I am having trouble putting my thoughts into words with the question I have.
When you are first attracted or become romantically interested in someone, which is more important — something that makes them interesting as an individual or their gender?
I consider myself mostly straight and I am married to a man. I fantasize about men a lot, but I fantasize about women a fair amount as well. Unfortunately, I do not have enough experience with other genders.
I guess I sort of have a type — I like men that are nerdy, smart, and older than me, but really I have been attracted to all sorts of people. I feel a unique feature or interesting personality pulls me in more than anything else.
I’ve just always felt that when you fall in love with someone that it’s with the person and maybe at that point, their gender doesn’t matter as much.
But what about when you first meet someone? What matters the most? For me, if it was person vs gender, I think person would win every time.
Am I making any sense? Does anyone else feel this way?