Looking at 2018

Since it’s the time of the year to traditionally do so, and since my colleagues have mostly done so already, I’ll do my personal account of 2018.

It’s the personal, and also some of the political, and looking at all of it it would be silly to expect one year, a unit of time whose start and end us humans decided,  to be one thing. 2018 started with fraught. My teacher training was nearing its end and it almost ended my career as a teacher (it did so for a friend of mine). I scraped by a “pass” and I passed several months in a mixture of anger and despair. My family and you, my friends, always had an open ear for me and helped me to cope with the stress. Caine always had a kind word, while she herself battled with cancer.

Meanwhile, the world descended further into fascism. The Brits kept committing the suicide called Brexit, the Trump administration locked up kids in cages, and in Germany the Bavarian conservatives made refugees the one and only “problem”, despite the fact that few are still arriving

Then summer came, and things were looking up, at least on the personal front. I found a job that I really like, with all its challenges, and Caine was nearing the end of her treatment, when the news of her death knocked the feet out from under me, and all of us. How can you love a person you have never met in the flesh so much? How can you miss somebody you have never seen so fiercely? Some days I still cannot comprehend that she’s gone.

Affinity survived, it’s community survived, because especially in these times, you need your friends.

Therefore, the best thing in 2018 was friends.

Voyager, I’m so happy to have you as a friend, across that big wide pond. Your posts make me smile and your friendship means a lot to me. And thank you for the card. Yes, I noticed the tits right away.

Rq, sometimes it seems like there’s just one script for life with kids and we both follow it. I know that 2018 wasn’t an easy year for you either, family wise. I hope things will get better. I know they can. I love your music posts and how you often discover art and share it with us.

Charly, you Jack of all trades. You have so many talents and you create so many beautiful things, from living trees to hard metal. I often envy your dedication and endurance in your projects. I hope you will have a lot of time and good health to spend on these projects in 2019.

My dear friends and readers of Affinity, I won’t try to name you all, because in the end I’d miss somebody. You make this blog what it is. You keep sending us pictures and projects, let us glimpse into your lives and cultures. To all of you I give a rose in memory of things passed.


©Giliell, all rights reserved

And a rosebud as a promise for things yet to come.


©Giliell, all rights reserved



  1. Nightjar says

    That rose and rosebud… Thanks, Giliell.

    I think I can safely say that 2018 was the worst year of my life on the personal front, I lost too many important people and in March I thought I was going to lose my mother too, before she started responding to a new treatment that not even her doctor was convinced would work. I was already doing my own account of 2018 when last week one of my favourite neighbours unexpectedly passed away just before the holidays. All in all I just feel like I spent the year between fear and grief.

    The best things were friends and Affinity. Reconnecting with Caine back in February was very important to me, and I’m grateful I did so before it was too late. I wish those months hadn’t passed by so quickly. Affinity also allowed me to reconnect with old familiar names from past internet interactions and to make new friends. That was very important to me too, and the fact that this community welcomed me in and survived helped me cope with all the bad things going on in my life. I can’t thank you all enough for that. ♥

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