I know that Florida Man gets all the press, but Minnesota Man is an up-and-comer.
Officers arrived at the couple’s home and found the words “Death Parde God Hell” spray-painted on the front door. A naked Duane Johnson allegedly ran outside and said his wife was dead, then ran back inside to take a bath. He was later found in the bathtub hallucinating and trying to wash white and black “things” from his skin, according to deputies.
Debra Johnson’s body was found wrapped in a sheet the top of the stairs, deputies said.
The newspaper reported that Debra had been living in a nursing home, but Duane checked her out days earlier because she wanted to die at home.
Duane Johnson said they took methamphetamine and she stopped taking her medications. They spent their final hours having sex and “rocked out” to their favorite metal band, Quiet Riot.
He said when Debra couldn’t eat or drink, he used snow to moisten her mouth, according to the court documcents.
Duane said Debra began having convulsions, but wouldn’t let him call police. After she died, Johnson said he washed his wife’s body and wrapped her in linen “like the Bible told me to do.”
They casually mention that he ran naked outside. That was on Wednesday, when it was below -30°C. Florida Man couldn’t do that!
I have to respect their commitment to death with dignity, where they get to decide what dignity means.