Today’s Heartwarming Hospice Story

Okay, here it is:

Two people, one twenties or thirties, one preschool age, sit in a waiting area in the hospice. There is silence for several minutes. Both are deep in thought.
Preschooler: Is butter lettuce vegan?
Twenties or Thirties: Yes.
Both return to deep thought, and the waiting area is quiet again.

In case you’re curious about whether BFF had a chance to comfort her mom, the answer was no yesterday, mom was unresponsive all day. But today I got this text from BFF:

[Sibling] and I just visited her. She was asleep. Once she squeezed my hand, once she opened one eye. I brought stuff from her apartment that she isn’t going to appreciate, but I do.

Rage, says BFF, because it feels necessary. But it is likely the quiet gentleness that we will both remember.

 

 

We Have No Idea What The FUCK You’re On About, Texas, But Alito & Thomas Have THOUGHTS Anyway

The State of Texas’s motion for leave to file a bill of complaint is denied for lack of standing under Article III of the Constitution. Texas has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another State conducts its elections. All other pending motions are dismissed as moot.

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A Story What Is Crucial To Your Existence

Okay so I have a bunch of Peace Corps friendly non-friends, which is weird because I never did peace corps, but my oldest friend did and I met a bunch of Peace Corps hippies while working in a museum ages ago.

So these Peace Corps hippies (and, bizarrely, a couple Peace Corps capitalists? What’s up with them? How did they get in to the PC in the first place? Perhaps we shall find out in this story?) all still talk to each other, even though they worked in different places around the world. So one of these folks, who is still good friends with my oldest friend and entrée into the Peace Corps circle, lives in Brazil of all places, not even where he did his Peace Corps work, although I will concede that his Peace Corps work was in one of the South Americas in a country whose name starts with B, so probably no real difference, right? (No, it is not Buriname, but that’s all I’m saying. I’m protecting the poor country’s anonymity for a reason.)

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Pervert Puns for Justice

On my last post reader lumipuma was surprised to hear I had conceived of my blog’s title as a pun, and wrote this comment:

This blog’s name is a pun? Now I’m slightly perplexed on why you’d want to pervert justice, in addition to just wanting pervert justice.

I had always assumed the verb/noun pun was apparent, but as it is not, Lumipuma deserves a serious answer to what is a serious question.

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This escapes me

So, far be it from me to diss the consensual kink people get up to. And sure, I’ve done a little light bondage from time to time. Zero wrong with that. Butt stuff? Of course! I think every bit of skin is beautiful and every nerve ending deserves some positive stimulation every once in a while. I mean, there are some reasons beyond just “change current legal thinking about what constitutes an acceptable outcome” that I named this blog “Pervert Justice”. But this particular contraption has me a bit bewildered:

The short chain connecting a pair of stainless steel handcuffs is further connected by another steel chain to a butt plug with an external steel loop.

Hand cuffs & butt plugs & steel chain, oh, my!

In my experience, which admittedly is only mine, sexual bondage presumes that the person bound will struggle against their restraints a bit. Otherwise one could simply voluntarily remain motionless and the bondage would be entirely unnecessary. Seen this way, anchoring the cuffs to, say, a bed frame makes perfect sense. The bed is too large for a person to move by themselves, especially if they’re on it.

And the butt plug, well, if your hands are cuffed, you can’t take it out, right? If someone inserts it into your body, well, you’re just helpless to resist it, what with the handcuffs and all. There are a large number of people who want to do kinky shit, but are afraid of feeling guilty about it afterward (or during). Being tied up or cuffed so that you just can’t stop your lover from doing exactly what you want them to do is part of why light bondage is so popular. You get what you want & you don’t have to feel guilty, because after all you were handcuffed! You couldn’t possibly have removed that butt plug!

Now of course this is a transparent conceit – not only to others, but even to the person using it. Nevertheless, its clear from many, many stories that engaging in ritualized, consensual bondage, even when explicitly negotiated before hand, or even when requested by the person later bound, can and does reduce feelings of conflict & guilt and allows people to enjoy sex that they do want to have, but that they have been taught is wrong.

So I get it! This isn’t what ties me in knots.

The mystery for me is that in this case the handcuffs are not being attached to something large and immobile. And that butt plug you can’t reach with your hands restrained? Well, now you have a chain that goes directly between the plug and your hands to make sure you have a chance to pop it free even while restrained. And once it pops free, then your hands are more mobile than before. Earlier there was the vague restriction on motion provided by a plug that could certainly have wiggled around and streched against its confines while in your ass. After the plug pops free, that vague restriction is substantially lessened. You’re still cuffed, but as a security measure, as a binding measure, it’s doomed to failure.

So… what is the appeal? I’m sure this is some. I’m sure many people think this is fun or hot or whatever. But I’m completely at a loss as to what that appeal is, since it uses the implements of bondage and the implements of forbidden sex, but then hands control right back to the person bound.

There are lots of sex questions I can answer, but this one escapes me.

 

First Amendment Fuck Off!

Section 2 also, too!

Wait, what?

This post exists because there’s yet another FREEZE PEACH! discussion ongoing over at Pharyngula and I realize I’m tired of making the same points over and over again. So I’m going to write up a few thoughts and then leave myself the option of either linking back to this or quoting it in the future so I don’t have to keep saying the same damn things over and over.

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The Kraken Went Down to Georgia

(H/T for the idea to Wonkette)

The Kraken went down to Georgia,
Lookin’ for an election to steal
He was in a bind
He was way behind
Thinkin’ when did shit get real?
When he came across a conspiracy nut on OANN flappin’ her gums
And so he squeezed his knees beneath a desk for fleas and said “Let’s speak to the Dumbs.”

“I guess you didn’t know it, but I won this election, too
And if you can’t face the facts of the case, I’ll sick (sic) marines on you
Antifa crimes all the damn time, but give the Orangeman his due
I got this far as a fraudulent star. Now I’ve got lawyers too.

The judge said, “Address me as ‘Your Honor’, and perhaps I’m sua spont’
But without some facts proving criminal acts
I’m going to kick you to Vermont.

Donny, smooth your spray-on tan and rile up your Dumbs
Cause Biden’s taken Georgia, and he beat you like a drum.
If you keep your post, the Dems are toast, and you’ll still be King Troll
But if you lose, your ass goes in the Hole.

 

Originally written for the Wonkette comments, but I’m too vain not to share it with both of you. You’ll have noticed that the song is unfinished. I may not get back to it, but I also might write up the end once the end of this attempt at election theft is over. I can’t, after all, finish the song satirizing the events before the events have finished themselves.

Anti-Trans Activism is Anti-Feminst and Anti-Woman

So let’s start with saying straight up that I know nothing about Ireland. Never lived there, never visited there, and I’m pretty much less confident in my knowledge of what constitutes Irish experience than I am that Ireland’s plants are purple. But what happened in Ireland during the RepealThe8th movement to overturn Ireland’s lethal ban on abortion is important for everyone to know. So I’m gonna reprint the shit outta the words of someone who does know something about all this, The Slothmare Before Christmas, AKA @CaseyExplosion on Twitter.

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