If you masturbate an elephant wrong, you might get a black eye

The things one learns on the internet — now I know the proper way to stimulate a bull elephant, in case the opportunity ever comes up. It looks strenuous and hazardous.

I’m also amazed at the way the elephant just stands there and accepts servicing by the team of creepy bipeds. If some small species of mammal tried to massage my prostate, I’d be on a rampage of squealing disgust trying to get the icky creatures out of my butt.