim, I want you to do more food, build a new type of food.’”

“This is what God is saying to me,” he added. “We’re in the Last Days. The years I spent in prison, God showed me the revelation and I’m telling you, almost all of it [has already happened.] We’re going to see the End of Time and that is where we are right now.”

What happened to the whole rapture business? I thought all the good christians were gonna be whisked away. Anyroad, think before you click play, that’s one unholy horror show.

Via RWW.

Comments

  1. blf says

    What happened to the whole rapture business? I thought all the good christians were gonna be whisked away.

    There would be fewer people susceptible to the cons of parasites like Bakker. In other words, his income would drop.

  2. blf says

    I wonder how blase-like these [last days] will pass?

    I can still dig the dodgy melon out of the trash. They can then do their feeding multidudes thing, resulting in days and fields full of smelly multicoloured additional bellyaching.

  3. busterggi says

    Funny, six months ago we weren’t going into the last days afterall because Jimbo said god had sent Trump to save us. Wonder why Jimbo & god have changed their minds?

  4. says

    Apparently, according to some of the preppers I’ve interacted with, the rapture comes *before* The End but *after* a whole bunch of epically super bad times. So you gotta eat (and shoot people who wants what you’re eating) for a bit before being wisked away to watch us heathens be tortured forever. Or something.

  5. says

    I thought all the good christians were gonna be whisked away.

    They were!!! And all the christians we’re left with are the ignorant chucklefucks god didn’t want.

  6. rq says

    And all the christians we’re left with are the ignorant chucklefucks god didn’t want.

    So basically all of them. Great.

  7. Ice Swimmer says

    That must have been the most flabby version of Stayin’ Alive, ever. Nobody was “in the pocket”, more like “in the bucket”.

    Don’t xtians say that the devil cannot create anything, he can just corrupt something good?

  8. says

    Ice Swimmer:

    Don’t xtians say that the devil cannot create anything, he can just corrupt something good?

    :snort: I think they’re ignoring that one.

  9. johnhodges says

    I second what Marcus Ranum said. The Rapture has already happened. All of the REAL Christians have already vanished.

    I once read through the four Gospels collecting everything Jesus is reported to have said about what his followers should DO, and abstain from doing. It turns out to be quite a list. And Jesus also says clearly that actually DOING everything that Jesus commands his followers to DO is a necessary condition for being saved. It is not a sufficient condition, Yahveh must also be feeling gracious, but it is necessary; if you do NOT do everything Jesus commanded, you would NOT be saved. Consider the Great Commission: 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Is there any denomination today that teaches that?

  10. says

    Johnhodges:

    In the gospels, Jesus also states, more than once, that he upholds the law, meaning all the crap in the old testament, much of which is conveniently ignored by christians, unless it happens to suit their bigoted hate.

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